2009

Well it has been a rollercoaster of a year.
We've had our laughs, and had our tears.
It started with me drinking punch and was followed by unforgettable murders, rape, a couple of house break ins and who could forget the adorable kitten that got squashed by a filing cabinet.
I’d like to point out that not all of the above was committed by me, most of the people.... actually all of the people that committed those crimes are now safely behind bars except for the kitten squasher. He just got a hefty fine and needs to see a psychologist.



What a year...

Interesting Convo

benjamin B1 says:
wowww
it's been a year since we got out TEE results
feels both SO much longer ago, and yet only a few months ago

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
*sniff*
they grow up so fast don't they?

benjamin B1 says:
i know *wipes away tears*

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
oh well
let's have another

benjamin B1 says:
no
i... i can't live through all the pain it put us both through
i don't think our relationship could stand another one

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
I DONT CARE
I WANT ANOTHER ONE
YOU NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY ANYMORE
you never touch me like you used to

benjamin B1 says:
how could you be so selfish?! would you really rather raising a child in seperate homes?!
I couldn't do that, it would break my heart
think of the kids we have now. poor little sue-anne and billy-bob

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i dont care about them
dilenquits
plus i want that baby bonus

benjamin B1 says:
delinquents?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
only way to get my booze
shh

benjamin B1 says:
See?! You haven't even gotten over your own issues from the last lot
how could you even consider bringing another one into this world?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i need the fix
I NEED IT NOW

benjamin B1 says:
Plus, it's like throwing a hotdog down the hallway now as it is, could you imagine what pushing out another kid would do to you?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
thats it
im off to the sperm bank
i dont need you

benjamin B1 says:
If you do..
I'm taking the kids

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
good
i get the booze though
damn kids stealing my alcomohol

benjamin B1 says:
HOW?! they're only 5 and 9, they can't even stand the smell, let alone the taste of that stuff

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
well i have a full bottle before i go to sleep
and when i make up its mysteriously gone
explain that

benjamin B1 says:
you make up?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
a full bottle cant just dissapear
wake

benjamin B1 says:
No, you drink it in you sleep
You're drunk now, aren't you?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i smight be
its the only way i can live in this filth

benjamin B1 says:
What happened to your plans to go to rehab?!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i blame you, you and your horrible little job
cant support us
i have no money for rehab!

benjamin B1 says:
I WORK 2 JOBS TO SUPPORT YOU AND THE KIDS! I EARN MORE BY MYSELF IN A WEEK THEN MOST FAMILIES EARN ALTOGETHER IN A MONTH! MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED WASTING ALL OUR MONEY ON ALCOHOL WE'D BE ABLE TO AFFORD MORE THINGS!
That's it, I've tried being civil with you, but I'm past dealing with your crap
I think it's time you went and stayed at your mothers

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
DAMN IT HENRY!
shes a mormon
NO booze there
mormen?

benjamin B1 says:
EXACTLY!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
mormon

benjamin B1 says:
Cheapest rehab you'll ever get

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
MORE LIKE MORON

benjamin B1 says:
Yeah, looks like you take after your mother then

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
DAMN IT HENRY
Bobby didnt treat me like this
we had something
BUT YOU@
only thinking for yourself

benjamin B1 says:
BOBBY WAS A CRACK ADDICT!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
and what we're going to eat for dinner
AT LEAST BOBBY LOVED ME

benjamin B1 says:
NO, BOBBY LOVED YOUR MONEY
And the fact you had a clean record and a credit card he could max out
now you don't even have that
you wouldnt' survive on your own

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i have my dignity!

benjamin B1 says:
No you don't!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
*burp*

benjamin B1 says:
Your credit rating is lower than Paris Hilton's morals
You don't even know how to call a cab

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
HEY!
HEY!
i dont need to know how to call the cabn
everything i need is in this shack
Timmy!
TIMMY!

benjamin B1 says:
IT'S NOT A SHACK!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
GET MUMMAS BOOZE

benjamin B1 says:
THAT IS OUR NEIGHBOURS SHED!
Who is Timmy?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
er... the blonde one?

benjamin B1 says:
Have you stolen the neighbours kid again?!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
or the one with the limp?
i forget

benjamin B1 says:
God DAMMIT woman, what is your problem?!
How did you get to this point?!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
I woke up one morning
rolled over
and found out i was sharing the bed with you
YOU!
you make me sick

benjamin B1 says:
No, you can't say that, you were worse than this when I met you.
I brought you back some form of morals. We sorted you out, got you clean, and we had an amazing life

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
thats the past henry
THE PAST
gotta move with the times

benjamin B1 says:
Something happened. I don't know what, but something happened to change you

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
gotta get my next fix
maybe
maybe
maybe it was when you started playing that game of yours
THAT STUPID GAME

benjamin B1 says:
The only fix you need is tightening that screw loose in your head!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
making me loose all the time

benjamin B1 says:
... damn

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
MAKING ME SELF CONCIOUS
plummeting my self esteem through the floor
i started drinking again to forget
TO FORGET ABOUT THE GAME!

benjamin B1 says:
No Jill, don't say that. That's not true

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
:'(
I just
i just
i just dont know what to do anymore

benjamin B1 says:
I know what you can do... You can get your ass into rehab, kick that stupid habit of yours, and maybe then we can move on with our lives
Or, maybe, if you can't do that... You can pack up and move out of our house

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
:'(
:'(
BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
*LOUD CRYING*

benjamin B1 says:
See? This is what you do

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
*Blows nose loudly*

benjamin B1 says:
You can't handle the consequences
You need to learn to deal with your actions
Because when the reality hits, it hits hard. And you need to be stronger to deal with them

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
*sniff*
no
no
you're right
you're right
i gotta get straight
i gotta get back on path
i gotta forget about this game and stop drin-

benjamin B1 says:
Yes, you do

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
DAMN IT

benjamin B1 says:
damn
That is really, really inconvenient

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
*reaches for bottle*

benjamin B1 says:
NO!
JILL, DON'T!
Come on! You've come this far!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
BUT HOW ELSE AM I MEANT TO FORGET!

benjamin B1 says:
WITH SHEER INNER STRENTH AND WILL POWER!
Billions of people around the world can forget about it, so I'm sure we can

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
im not sure i can do this alone

benjamin B1 says:
You don't have to...
You don't have to.
That's what I'm here for
and the kids... although I think it's best if they stay with my parents while we work things out

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
you're right
i dont want them to see me like this

benjamin B1 says:
I think they've seen enough, that's for sure

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
Aw.... come here Henry

benjamin B1 says:
*cautiously walks towards you*

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
*hugs*

benjamin B1 says:
See, we can work through this

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i know we can
i know we can

*slow zoom out pans to top left*

*curtains close*

End of Act 1

benjamin B1 says:
*applause*

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
*sniff*
So beautiful
thats my Jillian there!

benjamin B1 says:
I really felt that

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
They grow up so fast

benjamin B1 says:
My, don't they?!
I mean, I really felt the story in that. The characters are really coming into their own

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
.....seriously?
are we being ben and jeremy again?
like out of character?

benjamin B1 says:
Who is ben and jeremy?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
cause I just thought they were cliche stereotypes
...im going to save that

benjamin B1 says:
save what?
what are you talking about?
... please don't tell me you're going back to the bottle

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
wait
are we jill and henry again?
or people in the crowd watching?

benjamin B1 says:
what are you talking about?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i have no idea

benjamin B1 says:
My name is Ross!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
and my name is...

benjamin B1 says:
?! ARE YOU HIGH?!
Margaret, come on, I think we should leave

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
but the elephants
i want to see them dance
and why do i have to play the girl all the time?

benjamin B1 says:
Hahaha, because you are such a loser

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
...yeah

benjamin B1 says:
ahh well
you'll deal with it one of these days

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
but
i can always put it off
right?

benjamin B1 says:
No! You have to deal with these things head on!

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
twss

benjamin B1 says:
Touche

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
ew

benjamin B1 says:
... i'm going to see this conversation posted somewhere soon, aren't i?

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
yes
very soon in fact
im getting too predictable aren't i?

benjamin B1 says:
....
bollocks

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
its a pain putting spaces in the convo

benjamin B1 says:
that's what you got for being a loser

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
...*sigh*
im not putting that bit in now

benjamin B1 says:
which bit??

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
about me being the loser

benjamin B1 says:
ohh... i guess people will figure that bit out anyway
... how much of it ARE you putting in?
... he he

Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i think i'll leave it at that

Hello

I guess I better update this thing now.

I am going to tell you a tale. An observation if you will.
In November it was my friend's 18th Birthday so naturally we went out and celebrated the fact that he has made it another year without dying and has around 62 birthdays left before he dies.
We went to a restaurant with his family, a nice Thai joint... the restaurant not the family, and some friends.
T'was a pleasant evening, much pleasantries were had. People tried to perform psychology experiments on me but failed miserably and, as everything does, the eating came to an end.

