*cracks knuckles*

Some of the more astute readers amongst you may have noticed that my entries have been sparse as of late.
I attribute this to recently aquiring a job and not to the fact I would rather play Team Fortress 2.
...I really should stop playing that game.
I mean, just for a week or two so I can play my other games, maybe finish all those games on the Wii (I'm looking at you Metriod and Pikmin) but I digress.

So this coming Saturday I am attending a fantasy style 21st wherein we, the attendents, have to dress up as fantastical creatures! Goblins and Fairies and Elves, Oh my!
Scouring the internet I finally decided to go as a Moogle because well... come on!
So all I need to do now is grow a dangling ball off my forehead, get some demon wings, maybe undergo some drastic plastic surgery and we are on our way!

Or I could take the easy route and go as a shapeshifter who shapeshifted into me...

I was always the fan of the easy route.

Hello

I guess I better update this thing now.

I am going to tell you a tale. An observation if you will.
In November it was my friend's 18th Birthday so naturally we went out and celebrated the fact that he has made it another year without dying and has around 62 birthdays left before he dies.
We went to a restaurant with his family, a nice Thai joint... the restaurant not the family, and some friends.
T'was a pleasant evening, much pleasantries were had. People tried to perform psychology experiments on me but failed miserably and, as everything does, the eating came to an end.

Yet there were still mountains of food left.
Now me being of a environmental nature does not enjoy the sight of wasted food. If I bit into something that I do not like, by George I am going to finish it one way or another because, you can't just leave it on the table half eaten can you? It's unhygienic.
So while I was full to the brim I begrudgingly picked up my fork and started chowing down on the remaining dishes (Just a wafer thin crisp).
Much to the amusement of me my friend's single digit year old brother found this incredibly fascinating. To my astonishment he started to bring me food. Not being one to let a perfectly good setup go to waste, I waited patiently while he waited on me. Although the food got more and more outlandish (who would have thought napkin's tasted like onions) I wasn't one to scoff at free food delivery. But what I found most interesting is that children love to watch me eat. I put it down to my natural charm and good looks.

A couple of days ago on Boxing Day, the family went to my Uncle's house for dinner. He is in the possession of two small children as well and they started feeding me for one reason or the other.
Ripping leaves off trees they presented the leafy meal to me threatening me that "If [I did] not eat it then [she would] eat me".
Not being a fan of being eaten alive I tucked into this fibrous feast.
But it did not end there! Oh No!
Bark, grass and items of clothing soon followed, each presented with the same threat. Obviously my cousin started to realise that constant threats would get you nowhere in life and thus offered an incentive while presenting me with the flower of a Hibiscus.
"If you eat this then you will turn into a half crab, half crow, half dragon creature."
Purely for scientific research and my undying curiosity what one would look like as One and a half creatures I took the bait magical food.
But it did not stop there! To stay in my magical state I had to continually feed or I would turn back into those horrid two legged creatures with fur on their heads. My cousins raided the Vege Garden. They pulled up lettuce, they ripped up some thyme. The rosemary was not safe as they ravaged the delicious herb along with the lemon grass with the accumulated filth of all its sex and murder foamed up about its waist. It looked up and shouted "Save Me!"... But I looked down and whispered "No."

And they enjoyed watching me eat.
I was quite scared.
But that is all from me, I'm going to go and play some Torchlight.

Probability

What's this?
I hear you scream.
Two entries in a row? What is this madness?


Knuckling down to start some probability today I paused to reflect on that word.
Probability, somewhat unassuming no? However if your childhood was filled up with playing SNES with all the kids in the neighbourhood a different meaning might pop up. That being: Pro - Babality.
What is a Babality you ask? I scoff in return. *scoff*
But gather round so I may weave you a tale.
Mortal Kombat, a game that took up most of my childhood behind Super Mario Land and pretending I was a butterfly, was a Fighting Game for the SNES, or Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Like many other fighting games you spent most of your time memorising difficult combos to stack up a 17 hit streak or just used the same cheap move over and over again (I am looking at You Sheeva and your Up-Down combo, and you too Shang Tsung and your fireballs of death). However unlike conventional fighting games at the time like Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat was exceptional violent. While winning a round in Street Fighter would leave your character doing a victory pose, winning two rounds consecutively in Mortal Kombat would give you a chance to FINISH THEM wherein you would enter in an incredibly hard combo to preform a FATALITY which were incredibly gruesome. To give you an idea here is a short compilation below.


Random Fatalities

So while Street Fighter just ended with an unconscious opponent in Mortal Kombat you ended with a dead one.
This sparked outrage in Parent's Groups, this game was just too violent and well....it was just too violent. They were angry at the Fatalities in particular so Midway chose to do something about it.
In their next title, the originally named MORTAL KOMBAT II, Midway introduced new forms of Fatalities. These ranged from Animality, where your character would turn into their animal counter part and destroy your opposition to Brutatlity, which is essentially a massive combo of hits that end in your opposition exploding with a gratuitous amount of blood and organs.
However Midway took the concerns of the Parent's Groups very seriously (Read: Sarcasm) and as such entered in new forms of fatalities just to mock or spite them.
A personal favourite of mine is Babality (see the connection?) where the hapless victim would be transformed into his/her baby counterpart.


