O-freakin-Week (Day 2)

"I was expecting you....O-week", drawled Jeremy as he spun around in his chair, "Please, take a seat."
O-week glanced nervously at the chair and back to the tightly clad mastermind. "Oh don't worry," answered Jeremy as if he had sensed O-weeks apprehension, "It gets much worse, MUCH MUCH WORSE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The manical laughter slowly died away and O-week was running out of options fast. He could try serving a less Crepe breakfast or try to make the kids less awkward by not forcing them together but that was not likely to happen.
He carefully took the chair, glancing nervously at his host as he did so. O-week would have then opened his mouth and shouted at his oppressor "You'll never get away with this!" or alternativley "You're mad! MAD I TELL YOU!" as these narrative conventions are tradition, but then he realised that instead of a person 'he' was actually just a Proper Noun denoting a space in time where first year students gathered to learn more about their university and vanished in a puff of logic.
"Well", began Jeremy somehow lost for words, "You don't see that every day."

This pretty much sums up Day Two of O-week for me.
The breakfast was still Crepe (and twice as hilarious) and the activities were cringworthing to put it nicely.
Thankful that I had the foresight to run late and as such, me and my cohorts who also somehow 'forgot' to wake up so they 'accidently' slept in, missed out on breakfast. However the downside of this is that we did not know where to congregate.
We walked past a mass of students eating breakfast and mingling and kept on walking. "VEG!", said I, ringing my friend, "Where are we supposed to meet?"
"Um, well there are all these people..."
"And are they mingling and congregating around a mass of tables?
"Yeah, oh and by the way did you ge-"
I hang up. I got what I had come for, that was all I needed.

We arrived at the comglomeration.
"OK EVERYONE!", shouted an organiser, "I WANT YOU ALL TO FORM TWO CIRCLES, ONE ON THE INSIDE AND ONE ON THE OUTSIDE!"
Remarking how they were more of elipses my friend and I found a spot.
And then we danced!
Ok ,well we didn't but it would've been a damn good alternative to what we were about to do.
It was...speed dating but because of UWA's anti-discrimination policy we were required to speed date both sexes.
They gave us a little sheet that consisted of 10 or so questions that were not at all personal. Some being:
What is your favourite tv show?
What is your favourite band?
What are your dreams and aspirations?
How many times a week do you think I spend with your mother?

However, never a stickler for sheets I discarded these questions as did many other of my colleges. The ten or so people I met basically boiled their questions down to these select few:
What school did you go to?
Where do you live?
What are you doing at uni?
Do any sports?

To which the whistle will blow, signifing the end to our rather short affair wherein we would both take a step to our left, symbolically moving on in our lives, to which this same questions would be asked again....and again, and again ad nausem by people who (I could swear) all look the same.


Now the highlights as I cannot be bothered writing anything more!
GO ME!

Saudi Arabia (or somewhere) resides in Australia.
The UWA handbook using the wrong 'your'.
Ms Yola Schawmbanski, who unfortuantly did not speak like Yoda and was not German as we originally thought but Polish.
Dr Tim French, who unfortuantly was not French as we originally thought but Australian.
Powerpoint stuff ups.
Tripping over stairs.
Singing pokemon at the top of our lungs.
Losing the Game.
Getting eaten by a bin.
And being handed a rather large amount of green handouts which I was meant to distribute but found the nearest person and said "Take one pass it on!", and ran for it.

I will leave you with this little thought: Chicken.
I told you it was little.