Yet there were still mountains of food left.
Now me being of a environmental nature does not enjoy the sight of wasted food. If I bit into something that I do not like, by George I am going to finish it one way or another because, you can't just leave it on the table half eaten can you? It's unhygienic.
So while I was full to the brim I begrudgingly picked up my fork and started chowing down on the remaining dishes (Just a wafer thin crisp).
Much to the amusement of me my friend's single digit year old brother found this incredibly fascinating. To my astonishment he started to bring me food. Not being one to let a perfectly good setup go to waste, I waited patiently while he waited on me. Although the food got more and more outlandish (who would have thought napkin's tasted like onions) I wasn't one to scoff at free food delivery. But what I found most interesting is that children love to watch me eat. I put it down to my natural charm and good looks.

A couple of days ago on Boxing Day, the family went to my Uncle's house for dinner. He is in the possession of two small children as well and they started feeding me for one reason or the other.
Ripping leaves off trees they presented the leafy meal to me threatening me that "If [I did] not eat it then [she would] eat me".
Not being a fan of being eaten alive I tucked into this fibrous feast.
But it did not end there! Oh No!
Bark, grass and items of clothing soon followed, each presented with the same threat. Obviously my cousin started to realise that constant threats would get you nowhere in life and thus offered an incentive while presenting me with the flower of a Hibiscus.
"If you eat this then you will turn into a half crab, half crow, half dragon creature."
Purely for scientific research and my undying curiosity what one would look like as One and a half creatures I took the bait magical food.
But it did not stop there! To stay in my magical state I had to continually feed or I would turn back into those horrid two legged creatures with fur on their heads. My cousins raided the Vege Garden. They pulled up lettuce, they ripped up some thyme. The rosemary was not safe as they ravaged the delicious herb along with the lemon grass with the accumulated filth of all its sex and murder foamed up about its waist. It looked up and shouted "Save Me!"... But I looked down and whispered "No."

And they enjoyed watching me eat.
I was quite scared.
But that is all from me, I'm going to go and play some Torchlight.

Well that was a weird walk...

In short because I cannot be bothered writing in full.



Took the dog for a walk
Lost the dog
Spent the next hour looking for her and circled the park twice ( it is a massive park )
Found her at the Primary school being catered to by 5 or so girls with a ball and water
Spent the next hour having my dog stolen by people in Grade 1 and watched her walk around the school with an entourage of people following her. Amazingly no teachers put a stop to this while we disrupted many a people.

Choice

While blocking out the sounds of the ever sickening sweet Deck the Halls I sat down to write something. Anything. The infinite possibilities were stretching out in front of me. In my fingers I had the power to mould my creation to be whatever I wanted. Anything at all.

And yet, I faulted.

For you see it is often hard for people to choose something when given the choice out of, well everything because the opportunity cost is too great.

‘Would you like the Apple shavings or the Mango seed?’ is a much easier question to answer than ‘Which star would you like?’, at least to me it is.

The former you just have to ask yourself one question:

Do I feel like Apples more than I feel like Mangos?

Whereas the latter question would have you summing up the advantages and disadvantages of each individual star eventually coming to a conclusion that presented you with the star that you found the most profitable/closest/powerful. Either that or you could just choose the most prettiest.

And that is why I find it annoying when presented with a Menu from a restaurant. So much choice! So many different possibilities and all the time as I skim the menu hoping for some divine insight there is a niggling thought at the back of my mind going “But if you choose that then I won’t be able to eat the Lasagne or the Chicken!”

So I go through the processes. What do I feel like? What don’t I want? Oh, but I had that one the last time. But if I get that one I might not like it and it will be wasted. But Jade is getting that one already. That one is a bit pricey. BUT WHAT DO I FEEL LIKE!?

And all the time is the illogical thought running through my brain suggesting to myself that I would be insulting the rest of the dishes if I didn’t choose them. Curse you Beauty and the Beast and your improbable scenes.

My thinking and pondering would be greatly reduced if the menu had only two options but alas that shall never happen.

This is why all my major decisions are made by closing my eyes and pointing. Random chance is the way to go. I figure if I spend 10 minutes debating by myself between two options or more, carefully listing the pros and cons of each, just to say, when I eventually choose the option, ‘Oh, but what if I have this one instead?’

I find it much more logical to randomly choose one, decide “Oh not that one” and repeat.

Engineer Strategy

Of all the time spent playing Engineer on Team Fortress 2 I have come to realise that everyone often destroys your buildings first.
They don't understand the might of the shotgun or a whole clip of the pistol point blank and as such ignore you... which is a grave mistake.
I often set up a level one sentry just around a corner with me hiding somewhere on the other side of the corner with the sentry in my line of sight. The sentry is the bait, if you will, I am springing a trap.

The Soldier comes around the corner and sees a Level One sentry just sitting there, it shoots him a few times as he quickly ducks back behind cover. Any Soldier worth his salt knows that he can easily take out a sentry around the corner by shooting the ground near it. So he starts to position himself, gets in view of the target and shoots. All the while you have run up to him shot him six times point blank with the shotgun and he is dead.


Of course this doesn't always happens. The pyros just rush it and the spies just sap it and even a clip of shotgun shells won't take down a full health heavy but it is an interesting observation that more often than not people will take out your stuff before taking out you.


I sometimes use this to my advantage as I am running away, I plop down a dispenser which subverts their attention for a few seconds. While this isn't much I figure I am going to die anyway, may as well.


And now i'm off.

Interesting Question

I bring you two interesting questions today:

1)

So does an erect penis weigh the same as a flacid one?

Because of conservation of mass and all that.



and 2)

How did I start thinking about that?




These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Happy 50th!

Why thankyou myself...
Thankyou.

*cue tumbleweed*

But seriously, discounting oneliners, double posts, old news and nonhelpful information this is probably the 10th post.
So HAPPY 10th POST!

Not at all stolen from Google Images....I swear.

Reenrolment

For the past week I have been furiously searching the depths of my mind to find out what I would like to do next year in Uni. Not at all phased by the fact that this decision will most likely shape the rest of my life I started to look at my options.
There were... a lot.
An unseemly amount.
More than one.

Doing a double degree I also had to sort through the different combinations which, needless to say, there were a lot of.
Confused I resorted to Jeremy logic.

Well I can narrow my options down by cutting out the types of Engineering that I don't want to do. 5 minutes later I returned with a list with nearly everything on it. Nearly everything I did not want to do was written down, all except for... no wait.
Yeah, everything was written down.
"Well damn," I thought to myself silently questioning why I am enrolled in this course, "Maybe if I look at the different science majors and check their compatibility with the engineering courses I can narrow it down via that method."

What followed was another 5 minutes of indecisive decision making.
'Ah screw it," I thought, "I'll just close my eyes and point."
Useful for ordering at restaurants, deciding what book to read and now changing ones life.

So now, I address you all as a student at the University of Western Australia doing Electrical Engineering and Nanotechnology.
To be honest, I'm not that thrilled about Electrical. I would rather have done something more physical, more mechanical but this was the only engineering that is compatible with Nanotechnology.
And I believe Nanotechnology's awesomeness blocks out Electrical's.... anti awesomeness...
Even though most probably the jobs that pertain to Nanotechnology all reside in making sunscreen but give it 5 years and they'll have started making tiny exoskeletons for tadpoles. THEN I CAN RULE THE WORLD!

Of course there was the tiny problem of reenrolment that loomed above me.
Looking at the website I had the sudden urge to kill some people online, which I did.
Returning two days later I tried to tackle this momentous task again. Ignoring all the minor issues regarding majors and programs and core units I started selecting units randomly.
'Maths seem good, neh, may as well do Quantum Physics as well."
My logic was flawless, my reasoning sound, my stomach a little bit hungry and my brain a little bit running dry on ideas... much like now.
So I will leave you be now.

The first bite of the toast is not always the last.

A few moments ago I made a choice. It was to decide what I would be doing now. The choices were more gaming or do something constructive. Unfortunately no good servers are open at this time of day so I will have to resort to doing something constructive.

This brought me here.
Realising that the majority of my entries are random musings about life with the occasional dip into the surreal I decided to write some fiction, just for you guys.
"Awwww..." I hear you say, "He's so nice, just like a liddle bunny wabbit, who is a liddle bunny wabbit? You are....yes you are..."
To which I slap you in the face, "Don't patronise me."

So ideas for my story...
I know! I'll make it interactive! That way, I don't have to think of major plot points or characters... why all the hard work is already done for me!
Of course the down side being that no one will give me ideas resulting in no story but if no one gives me any ideas it will be because they wouldn’t have read it and most likely wouldn't read the story as they didn't read this post...
So really it is self fulfilling and quite nice.

Aw, screw it... I have nothing better to do right now. TO THE PEN MOBILE!


The Pen that Loved too Much
It was a pleasant day in August, the sun was shining and the birds were chirping. People were strolling down the sidewalk while teaching their children about kindness and humility. Overall not a good day to get hit by a truck, which is quite fortunate as our protagonist does not fall to this dreadful fate.
Our protagonist wakes up, slightly confused as his brain runs through the rountine checks before full consciousness kicks in. He thinks to himself: 'Where am I? Who am I? Why am I holding a Monkey's tale and WHAT THE HELL happened last night?"
Stumbling at the second question as the narrator hasn't named him yet, Charlie goes about his day.