Babality

Another form of fatality they put in the game was Friendship where the person performing the Fatality, instead of ripping out their spine or igniting them on fire would do something nice for a change, like go bowling or give a present. Some are shown below.



Friendship


So know we all know what I think of when anyone says probability and I now hope you think of that as well.

To study?

Does the Cock crow because the Sun rises or does the Sun rise because the Cock crows?

Well obviously the answer is the Cock crows because the Sun rises. I am sure there are plenty of places where we can witness the sun rising without a Cock crowing in sight.
Of course, there might be a Cockerel in the middle of the sun that crows and tells the sun to rise from the abyss that is the other side of the world. However it would have to be constantly crowing as the sun is always rising somewhere in the world.

Let us step away fromm incoherent rambling for a short while shall we?
Last night I went to an Eighteenth. T'was good fun.
Laughs were shared. Food was had. Feet were trod on.
Yes, we went dancing.
And not just that doomf doomf dancing but Salsa and Cha Cha and other dances that sound like ingrediants you need to make Nachos.
Although I got off to a shaky start, forgetting when to turn, not knowing how to walk, and don't even get me started on those Hip-Rolls *shudder* by the end of the night I was Cha cha cha'ing to the foreign tunes that sounded a little too similar to Acky Breaky Heart.
However although the invitation did say we were going to "Dance the night away" that sadly was not true.
After an hour and a bit, 23 parched throats later, as well as too many dances to count on one hand the night came to a close. After a quick plug from the Instructors we walked into the darkness with a feeling of content in our hearts.

However this did not last long as lurking in the darkness were Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys.
"Dance!" They snarled with suprising clarity given they would have been dead the better half of a century with German being their first language.
I looked to my fellow dancers. They knew what we had to do. We were prepared, we were ready!
The Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys ripped out their guns and started firing manically at our feet... but we were quicker. We started mambaing and Cha cha cha'ing resulting in a flurry of feet devestating the surrounding walkway. No matter how many bullets they were firing we were dodging them all. Our agility and mobility were far superior to their 50 year old guns.
However a little known fact about Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys is that they always carry enough ammunition on them to flatten a small village. Luckily I was privy to this knowledge but was despondent and disheartened to find my friends quickly tiring to the frantic pace they were focused on keeping.
I consoled myself. I knew what I had to do.
Leaping over a barrel I ran down a dark alleyway and left my friend's dancing with death. It was still a good 7 hours before the Sun would appear to scare off the Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys and we couldn't outdance them for that long. None of us would survive!
"Aha!", I exclaimed as I found my prize, "Exactly what I was looking for."
Jumping over rooftops I made my way back to the carnage. They were still dancing but fatigue was catching up on them, slowing them down. I noticed one or two beginning to slip in their daze narrowingly avoiding their moosey fate.
"Where the H*ll have you been!?" Exclaimed a friend, a rare lingustic feat.
"Don't Worry!" I said Jumping down to them. "Everything will be ok!"
And with that I banished my cock.
It blinked once....twice, obviously peturbed by all this commotion. And with gentle persuasion by yours truely, crowed.
And the crow rang forth. It resonated of the buildings, reverberated in our heads and hang in the air. It was as beautiful sound.

Then in the horizon, a gleam of sunlight beckoned forth. Yes! The sun was rising! The sun was rising to bansish the stereotypically evil Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys and to bring peace and prosperity to all. The golden rays filtered through the night sky bringing light to the situation and hugging us with its warmth. Yes, the Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys were bansished and the night was won.

We then said our goodbyes and headed our seperate ways content in the fact that we had survived the night. And as we grow old we will always hold to the fact that we danced the night away and bested the Zombie Nazi Vampire Cowboys.


Oh well, back to Chem study.

Authors Note: This may or may not have happened.

Paintball

Well I just got back from paintball.

All I gotta say is:
Why do people like to headshot me? I got around 4 shots on the top of my head.


That is all.

Scared

Well, I didn't write anything on Friday so I guess one of you get to hunt me down and give me a cookie.

My excuse is I had to go to a Toga Rave on Friday which was... pretty good.
Me being me I decided that I could not be bothered finding/making a toga so I opted for the more ingenious option of wearing my Pi shirt.
Cause then I could go: "HEY! Toga....Pi. Togapi!" Much to the delight of me and one other person who kept on losing his partner. I suggested tying a rope around her but he seemed taken aback by this suggestion somewhat.
But I did wear a toga. It was quite small though. It was a tissue and stayed on my finger. Upon flourishing it I would give the excuse "Well, I had a Toga... but then I put it in the wash and it shrunk a bit."

So after many glowsticks and jumping in the pool later I eventually got home.
Which is good because I had Paintball the following morning.
Speaking of which I really should get ready for it.
I'll hit "E" for medic, "G" for Taunt, "Mouse 4" to turn the microphone on and I will shoot outside the battlefield to reload.