Saturday, August 29, 2009

Fruvivor

The clubroom which I frequently frequent at Uni but am not a member of, CSSC, is pitting all the Freshers in a massive battle royale which may or may not be based off Survivor.

Anyway, as I am a Fresher, I chose to partake in this monumental event, battling all odds to win the title of FRUVIVOR CHAMPION! And $170.00.

Two weeks in and my chances of winning are slowly increasing. As our team failed the first challange by failing to produce a video (It was shot and everything....we were just too lazy to put it together) my rival's numbers decreased by one. I wasn't even at the elimination, I had a test, but miraculously I survived.
This week's challange is to write a Slash Fiction based on the members of the clubroom. As many of you do not know me and as such have no Idea what CSSC is most of this is going to go straight over your heads and into the dark abyss that is the night. Unless of course you are reading this in the day time then it will fly into the dark abyss that is the day...

Some quick notes. Lionel is the name of our pet onion and LBS stands for Little Black Shirt because LBS always wears a LBS.

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If one were to look at Australia, by and large, one would notice a lot of nothing interspersed with the occasional something, quickly followed by the bland nothingness again. Eventually, if one looked long and hard enough, statistically one would come across the University of Western Australia. One might notice the many sub groups and different genders this University teaches and houses; the quaint art students, the drunken med students and the pungent engineers. One would eventually notice the computer science students, tucked away and shielded from the harsh reality of the outside world in their protective clubroom.
It is to this clubroom that we draw our attention now.
Peaceful would be a word to describe it. LBS was lounging on the couch with a Coke in his hand, Tim was stacking the fridge. The rays off light glistened off Lionel’s head whose many strands of hair drooped helplessly over the side of his container. It was quiet, it was bliss. The harmony of this moment radiated out to the passing students who couldn’t help but smile as they walked along their meaningless lives. Yes, this was what life was about.
Raph, having nothing better to do at the time, chose to disrupt this peace by storming into the room and placing himself firmly on the couch.
“Are you OK?” asked Tim with all the tact and observation of a person who also goes out of their way to make statements like “It appears your house is on fire” and “An elephant just stepped on your legs, would you like some help?”
“No.” replied Raph sinking once again into the sullen silence.
“More like Gayno,” Interjected LBS.
Raph cracked a smile; LBS’ original humour always got the best of him.
“It’s chemistry,” Raph sighed
“More like gaymistry”
“I get it and all, just that the compounds are hard to remember”
“More like the gaypounds are hard to gaymember”
“I mean, what is Tri-methyl Butanal?”
At this point Jeremy walked into the clubroom.
“More like Tri-Gay But-anal”
And promptly left.
Tim’s ears perked up. “Who said Tri Gay Butt Anal?”
Raph sniggered. “Man, that would be incredibly sad if you were in a three way gay butt orgy.”
Tim rapidly returned to stacking the fridge with added vigour while LBS found something incredibly interesting to stare at on the wall. The silence was deafening.
“Wait…you guys,” began Raph, “Wow… how awkward.”
“Well it was one of those days you know?” Explained LBS.
“We agreed never to talk about this!”
“More like, Gay agreed gever to talk about Gay.”
“You aren’t helping!”
“Anyway, I just finished DOA Xtreme2 for the second time and was getting rather bored, Tim here shows up and…”
“Wait a minute,” Raph said trying to get the full picture, “Tri is three, so who was the third?”
“Well you know how Lionel just started dying a couple of weeks ago?” clarified Tim, “That wasn’t only because of the fresher’s horrible aura.
“You know, all this talk,” said LBS removing his little black shirt to reveal yet another little black shirt, “Is turning me on.”
“Well I’m leaving” Raph quickly said making for the door.
“Ah, coined.” LBS said while writing ‘Fresher’s leaving the Clubroom’ on the whiteboard. Tim silently closed the door.
“Well I have no money alright!” Raph exasperated
*click* The door was locked.
“Coined!” said LBS pointing to a fresh offense ‘Having no coins’
“Well how can I pay you!?” Raph said silently breaking into tears, “I have no money!”
“Oh, it’s alright,” Comforted Tim, “I’m sure something can be arranged. You can always sell something to the club to pay for your ever growing debt.”
“But all I have,” Sobbed Raph, “Is the shirt on my back.”
“Don’t worry, that will do nicely.”

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