Toast.
Coffee.
Newspaper.
All registered in his brain as he sat down to eat breakfast.
He stared blankly at a scratch in the wall opposite him and took a bite of toast.
'Toast.' He registered once more.
The doorbell rang.
'Door.' His brain registered. It then ignored this signal and turned to more important business, like his toast.
The doorbell rang again.
'Door.' His brain registered again not quite making the connection.
The doorbell rang the third time, this time followed by frantic knocking.
'Door.' His brain registered, it was sure he was forgetting something important, it just couldn't put a neuron on what.
"Duh-or" formed Charlie's mouth, slowly getting the hang of the state he now occupied 'awake'.
The knocking increased and much like how the Swallow flies south for the winter Charlie's brain was undergoing the slow and gruelling task of getting from Point A to B.
"Door!" Realisation struck and within the span of ten minutes he had collected all his belongings he could fit in a briefcase and was out the window running down 5th.
He hadn't even finished his toast.

The Holidays

Ah yes, the holidays.
The perfect time to kick back, relax and realise how slack university really is.
I mean, come on, more than a quarter of the year is spent doing absolutely nothing but don't take this the wrong way, I'm not complaining...
Merely pointing out facts.

And along with the long days of the internet drawing upon us as a direct consequence of so much to do, so much time to do it in but so little 'can be botheredness' that can be mustered, I have come to realise that, like this sentence, it is going to continue for quite a while, ignoring all sense of structure or grammatical correctness which would surely make my Yr 12 Literature Teacher shed a tear, if not because of the horrible grammar but because her eyes would be straining to make it to the inevitable period that is the oasis of this dry and desolate sentence.
But do not worry, for I can hear your cries but am just ignoring them. I have been doing constructive work over the past two weeks I have tasted the salty air of freedom.
For instance I...I...

I updated my blog! Or at least...AM updating my blog but by the time you read this I will have already updated my blog... just not yet.
Talking to the future in present tense is confusing.

But I hear you scoff, I hear your jeers, I hear your calls of 'FATTY BOOM BOOM" which I frankly find quite insulting and rude but nevertheless ignore as this is the internet and I am the better man. Oh and by the by... I believe the correct term is "Obese Boom Boom"... Just pointing that out there.

But I spit in the face of my hecklers (so much for turning the other cheek) and point out that my friend and I made CARDBOARD BOX ARMOUR!
This is as constructive as I can get.
Let me put up some pictures for you.





This was my armour, sporting a spiffy movable visor to keep my face pretty and a heavy hybrid Cardboard/PVC Battle axe that not only keeps the environment happy but the wielder even happier.



My friends armour was much more advanced than mine. An Optimus Prime inspired helmet complimented the swinging box on the end of a rope as well as his giant shield. This was all topped up nicely with his leg armour which personally I found impractical as your movement agility is greatly reduced. This led me to believe that my armour was better... you should think so too.


Later we are most likely going to don our gear and have a massive battle royal... with the two of us.
This will most likely end up in smiles, excellent footage and a ton of bruises. You are welcome to come and join us if you want, provided you provide your own armour. Unless of course we have already done it then there would be no point in inviting you as it has already happened....
Talking to the future from the present with the mindset of the future that is even more futuristic than the future the reader is occupying is hard.

A while back me and my friend made a more primitive version of the armour and tested it out. While it isn't sporting killer weapons it gives you an idea of how durable cardboard armour can be.



And as my shameless plug to our YouTube account is exposed the creativity of my mind slowly drifts down the drain into the unknown depths of despair leaving a bewildered Jeremy, slightly dazed and ever just the slightly more confused to deal with the block that has formed from the hairs of bad ideas...
Talking to me is confusing.

Justice

Salutations my brethren! I pause mid study to bring you this tiding of joy.
Translation: Sup y'all. I was on the internets and bored so I decided to write this.

How are you anyway? We haven't spoken in...in ages.
Is your mum still well? Are the kids ok? Hey, tell me when the baby arrives.

So pulling an imaginary topic from my imaginary hat we receive justice.
I hear a slight intake of air from the front row of the audience, a heavy topic.
Sure it is. It is quite heavy, a very touchy subject, not that funny and we've all had a go at it...oh I'm sorry. I seemed to have started talking about your mother.

Having my Batman fire reignited the past few months has caused me to do some very heavy thinking. It made me realise that even though Batman is awesome because he is Batman, underneath it all, he is a criminal.
"NO!", I hear you cry, "But BATMAN IS DA AWESEOMNEST!!!111!!!".
Well yes, he is, I do not dispute this but he travels around every night, breaking the speed limit in his Batmobile, causing grievous bodily harm to a lot of people, psychotic trauma to more, not to mention a few man slaughters along the way and yet he is glorified.
Of course the readers who glorify Batman have the insight into his life, he know the character of Batman and Bruce Wayne and realise, for the most part, his motives are pure. We realise that he is just beating up criminals to a pulp slightly because of revenge but mainly because it is what Gotham needs. However the citizens of Gotham do not know this, all they see is a crazy man dressed up as a bat (and lets face it, Batman is slightly crazy, I mean....who dresses up as a bat every night and throws themselves into danger?) who is taking the law into his own hand.
By that definition alone Batman should be locked up, he is taking the law into his own hands, he is a vigilante. And subsequently so should the majority of all Superheros be locked up (I'm looking at you Superman) for criminal activities.
You can't say "Oh, the laws work for everyone except for him." because that isn't the point of the laws is it?
But that is the brilliance of Batman, he doesn't care for the laws, he makes his own. He spits on Gotham's justice in the face and takes up his own version of a purely subjective moral code.
As he puts it Batman "is justice." Much like another prevalent saying: "There is no justice, only Death".
But I digress.

Moving away from Batman for a second and this convoluted rambling that had no structure (Sorry Mrs Perry.) I would like to focus on a villain in the DC universe, Two Face.
Two Face and Batman, along with Gordon were going to change Gotham, then Harvey got acid in the face, went insane, and became Two Face.
Two Face decides everything based on a flip of a coin (as I am sure you all know thanks to Batman: The Dark Knight), you die or you live reasoning that Random Chance is the only true justice. And somewhat I would have to agree with him. Justice is somewhat blind and convictions are made when they shouldn't be and aren't made when they should be (Ok, just extrapolate a lot here) and an even level playing field is what all echelons of society should face.
There was this one scene in Batman: The Brave and the Bold where Two Face had caught Batman and had his hired goons ready to gun him down. He flips the coin and decides Batman lives and tells the goons to let him go. Of course the goons don't want to do this citing "It isn't every day you get The Bat in a bad." and advance on Batman. Two Face flips a coin, makes a decision and Batman and Two Face beat up all the goons. At the end of it Two Face says "The flip before was to see if they killed you, now it's to see if I do." and he proceeds to flip the coin.
Halfway through the flip Batman punches Two Face in the face saying some rubbish like "Justice doesn't leave things to chance".
And yet, I felt somewhat disappointed by that. I just thought Batman wasn't playing fair, that he had no honour but that might just be the romantic side of my talking. Batman has no honour, he doesn't play nice, he plays dirty.

Here is a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ervb8QT66E



Anyway to summarise:
- Justice is what we define it as
- Batman is crazy
- Two Face is awesome
- I might be a little bit crazy
- I am very tired.


I know it isn't my usual self to exit prematurely but alas I have overstayed my welcome.

Fiona

I guess random blog entries are also out of the question? If not then I might have an idea for the next one...
To The Sunday Times!

18

Well...
I am officially of age now and to tell you the truth it feels pretty much the same.
I mean, it's just another day really except this time they won't cart me off to juvie.

My inspiration is running low right about now so I will leave ye be so I may study for my Calculus test on Wednesday.
But more importantly Scribblenauts comes out on Wednesday! And then Zendikar on Friday!


It's going to be an expensive week.

Yarrr

Fellow random people from the internet, including my future self, How ye be on this beautiful day?

Yar, it be that time of the year again, TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!
Forutantly for all you lot I never got the general speech patterns or grammar that come with talking like a pirate so I will revert to normal english.

Yarrr...

So this is basically for me, not for you guys. I mean, you can read it if you want, there is nothing stopping you but it is mainly to remind myself...
You ready future self?
Ok.
Write up a blog on:
Your birthday (on the 24th if y'all wondering, don't forget the presents)
Public Transport seats
Times and Places never to insert your contact lenses
And how to catch the Jabberwock

But for tonight, I bid ye farewell as I have to determine the proper lifetime of some muons.

Yarrr

Probability

What's this?
I hear you scream.
Two entries in a row? What is this madness?


Knuckling down to start some probability today I paused to reflect on that word.
Probability, somewhat unassuming no? However if your childhood was filled up with playing SNES with all the kids in the neighbourhood a different meaning might pop up. That being: Pro - Babality.
What is a Babality you ask? I scoff in return. *scoff*
But gather round so I may weave you a tale.
Mortal Kombat, a game that took up most of my childhood behind Super Mario Land and pretending I was a butterfly, was a Fighting Game for the SNES, or Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Like many other fighting games you spent most of your time memorising difficult combos to stack up a 17 hit streak or just used the same cheap move over and over again (I am looking at You Sheeva and your Up-Down combo, and you too Shang Tsung and your fireballs of death). However unlike conventional fighting games at the time like Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat was exceptional violent. While winning a round in Street Fighter would leave your character doing a victory pose, winning two rounds consecutively in Mortal Kombat would give you a chance to FINISH THEM wherein you would enter in an incredibly hard combo to preform a FATALITY which were incredibly gruesome. To give you an idea here is a short compilation below.


Random Fatalities

So while Street Fighter just ended with an unconscious opponent in Mortal Kombat you ended with a dead one.
This sparked outrage in Parent's Groups, this game was just too violent and well....it was just too violent. They were angry at the Fatalities in particular so Midway chose to do something about it.
In their next title, the originally named MORTAL KOMBAT II, Midway introduced new forms of Fatalities. These ranged from Animality, where your character would turn into their animal counter part and destroy your opposition to Brutatlity, which is essentially a massive combo of hits that end in your opposition exploding with a gratuitous amount of blood and organs.
However Midway took the concerns of the Parent's Groups very seriously (Read: Sarcasm) and as such entered in new forms of fatalities just to mock or spite them.
A personal favourite of mine is Babality (see the connection?) where the hapless victim would be transformed into his/her baby counterpart.


Babality

Another form of fatality they put in the game was Friendship where the person performing the Fatality, instead of ripping out their spine or igniting them on fire would do something nice for a change, like go bowling or give a present. Some are shown below.



Friendship


So know we all know what I think of when anyone says probability and I now hope you think of that as well.

To study?

Study Break

During this one week of Study Break I would like to waste half an hour of my life to waste five minutes of your life.
If you were not satisfied with your five minutes wasted please write me a lengthy email detailing why you weren't satisfied and I will refund your five minutes wasted by reading this with the five minutes you will spend writing me a complaint.

Ah yes, the joys of 'Study Break'. Relishing in the ambiguity of the phrase I pause and realise how I have already started procrastinating.
'Study Break' could of course be interpreted 3 ways.
The first being as a Break from universitas to study.
The second (and probably the most popular) interpretation interprets the statement as a Break from Study.
And the third and final interpretation is the act of studying a certain type of music that blends Hip Hop, Rock and Breakdancing into a comglomeration of sound, music and feeling. It is truely a sight to behold, but then again 'A man eating a blender' is a sight to behold as well and I don't plan on doing that in the near future.
So while on this 'Study Break' (choose your own interpretaion) I may as well ramble aimlessly to give myself the illusion of accomplashing great feats. It is a great misfortune that I cannot major in English Literature because then I would also be studying. For my first ramble I wish to draw your attention to ambigous phrases.
Besides 'Study Break' one that I relish is 'I will deal with it momentarily.'
When used your subject is often at ends with the meaning. "Does he mean 'I will deal with it soon.'?" He muses to himself, "Or does he mean 'I will only deal with it for the duration of a moment.'?"
Oh course the added advantage of this confusion is that your subject doesn't notice their wallet being pocketed or a small sample of thier blood being taken... for research purposes of course.

But alas, I must leave you my loyal companions, for the night is young and you frankly could do to lose a few kilos.

AWAY!

Boxes

Just a quick one here.
Ever wanted to know what to do with all your boxes?
Well wonder no more because Jeremy and Sean, the dynamic duo behind 'Sean vs Jeremy' and 'I Have a candy, do you want to see me eat it?' bring you their latest addition to their slowly growing Youtube account that has less views than a Spelmirgy. 'What's a Spelmirgy?' you ask, exactly...


.
After having it on Youtube for a year with only 47 views I figured I would expand it to my vibrant community that not only consists of an onion but some pocket lint I found between my toes.
*cue tumbleweed*

Blag

To all my friends I say "Oogaly Purple Mushroom!" and to everyone else I say "Inside joke."

What has brought you here today? Here of all days and of all places you chose to stumble across this blog but the question remains why?
Not only that. Of all the times you could have stumbled upon this blog you chose now.
Just pause a moment and reflect on that statistical anomaly. The chances of you doing so are... quite small. And yet you did! It's like winning the lottery without the soul destroying gambling or trouble inducing money! Congratulations!

We are currently studying Special Relativity in the Physics Course I am enrolled in in uni. Well.... not currently. We just finished the topic and I will be an incredibly sad boy if they started having Special Relativity lectures at 7:30am. I don't think my brain could handle it.
Anyway in this course I found many answers to the questions that I had been asking all my life. For instance:
If you were traveling at the speed of light and you turned on a flashlight; What would happen?
The answer: You would already be dead granted you had infinite force to get you to the speed of light in the first place due to doppler shift.
And that's the thing. Doppler shift works on light but it doesn't affect it's speed, it affects it's frequency (hence redshift and blueshift) and the constant speed of light remains... well... constant.

I thought that was pretty cool.
And now! I will return to waiting paitently for Scribblenauts to hit Australia.

Fruvivor

The clubroom which I frequently frequent at Uni but am not a member of, CSSC, is pitting all the Freshers in a massive battle royale which may or may not be based off Survivor.

Anyway, as I am a Fresher, I chose to partake in this monumental event, battling all odds to win the title of FRUVIVOR CHAMPION! And $170.00.

Two weeks in and my chances of winning are slowly increasing. As our team failed the first challange by failing to produce a video (It was shot and everything....we were just too lazy to put it together) my rival's numbers decreased by one. I wasn't even at the elimination, I had a test, but miraculously I survived.
This week's challange is to write a Slash Fiction based on the members of the clubroom. As many of you do not know me and as such have no Idea what CSSC is most of this is going to go straight over your heads and into the dark abyss that is the night. Unless of course you are reading this in the day time then it will fly into the dark abyss that is the day...

Some quick notes. Lionel is the name of our pet onion and LBS stands for Little Black Shirt because LBS always wears a LBS.

________________________________________________________


If one were to look at Australia, by and large, one would notice a lot of nothing interspersed with the occasional something, quickly followed by the bland nothingness again. Eventually, if one looked long and hard enough, statistically one would come across the University of Western Australia. One might notice the many sub groups and different genders this University teaches and houses; the quaint art students, the drunken med students and the pungent engineers. One would eventually notice the computer science students, tucked away and shielded from the harsh reality of the outside world in their protective clubroom.
It is to this clubroom that we draw our attention now.
Peaceful would be a word to describe it. LBS was lounging on the couch with a Coke in his hand, Tim was stacking the fridge. The rays off light glistened off Lionel’s head whose many strands of hair drooped helplessly over the side of his container. It was quiet, it was bliss. The harmony of this moment radiated out to the passing students who couldn’t help but smile as they walked along their meaningless lives. Yes, this was what life was about.
Raph, having nothing better to do at the time, chose to disrupt this peace by storming into the room and placing himself firmly on the couch.
“Are you OK?” asked Tim with all the tact and observation of a person who also goes out of their way to make statements like “It appears your house is on fire” and “An elephant just stepped on your legs, would you like some help?”
“No.” replied Raph sinking once again into the sullen silence.
“More like Gayno,” Interjected LBS.
Raph cracked a smile; LBS’ original humour always got the best of him.
“It’s chemistry,” Raph sighed
“More like gaymistry”
“I get it and all, just that the compounds are hard to remember”
“More like the gaypounds are hard to gaymember”
“I mean, what is Tri-methyl Butanal?”
At this point Jeremy walked into the clubroom.
“More like Tri-Gay But-anal”
And promptly left.
Tim’s ears perked up. “Who said Tri Gay Butt Anal?”
Raph sniggered. “Man, that would be incredibly sad if you were in a three way gay butt orgy.”
Tim rapidly returned to stacking the fridge with added vigour while LBS found something incredibly interesting to stare at on the wall. The silence was deafening.
“Wait…you guys,” began Raph, “Wow… how awkward.”
“Well it was one of those days you know?” Explained LBS.
“We agreed never to talk about this!”
“More like, Gay agreed gever to talk about Gay.”
“You aren’t helping!”
“Anyway, I just finished DOA Xtreme2 for the second time and was getting rather bored, Tim here shows up and…”
“Wait a minute,” Raph said trying to get the full picture, “Tri is three, so who was the third?”
“Well you know how Lionel just started dying a couple of weeks ago?” clarified Tim, “That wasn’t only because of the fresher’s horrible aura.
“You know, all this talk,” said LBS removing his little black shirt to reveal yet another little black shirt, “Is turning me on.”
“Well I’m leaving” Raph quickly said making for the door.
“Ah, coined.” LBS said while writing ‘Fresher’s leaving the Clubroom’ on the whiteboard. Tim silently closed the door.
“Well I have no money alright!” Raph exasperated
*click* The door was locked.
“Coined!” said LBS pointing to a fresh offense ‘Having no coins’
“Well how can I pay you!?” Raph said silently breaking into tears, “I have no money!”
“Oh, it’s alright,” Comforted Tim, “I’m sure something can be arranged. You can always sell something to the club to pay for your ever growing debt.”
“But all I have,” Sobbed Raph, “Is the shirt on my back.”
“Don’t worry, that will do nicely.”

Omegle

Have you guys heard about Omegle?
THEN CHECK IT OUT!
http://omegle.com/

Basically they set you up with a random where you randomly talk about random stuff. A good social experiment overall I think.

Inpomptu Pyro Tennis

*Logs back onto blog*
*Blows away the dust of neglect*

Annnnnnd I'm back.
I was just playing a round of TF2 on Payload-Backwater and boy was it fun.
Keep in mind this was at 7:40am so not many people were online, it was a nice 2v2.
I was on defence and boy was I defending.
The opposite team had pushed the kart to the last point and my Battle Medic stratergy was not working against these Demoman players. Discarding my flawless game plan I settled on an easier approach of W+M1.
After killing both Demomen one of them changed to Pyro. My Heavy friend defended the Kart while I went off to search for some fresh meat and lo and behold there was a Pyro just standing there, beckoning for me to follow, so I did.
I followed that pyro all the way to the beginning of the map where we shot the ground a couple of times, the meaning was clear, he wanted me to stand there.
He then proceeded to run across to the other side of the canyon and fired his Flare Gun, instinct kicked in and I reflected it back at him, he then reflected it back and I took a flare to the face.
Yes, we put behind all our differences and were playing tennis while mere meters away our teammates were battling to the death for the glory of the Kart.

This went on for some minutes before we started to rock out on our Guitars.



The moral of this story? TF2 is awesome!

Team Fortress 2

Well I was pushing the Kart the other day on Team Fortress 2 and got backstabbed by a Spy.

So that's how it feels.
Wow...I am a jerk.

Team Fortress 2

Well I was pushing the Kart the other day on Team Fortress 2 and got backstabbed by a Spy.

So that's how it feels.
Wow...I am a jerk.

Exactly!

Not knowing what else to do for the rest of the day, I sat down and started writing.

It's not often I start writing something without a general idea of where it will lead. I always have a very broad overview of what I am going to write, only inserting minor details such as plot and punctuation.
So today really is a historic moment. We get to see what I write without thinking about it! Could this be a deep insight into Jeremy's subconscious? Could this be some scientific psychoanalysis that unveils Jeremy as the Mass Murderer that he really is?
Not that I am or anything...it's just that it could. *cough*

So now I am just going to write the first thing that comes to mind. Please forgive me if my structure is horrible and the plot is all over the place with nothing to tie it together but that is what you get when you don't plan. Purple panda pan. Please also forgive me if I attempting grammar fail but that also happens when you type really really really really reallly fast. You also spell 'really' wrong.

OH! That's right! Also excuse me for my lack of jokes but it is a bit hard to think with wit and class when thinking of what word you are about to write when indeed, you have just written it.


Well, so far my subconscious has been rather boring. Only stating facts, lets get to the juicy parts shall we?
So Jeremy... How is life?
-Oh yeah, pretty good. The missus actually just wan-
ARE YOU GAY?
-What? No! Why would you bombard me with questi-
DO YOU CONTAIN NUTS!
-What? How, but.... Well I guess that we can't say with a certain degree of certainty that I won't contain nuts.
SO YOU ADMIT IT!
-No, I might.
Wait...what? Now you're confusing me.
-I'm just saying, we can't be certain that anything can't happen as well as can happen. We can't be certain that the sun will rise tomorrow, We can't be certain that electrons will still continue to spin. We can't be certain that everyone won't spontanously turn into peanuts.
So all statements that are "True" aren't really true.
-Well they are true. But only for a given value of true.
A huh... so if I were to sa-
-ARE YOU GAY!?
What? No! How, Why would you?



And on that rather high, but flat note we...I mean I leave you with a certain question.
What's in my pocket?



*vanishes in a puff of smoke*

The Holidays

Now with the exams over with the daunting task of how to occupy myself for 5 weeks pops up.
My friend and I are going to Melbourne in two days time (still haven't collected the tickets) for the one goal of getting Swine Flu but other than that I've pretty much got an empty slate.
My friend suggested that we go nocturnal for a couple of days/nights so that will most probably be down as well as film for our long overdue No Limits. What we have done is shown below:



However while recently conversing with my friend he decided to scrap that idea due to his camera dying and that would mean basically starting all over again as his new camera isn't compatable. So expect a massive fight scene by the end of the year.
If not well....I blame it on you.
Yes! YOU!
Specifically YOU!

Gah....

But I really don't know what else to write now except that I hope you are well (aww..)
See you on the flip side.

Does the Cock crow because the Sun rises or does the Sun rise because the Cock crows?

Well obviously the answer is the Cock crows because the Sun rises. I am sure there are plenty of places where we can witness the sun rising without a Cock crowing in sight.
Of course, there might be a Cockerel in the middle of the sun that crows and tells the sun to rise from the abyss that is the other side of the world. However it would have to be constantly crowing as the sun is always rising somewhere in the world.

Let us step away fromm incoherent rambling for a short while shall we?
Last night I went to an Eighteenth. T'was good fun.
Laughs were shared. Food was had. Feet were trod on.
Yes, we went dancing.
And not just that doomf doomf dancing but Salsa and Cha Cha and other dances that sound like ingrediants you need to make Nachos.
Although I got off to a shaky start, forgetting when to turn, not knowing how to walk, and don't even get me started on those Hip-Rolls *shudder* by the end of the night I was Cha cha cha'ing to the foreign tunes that sounded a little too similar to Acky Breaky Heart.
However although the invitation did say we were going to "Dance the night away" that sadly was not true.
After an hour and a bit, 23 parched throats later, as well as too many dances to count on one hand the night came to a close. After a quick plug from the Instructors we walked into the darkness with a feeling of content in our hearts.

However this did not last long as lurking in the darkness were Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys.
"Dance!" They snarled with suprising clarity given they would have been dead the better half of a century with German being their first language.
I looked to my fellow dancers. They knew what we had to do. We were prepared, we were ready!
The Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys ripped out their guns and started firing manically at our feet... but we were quicker. We started mambaing and Cha cha cha'ing resulting in a flurry of feet devestating the surrounding walkway. No matter how many bullets they were firing we were dodging them all. Our agility and mobility were far superior to their 50 year old guns.
However a little known fact about Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys is that they always carry enough ammunition on them to flatten a small village. Luckily I was privy to this knowledge but was despondent and disheartened to find my friends quickly tiring to the frantic pace they were focused on keeping.
I consoled myself. I knew what I had to do.
Leaping over a barrel I ran down a dark alleyway and left my friend's dancing with death. It was still a good 7 hours before the Sun would appear to scare off the Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys and we couldn't outdance them for that long. None of us would survive!
"Aha!", I exclaimed as I found my prize, "Exactly what I was looking for."
Jumping over rooftops I made my way back to the carnage. They were still dancing but fatigue was catching up on them, slowing them down. I noticed one or two beginning to slip in their daze narrowingly avoiding their moosey fate.
"Where the H*ll have you been!?" Exclaimed a friend, a rare lingustic feat.
"Don't Worry!" I said Jumping down to them. "Everything will be ok!"
And with that I banished my cock.
It blinked once....twice, obviously peturbed by all this commotion. And with gentle persuasion by yours truely, crowed.
And the crow rang forth. It resonated of the buildings, reverberated in our heads and hang in the air. It was as beautiful sound.

Then in the horizon, a gleam of sunlight beckoned forth. Yes! The sun was rising! The sun was rising to bansish the stereotypically evil Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys and to bring peace and prosperity to all. The golden rays filtered through the night sky bringing light to the situation and hugging us with its warmth. Yes, the Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys were bansished and the night was won.

We then said our goodbyes and headed our seperate ways content in the fact that we had survived the night. And as we grow old we will always hold to the fact that we danced the night away and bested the Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys.


Oh well, back to Chem study.

Authors Note: This may or may not have happened.

Exams

Well Exams start in two days time which is going to be fun.
The past week I have been 'studying'. This mainly consists me staring at my book for two hours without lifting my pen eventually convincing myself that I need a brake.
5 hours of youtube later I realised another day has been wasted.

In addition to my horrible study habbits I am noticing a correlation to my Game time and proximity to exams.
I went through a stage a month ago where I did not go near computer games ( I know....shocking right?) but as exams close in according to my Steam Id:

http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197994875041

I have played 28.9 hours of Team Fortress Two in the past two weeks.
Assuming that is spread out evenly in the past week I have played 14.45 hours of the addictive drug and minusing an average of 8 hours sleep a day is roughly 13% of my life.
That is a lot!

While we are on the subject of games;
During my diligent student I found this game entitled Scribblenauts and is by the same people who brought us Locke's Quest and Drawn To Life.
Anyway the main premise of this game is you solve puzzles how you want to solve them.
How? Using anything you can think of...

I'll just let that sink in for a moment.

ANYTHING!

You write what you want and it appears!
Now of course it isn't everything but it is damn close, they had 2 months where their team just looked up nouns in dictionaries and encyclopedias to add to the game.

Anyway, it says it is going to be out for Fall in America which of course correlates to Spring down here in Aus.
Of course one must take into account that the rest of the gaming community hates Australia so we will probably have to wait another month or two.
*grumble grumble*

Anyway, youtube it. It looks great, seriously, God Vs The Kraken.

How can it get better?


Ok I will now step away from my unpaid advertising and focus on my state of mind.
It is constantly flipping between the two extremes:
1) You'll be fine
2) You haven't studied you are going to fall

Curse you Logos and Pathos! Make up your mind!
But logically I only really need 30% to pass most of my units that I am currently undertaking. Of course this lulls me into a false sense of security and when I realise I can't ace the practise tests ( as I could do back in school) I get worried but Tallyho and Whatnot, hmmm.... quite old chap.

I'll be fine.




...right?

Well...

I'm meant to be studying for next week's exams but I figured one little blog entry couldn't hurt.

Not if it is as short as this one.

Paintball

Well I just got back from paintball.

All I gotta say is:
Why do people like to headshot me? I got around 4 shots on the top of my head.


That is all.

Scared

Well, I didn't write anything on Friday so I guess one of you get to hunt me down and give me a cookie.

My excuse is I had to go to a Toga Rave on Friday which was... pretty good.
Me being me I decided that I could not be bothered finding/making a toga so I opted for the more ingenious option of wearing my Pi shirt.
Cause then I could go: "HEY! Toga....Pi. Togapi!" Much to the delight of me and one other person who kept on losing his partner. I suggested tying a rope around her but he seemed taken aback by this suggestion somewhat.
But I did wear a toga. It was quite small though. It was a tissue and stayed on my finger. Upon flourishing it I would give the excuse "Well, I had a Toga... but then I put it in the wash and it shrunk a bit."

So after many glowsticks and jumping in the pool later I eventually got home.
Which is good because I had Paintball the following morning.
Speaking of which I really should get ready for it.
I'll hit "E" for medic, "G" for Taunt, "Mouse 4" to turn the microphone on and I will shoot outside the battlefield to reload.

Pondering

It has been a month and a half since my last blog.

I am rather good at this game aren't I?

Anywho, as stated a month and a half ago I have moved house.... and it feels weird.
I mean, the time just flies by. I remembering coming here and feeling weird sleeping in the bedroom. I would always wake up and search blindly for the clock realising, after a few misplaced moments, that I had moved and the clock I was searching for was no longer to the right of my bed by now to the left.
It was weird.
It felt alien and now I regret to say, I have gotten used to this house.
Sure it is far inferior to my old house. It has no lawn, the backyard is tiny, I don't live (as my friend's constantly remind me) in Woodvale anymore, and my dog isn't allowed inside the house anymore.
But regretably, I have fallen into a routine. I was walking home the other day and the shocking realisation came that where I live I consider home.
The past 15 years of my life felt betrayed, all those wonderous memories were starting to fade, to make room for the new ones that will undoubtably be made in this....rather bland house.
My old house had character as well, this house seems cold and unresponsive. However this could just be in response to my attitude: I don't like the house and as such it doesn't want to be liked by me.
Somewhat intuative but still...

Anyway, moving away from my house and onto the subject of University.
Well, the first semester of University is nearing a close (the last day is tomorrow and then the dreaded exams start).
It went... fast.
I guess, when transitioned from High School to University you don't really notice the difference. I mean, the differences are obvious it is just that it is so different that your brain seems to go into shock. It is an extended holiday before you return to school, just another adventure to be had. But then you fall into a routine.
(The routine is the bane of the past remember.)
And your education has always been like that... and you start to forget how school life was.

It is rather depressing.
But University has been fun. I've spent the majority of my time playing Halo, getting to reunite with primary school buddies and generally not studying (I really should). University seems more slack than High School because, well it is more slack.
Sure you have a lot more material to learn in a shorter amount of time but it seems that the ratio actually sitting in lectures or doing labs to just hanging around is quite slim. Moreover, I'm sad to admit, that I've actually been dozing off in a number of Engineering lectures, something that never would have happened in High School (and not just because we didn't have Engineering as a subject in High School).


Anyway the Physics Book is beckoning and I have to do assignments *sigh* and I am not going to go off and play Team Fortress 2

*cough*

And I will write again!
Every Friday from now on!
And If I don't you have my permission to hunt me down and castrate me.... or give me a cookie.
Whichever one I feel like at the time
And I

As promised....

I am writing a Blog entry.
What fun.

Well today, as many of you are well aware of, is Good Friday.
Changing the date of Easter every year to keep us on our toes, the Pope gives a mass in honour of Jesus dieing... dying?

How do you spell dieing?
Because normally the rule is: Take away the 'e' and slap on an I, N, G.
Come becomes Coming, Write becomes Writing, Have becomes Having...
As in: I... err.... I Having the shop.
But diing just looks plain weird.
There is only one way to solve this problem.

TO GOOGLE
*runs off*

*comes back 5 minutes later*
Ah, apparently according to eclecticenglish.com:

Some verbs have irregular ing form

lie lying
die dying
travel Br. travelling
Am. traveling

Well that solves that problem, I am still a tiny bit perplexed what Br. travelling means though.

Oh yes, we are moving house this weekend. I am not sure the exact date but by this time next week I won't be in this house anymore which is somewhat surreal. I've lived in this house pretty much all my life and it has been good to me. It has always been sturdy and stood up tall in the face of danger. My only criticism to this wonderful current house is that it is a bit slutty. I mean, look at all that foundation.

Horrible puns and tangents aside I would like everyone's attention to be drawn to DRAGON BALL Z!
Just so y'all know i'm rewatching it.

And yeah, So I will now end this somewhat non humorous blog and either do some physics study or Reinstall Warcraft III.

Ciao

*sigh*

I'm not very good at this blogging thing am I?
I should set aside a time once a week where I can just blog but alas I am not organised.

Anywho, what has been new?
Nothing much, oh yeah, we sold our house so we will be moving away from our house of 15 years. It is rather emotional as it is a good house and has been nice to me.

But enough of this! I have a Calc test to study for and I promise I will write something on Friday.
If not...then.
Um...


Hm....


I will do a handstand! And I can't do handstands.

Uni

Well I just woke up yesterday morning and realised I had a Chem, Math, And Physics test next week.


Maybe I should actually open up my text book.


Oh and on a random note...does anyone actually read this?

*sigh*

All right all right, I'll post something.

University has just started to get hard. The plethora of information we wizzed by on the first week is now becoming increasingly important to our knowledge, unfortuantly we have all forgotten it.

So that pretty much sucks.
But in maths we are doing LINEAR ALGEBRA!
Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUUN!
Which is basically matrices, oh what fun.

Well seeing as I have nothing original to post here I will now leave you all with my Mario Kart peom that I wrote last year.
Enjoy. (Please enjoy, if you don't I will cut myself)
Speaking of cutting myself, I'm getting my head shaved tomorrow....just saying.

Anywho:

Hetic; Moving really fast.
All those hard corners to steer.
Cows and such whizzing past,
Whizzing right over your ear...
and by our karts.
By our karts they miss by centimetres,
We say "Damn that was close, got hit by peaches
with intent to kill. And homing too,
When I get one it is coming for you"

Hetic; Moving to and fro.
The first to cross the line will win.
But then again you never know,
someone might commit the cardinal sin
to stop and gloat.
To stop and rub it in our faces.
To say "When you finish all the places
will be taken up. I'll be first, you'll be last
and that is how it will come to pass"

But we, who are the righteous few,
continue, though we may not win.
We pause, pick up something blue.
It is the shell of a terrapin...
With wings attached.
Wings attached, A flying blue shell.
"Oh", we mutter, "This'll give you hell
and a thousand more!" as we let it fly
Flying, homing, whizzing by.

and as you get struck by that projectile
many more get sent to you.
POW block, Ink'd right in the eye,
lightning, shells and banana peels too,
no make that three
Three red shells, all heat seeking.
You shout "ARGH!" as the accelerator’s creaking
to actually start. Unfortunately for you
two more shells come, they are coloured blue.

And so we, the righteous ones
win the game, and come in first.
All the while we play for fun,
Satisfying our hunger, quenching our thirst
for something more.
Something more than repetition,
Some variety, oh this repetition
is such a bore. But the game has ended,
We shake hands, feuds are mended.

Update

Yeah, sorry for not writing anything humourous as of late but Uni has just started and my inspiration has been thin.

So I'm going to end this entry now and go STUDY!

:D

Well...

I could write about the other two days of 0-Week but I can't be bothered right now so instead I would just like to inform you I have located my missing Gamecube controllers.


They were underneath a pillow underneath my parent's bed.


And now that I think about it, I remember placing them there.

O-freakin-Week (Day 2)

"I was expecting you....O-week", drawled Jeremy as he spun around in his chair, "Please, take a seat."
O-week glanced nervously at the chair and back to the tightly clad mastermind. "Oh don't worry," answered Jeremy as if he had sensed O-weeks apprehension, "It gets much worse, MUCH MUCH WORSE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The manical laughter slowly died away and O-week was running out of options fast. He could try serving a less Crepe breakfast or try to make the kids less awkward by not forcing them together but that was not likely to happen.
He carefully took the chair, glancing nervously at his host as he did so. O-week would have then opened his mouth and shouted at his oppressor "You'll never get away with this!" or alternativley "You're mad! MAD I TELL YOU!" as these narrative conventions are tradition, but then he realised that instead of a person 'he' was actually just a Proper Noun denoting a space in time where first year students gathered to learn more about their university and vanished in a puff of logic.
"Well", began Jeremy somehow lost for words, "You don't see that every day."

This pretty much sums up Day Two of O-week for me.
The breakfast was still Crepe (and twice as hilarious) and the activities were cringworthing to put it nicely.
Thankful that I had the foresight to run late and as such, me and my cohorts who also somehow 'forgot' to wake up so they 'accidently' slept in, missed out on breakfast. However the downside of this is that we did not know where to congregate.
We walked past a mass of students eating breakfast and mingling and kept on walking. "VEG!", said I, ringing my friend, "Where are we supposed to meet?"
"Um, well there are all these people..."
"And are they mingling and congregating around a mass of tables?
"Yeah, oh and by the way did you ge-"
I hang up. I got what I had come for, that was all I needed.

We arrived at the comglomeration.
"OK EVERYONE!", shouted an organiser, "I WANT YOU ALL TO FORM TWO CIRCLES, ONE ON THE INSIDE AND ONE ON THE OUTSIDE!"
Remarking how they were more of elipses my friend and I found a spot.
And then we danced!
Ok ,well we didn't but it would've been a damn good alternative to what we were about to do.
It was...speed dating but because of UWA's anti-discrimination policy we were required to speed date both sexes.
They gave us a little sheet that consisted of 10 or so questions that were not at all personal. Some being:
What is your favourite tv show?
What is your favourite band?
What are your dreams and aspirations?
How many times a week do you think I spend with your mother?

However, never a stickler for sheets I discarded these questions as did many other of my colleges. The ten or so people I met basically boiled their questions down to these select few:
What school did you go to?
Where do you live?
What are you doing at uni?
Do any sports?

To which the whistle will blow, signifing the end to our rather short affair wherein we would both take a step to our left, symbolically moving on in our lives, to which this same questions would be asked again....and again, and again ad nausem by people who (I could swear) all look the same.


Now the highlights as I cannot be bothered writing anything more!
GO ME!

Saudi Arabia (or somewhere) resides in Australia.
The UWA handbook using the wrong 'your'.
Ms Yola Schawmbanski, who unfortuantly did not speak like Yoda and was not German as we originally thought but Polish.
Dr Tim French, who unfortuantly was not French as we originally thought but Australian.
Powerpoint stuff ups.
Tripping over stairs.
Singing pokemon at the top of our lungs.
Losing the Game.
Getting eaten by a bin.
And being handed a rather large amount of green handouts which I was meant to distribute but found the nearest person and said "Take one pass it on!", and ran for it.

I will leave you with this little thought: Chicken.
I told you it was little.

This Week

Welcome to a blog that not only doesn't have an abstract noun as a topic but also doesn't have an abstract topic as a noun.
Doesn't make sense? Brilliant!

This blog, unlike my others, is going to be vague. Having a rare fix of Tuesdayitis wherein I cannot be bothered to play Chrono Trigger or Team Fortress 2 I have resorted to entertaining myself as well as you guys through the powerful magic of words.

This week, me and my fellow UWAians are attending O-Week which is a witty and quite blatently funny abbreviation for Orientation Week.
So far we have only gone for one day; It was mediocre.
We arrived with stomachs rumbling, eager at the promise of a free breakfast. Our minds delusional at the prospect of hot bacon smothered in scrambled eggs topped with greasy tomatoes and fried potatoes made our mouths salivate. The simultanous sound of 2500 First Years drooling caused the organisers to stumble.
"What do we do?" Screamed one while fighting back twenty ravenous students with a broom.
"Aim for the Head!" Responded another while kicking a First Year in the face.
"We don't want to Kill them!" Cried another as the students swarmed him "We need their money!"
"THEN RETREAT! GIVE IT TO THEM!"
We entered into the food hall with expectations and to everyone's dissapointment;
It was crepe. (Editors note: I used that around 10 times on the day to the same people, still funny)

All the engineering/math/computing students congregated in the same place. We sat down and waiting paitently for the presenter to start.
She entered, "You all excited?", she asked.
There was a low drone of "Yes"'s from everyone.
She asked again, "Looking forward to Uni?"
This time there was a mixed response of high pitched "yeah"'s and low pitched "nah"'s. This spectacle caused a select few to laugh for no reason but these laughs were swallowed by the onslaught of laughs directed to the original laughers.
She asked for a third time, "Was breakfast good?"
A universal "No" spoke out from all of us. "It was Crepe", I shouted...

Noone laughed.
(Editors note: This may or may not have happened but is damn funny either way)

What followed has rather boring. We were put in random groups to 'break the ice'. Of course this didn't happen as our group leader tried to rally the troops.
"Come on guys!", he yelled not to enthusiasticly, "We need a team name."
Complete silence.

"How about...", I ventured, casting my mind back to Year 11, "...The Killer Pascals"
Complete silence.

"I'm going to take that as a yes. Now, We need a motto. Does anyone wanna come up with a motto?"
"What's a motto?", asked one of the other kids
"Nothing.", I replied, "Whats the motto with you? AHAhahahhahahahaaaaaah....
...um how about Hakuna Matata?", My mind already in Lion King mode.
"It has to be three words long," replied our team leader eager to start.
"A hakuna Matata?"
Complete silence.

"Um...no", replied our leader.
The silence that followed was deafening.


We eventually settled on "Life is a chain reaction" which I thought was nowhere near as cool as my "Hakuna Matata" motto.


And that basically wraps up this blog as I cannot be bothered writing anymore.
Oh but I would just like to say that riding your bike one minute and crashing into the ground while wondering why your pedal came off is not that cracked up to what it's meant to be.
But it is damn funny riding past the traffic lights then seemingly appearing to stumble off your bike while holding the fallen bike pedal up for the world to see, shrug, then continue on.

Jeremy (is) signing off.

Valentine's Day

Well it is Valentine's Day today so I guess I should write an entry.
Um...
I got nothing funny off the top of my head, just insightful commentary.
I mean, Why do people give each other flowers? They wilt and die, they are but fleeting things. It is kinda like saying, "Our love is beautiful like this flower but it will die due to neglect on your behalf to water it and also on the account of little aphids nibbling.

For what is beauty? Wait, i'm going to stop myself right there. I am not going to be pulled into another hour long discussion about the merits of beauty in a modern society and the definition of said beauty that will always eventually boil down to the observation that the Mona Lisa is really small and that 'beauty' has three consecutive vowels.

Well like most people on Valentine's Day I am lost for words.
So i'm going to end it now.

The blog that is, not my life.
I got that scheduled for next Thursday.

Happy 1234567890 Day today.
May all your potatos be starchy and your toenails long.

Scientific Experiment #1

On Friday the 2nd of January, 2009, I was in a pickle of what to do. My internet had finally been capped and I had a rare case of can’t-be-bothered-gamingitis so instead I participated in a drinking game. Except instead of alcohol I was drinking knowledge.

In an effort to expand the expanses of my mind I set up a little experiment. I wished to learn about people’s manners and how they would respond to a simple greeting of “Hi.” Theorising that since the introduction of the internet and the excitingly paced, instant knowledge we are privy to, this comparably slow and dull message would likely go unnoticed to the people stalking other people via Facebook and the like.

Originally I was going to mail everyone letters with a simple “Hi.” inside the envelope. However it quickly dawned on me that I did not have as many home addresses in comparison to email addresses as well as the small issue of cost. One stamp costing around 50c and having to send it to 50 people, I did not wish to spend $25 in the name of science. Hey, in my defence, I could do a lot with $25. Like give some people in Africa a goat, or buy a couple of tins of paint, or most likely, exchange it for 500 5c coins and play Jenga with them. The point being, I don’t have a job and thus no money. So instead, I settled for the inferior method of email to send my greeting.
Sending the message to a random sample of 49 people (That is, everyone on my contact list but deleted a couple because you can only send to a max of 50 people in one email) I waited with anticipation. Conversing with a W.O.W addict while doing so I quickly became aware he was a jerk.

Our conversation went something along these lines (I have changed the name to protect the identity of the individual):
Jeremy: You get my email?
Divad: Kinda pointless ain’t it?
Jeremy: So, why didn’t you reply?
Diviad: I just couldn’t be bothered and I don’t think anyone else can be.
Jeremy: So even though I greeted you, you blatantly ignored me and continued to play W.O.W
Divad: Pretty much, I’m Level 43 now!
Jeremy: You know you are a Jerk.
Diviad: Why?
Jeremy: Because you didn’t reply to my greeting! If someone went up to you and said “Hi” would you ignore them?
Divad: Probably
Jeremy: You see you’re a jerk
Divad: Then a jerk I am.

And later on, just to magnify the jerkiness of this individual.

Divad: Check it out! I got a new spell that basically stops things from running away allowing me to kill them easier.
Jeremy:….you really are a jerk.

So without high hopes for humanity I patiently waited while playing minesweeper (High score 4 seconds on easy by the way). A thought struck me:
Maybe this method of testing seemed unfair. Maybe we distance ourselves from society when we go on the internet and become different people hiding behind a screen. After all, it’s easy to be a jerk to someone you are not directly in front of. You see this all the time in the form of road rage. When driving cars we do not view other cars as people but merely objects. We do not personify the cars or rather we objectify the people driving them. As we do not know them, what they do for a living, if a close relation has just died etc, we merely assume that this person is a jerk. It is quite easy to blame something, in this case another car, that cannot respond and defend themselves than to blame someone or to look at yourself and realise that you are in the wrong. Maybe they cut you off because they are already late for an important business meeting or didn’t see you because there are 3 toddlers in the back chucking toys at the drivers head.
Oh and fun experiment! Next time you are on the roads and someone speeds past you or does something dangerous comment upon this. You will most likely assume the driver is male, it’s true. Inversely also do this when someone is going really slowly.
Yay for stereotypes!

I then realised I wasn’t thinking to anyone at all and questioned my reasoning as to start a massive rant on road rage that noone would hear… but I digress.

I waited patiently until Wednesday the 7th of the same month and year to give everyone a chance to view their inbox and either disregard the email or send a heartfelt reply back to me.
To be honest I did not expect any replies due to the relatively trivial subject matter of the email. It pleased me then when I received an email back not 6 hours after I had sent the original email.
At 6:55pm I opened the email and read:
“hi : )”
Disregarding the horrible punctuation I felt pleased that my trivial message was responded to with some amount of thought and care. The addition of the sideways smiley face was a simple yet effective touch restoring my faith in humanity. The individual who sent this (scoring 100 seconds worse on expert minesweeper than my sister) never received a reply to their reply. Yes, I, like many of you, just could not be arsed typing another email, mainly because a conversation starting with ‘hi’ and ‘hi’ cannot really continue anywhere except for the horrible cliché “you like stuff?” and secondly because I just don’t really like the individual that much.

Two hours later I received another email, this time from a confusing individual who “shares [his] asparagus” which could be taken in a negative and sexual connation but we won’t. Because we are mature.
At 8:13pm (and presumably now) his email read:
“ATTENTION JEREMY:

You are gay.
Wasted my time.
I might kill you tonight.
:)”
Originally perturbed by the blatant threat I grew concerned. Was my harmless email actually a massive timewaster? Will 49 people open up the email I sent them and classify it as merely a space filler, a time waster that wasted them of time they could have spent eating a Tiny Teddy or day dreaming absentmindedly about me (I know y’all do it). However on closer inspection this email made me feel hope. Unlike the previous email this subject used proper punctuation, spelling and grammar. He imitated my original email which, as I recall, is the highest form of flattery (however try telling that to Warner Brothers –“I swear, Hari Puter is not Harry Potter!!!”) and it is clear that a lot of thought went into this threat. He even goes as far to suggest he would willingly give up precious amounts of his time to do something for me because of the email I sent. So after some twisted thinking I started to regain my faith in society and this wonderful little man.

The next email I received was at 10:41pm of the same day. It read:
“bastard
btw i havent forgotten about rvb or our epic battle... its just...gotta go with the flow
but i did finish ninja gaiden 2 and have started again”
Cringing at the horrible punctuation I was confused about this email. Did this subject actually read the email I sent him? Did the subject actually bother to segue into this random rant? Are you thinking what I’m thinking B1? The answer to all these questions (and “What is an anagram of on?”) is no.
At least I don’t think so.
The last time I wasn’t paying attention to this subject I copped a face full of fist so I am going to verify this randomness.
Think of an animal, any animal (no, mayonnaise is not an animal). Now think of your favourite colour. Now think of a verb, that’s a doing word for all you playing at home. And lastly think of an object.
Now add onto the end of the email:
btw btw this (animal) (verb)ed my (colour) (object)

Would that seem out of place? If the answer is no then it is truly random. If yes then I never want to speak to you again.


Traitor.

The final email I received was at 11:08 the next morning. It simply read:
“HI!!”
This is very much in the same artery as the first email I received. It replies to the simple message with a simple message as well. Albeit a hyperactive and caps locked simple message, but a simple message nonetheless.
While this message is more energetic than the rest, resulting in the feeling that someone is megaphoning in my ear, I believe that this over excitable attitude is actually a detriment rather than a benefit. The addition of a relatively useless extra exclamation mark made me further question this subject’s sanity further making my doubts slowly but surely grow. This last email nibbled at my thoughts. Surely if this person responds to your greeting so strongly and enthusiastically one should respond in a similar fashion. Therefore I felt weird not responding. It was like if a person handing out leaflets about saving the trees were to suddenly receive a rival leaflet questioning the use of leaflets as an effective measure to tell the world about saving the trees (drink the irony of that). I felt flustered and somewhat lost for words. This offhand reply had caught me off guard.
But then I guess that is what is so great about it because this furthers my point that humans are ingenious. Yes, very stupid but ingenious nonetheless. By one upping my seemingly random email by procuring another, not quite as random but very loud email in response this subject demonstrates the ingenuity of the human mind. Their frightening power to adapt to new situations and survive through countless disasters truly earns them the title of the Cockroaches of the Universe.

So in conclusion. Out of the 49 emails I sent only 4 were returned. However 4 out of 49 ain’t that bad. Wait, yes it is, it’s only 8%. But those four were all resoundingly positive (save for the third one but shh). This might have something to do with the fact that the people most likely to respond in a harsh matter, condescending me for my actions are also most likely too lazy to respond or merely can’t be bothered (there is a difference).
So while the W.O.W addict (lvl 44 now) first planted the seeds of doubt in my mind concerning the manners of the human kind, the ravens of response plucked those away leaving a bare and barren landscape where cynicism and scorn do not grow leaving the animals of hate and malice to slowly die in the deep pit of realisation.
So in conclusion I would just like to say that playing W.O.W will mess up your judgement and your life.
So don’t play it.

Um…yeah
To answer your questions:
• Took me 2 days to write
• No, not two days straight, around 2-3 hours total
• Yes I do have a life, I just lost it
• Behind you
• 1906 words
• It isn’t David I swear
• No
• No
• Yes but I don’t have the guitar
• Nepal
• Well I did try to be an internet hairdresser but I just couldn’t find the com(b)

Perserverance

This is a House Devotion I did last year for school. I Prepared it the night before which would have been ironic if it was on preperation but it wasn't.
Thought y'all might like to read it but its more effective when PREFORMED.

Anyway, without further ado...


Perseverance

Now all of you know perseverance.

You all persevered in this last week what with the cross country and all. Hopefully most of you ran even when your sides were burning and you knew you could stop and have a rest…but you didn’t. If you did stop then well at least you are persevering with your perseverance to be lazy.

Anything we do in life requires perseverance. School, work, lord of the rings marathons all require high amounts of perseverance. Anyone watch Gladiators on Sunday? On the Sumo ball, Janine? Yeah I think it was Janine, the challenger that went second. There was no way that she was going to beat the Gladiator so she, heres the word, persevered. She hang on with all her might and even though didn’t get 10 points for knocking the gladiator out of the ring she still got 5 by not getting knocked out herself.

In numerous movies I’ve watched the protagonist always perseveres through the hard times. Frodo carries the ring all the way to Mount Doom, in Run Fatboy Run that guy runs that marathon for almost a day, without stopping which holds many similarities to the Kenyan that Nicola talked about last week who ran with a gall bladder infection. Now I’m not saying that we should all get gall bladder infections and run marathons but we can all persevere in different ways.

I know last week I persevered with my English essay, it wasn’t fun but I got it done and hopefully I will get a good mark, probably not, it was pretty bad but still it is better than nothing at all or a half asked effort that didn’t answer the question.

Now when you don’t do something because you can’t be bothered is in my eyes is pretty sad but I myself haven’t persevered at numerous occasions. I know I haven’t given it my all in some of the past cross countries (Editors Note: I have run it backwards, skipped it, carried Riley in it, sang throughout it...yeah) and I’ve not always done my homework but I paid for that later when halfway through the electric topic last year in physics I had no idea what we were doing and then had to persevere to understand most of the topic's work in a very short amount of time.

I guess the hard hitting question that you all have to ask yourself is when inveitably zombies invade this city, does your zombie plan involve meeting up with other survivors, getting to an offshore oil rig, or does it involve getting it over with and just committing suicide. Does it involve perservering through the endless years of mental and physical trials where your only friend is solitude and your most effective weapon is stealth or just running wildly in circles shouting your favourite fruit at the top of your lungs.
Think about it.
So I tell you to persevere in what ever you do whether it be your studies, or sports, or even harry potter marathons.
Dont forget to persevere


I was particulary proud of that devotion but the best bit was before the devotion.
I stood up with some of that old computer paper in my hand where it is all connected together and said "Just got some notes here."
Then I gave it a flick and it unfurled all the way to the ground and beyond. Everyone seemed scared.

Oh and if you are stuck for ideas for devotions just go up there and go:

"My devotion is on forgetfulness and er... I forgot to do it"

or

"In my devotion I will show you what happens if you haven't prepared anything.....er...um....mainly uncomfortable awkward silences...."