The whole idea where I was going to update this thing daily somewhat fell hard on its face, quite hard.
So to make it up to you, my loyal viewer, I will preform a quaint little song and dance routine.
Or instead I could entertain you with these cool facts.
ICE BLOCKS WERE ONCE MADE OF WATER!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
And so it begins.
In an effort to stop me going insane I have compiled all my aspirations into a small metaphorical ball to present to you in daily form my recent going ons. This outlet will prove useful when I decide to become a criminal mastermind and need to air my grievances of the world as well as goad my inevitable arch nemesis.
"But wait!" I hear you cry due to the small camera I have placed in your room, "Isn't that the whole point of a blog? Haven't you been doing this all along anyway."
Oh hahahahahaha! I reply in a jolly fashion. Don't be so naive child, have you not read my previous entries and if not then why are you complaining about the change of direction this blog is changing if you have not invested any interest into it already?
You really are shallow and immature. Shame on you.
So while straightening my tie and feeling smugly superior I carry on.
With my parents in Singapore and my sister somewhere in America, I have acquired the house all to myself for the next few weeks. Already, after 12 long hours in solitude I have started to notice some side effects to my isolation. The fourth finger on my right hand has swollen up a tiny bit and my apathy has increased marginally by a factor of 2%. I put both of these symptoms down to the lack of communication with the outside world, leaving me in a very much 'out of the loop' state of mind.
Without other human beings around me to try to spark up conversations I have grown weary of the day to day musings of life as life itself has no meaning. What is the point of my pitiful existence if it has no impact on the outside world? And how am I possibly going to measure my worth as a human being if I cannot interact with the outside world to determine my overall impact.
As such even musing about the meaningless of life has no meaning as I have no way to verify my claim that life is meaningless.
They say the first 12 hours is the hardest. Personally I would like to meet this 'they'. They have said a lot of things in the past which I have not been happy about, often with no references or data. This group of people who call themselves 'they' should be more closely monitored as they could spark up civil interest and unrest according to this latest study that I read somewhere.
Being out of the loop is an unnatural feeling. Has a war started in Korea yet? Have we discovered a new source of fuel to quiet the masses? What has happened to Oprah?
OH TELL ME WHAT OPRAH DID!? LIKE! WHAT DID SHE EAT FOR LUNCH!? I NEED TO KNOW!
So anyway, 12 hours down of my self inflicted solitude and only 350 odd left to go.
"But wait!" I hear you cry due to the small camera I have placed in your room, "Isn't that the whole point of a blog? Haven't you been doing this all along anyway."
Oh hahahahahaha! I reply in a jolly fashion. Don't be so naive child, have you not read my previous entries and if not then why are you complaining about the change of direction this blog is changing if you have not invested any interest into it already?
You really are shallow and immature. Shame on you.
So while straightening my tie and feeling smugly superior I carry on.
With my parents in Singapore and my sister somewhere in America, I have acquired the house all to myself for the next few weeks. Already, after 12 long hours in solitude I have started to notice some side effects to my isolation. The fourth finger on my right hand has swollen up a tiny bit and my apathy has increased marginally by a factor of 2%. I put both of these symptoms down to the lack of communication with the outside world, leaving me in a very much 'out of the loop' state of mind.
Without other human beings around me to try to spark up conversations I have grown weary of the day to day musings of life as life itself has no meaning. What is the point of my pitiful existence if it has no impact on the outside world? And how am I possibly going to measure my worth as a human being if I cannot interact with the outside world to determine my overall impact.
As such even musing about the meaningless of life has no meaning as I have no way to verify my claim that life is meaningless.
They say the first 12 hours is the hardest. Personally I would like to meet this 'they'. They have said a lot of things in the past which I have not been happy about, often with no references or data. This group of people who call themselves 'they' should be more closely monitored as they could spark up civil interest and unrest according to this latest study that I read somewhere.
Being out of the loop is an unnatural feeling. Has a war started in Korea yet? Have we discovered a new source of fuel to quiet the masses? What has happened to Oprah?
OH TELL ME WHAT OPRAH DID!? LIKE! WHAT DID SHE EAT FOR LUNCH!? I NEED TO KNOW!
So anyway, 12 hours down of my self inflicted solitude and only 350 odd left to go.
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Lonesome Knight!
The knight was young for the straggle moose
Not a day over thirty five
So I wonder why it let him loose
Why it let the brave knight survive?
Some speculate that the moon did help
The rather dashing young man
By raising the tides and sending in kelp
To distract the moose while he ran
Others say the moose took pity
Of the knight, all bound up tight
For it did snatch him from the city
And let me tell you it was quite a sight
There the knight was playing poker
With his horse along as well
He was out of chips, bet his super soaker
With a kidney he could sell.
The cards were flopped the hands were queried
His opponent raised some Sauce
Reluctantly the knight quite wearied
Offered up his horse
But his horse said “Neigh!” and cantered off
Leaving the knight alone
The cards were shown, he was at a loss
He admitted he got pwned.
His opponent then, unsheaving a knife
Demanded the other kidney
The knight objected “I need that for life!
Of your presence you shall rid me!”
A brawl was started, the knight but one
The others had a plenty
With their numbers they did overcome
One knight is no match for twenty
Broken and maimed the knight hobbled out
Into the bustling city
He hit a cart, stepped on a lout
The resulting case was not pretty
Alas the knight was overcome
By the lout and his friends they
Did pummel the knight who was but one
The thugs were a plenty
The knight was setting a course for home
when he did trip over his son
He helped him up, “Why you’re all alone”
Then he saw what the son had done
His arms were slashed, his liver missing
The son did rise “from the east
They came with swords and snakes a hissing
They said they needed a feast”
The knight rose up while his son sat down
The situation was bad he deduced
The last thing he saw before blacking out with a frown
Were the horns of a lone straggle moose.
Thus ends the tale of the Lonesome Knight
Even though there are some loose ends
The bad guys were captured their wounds were healed
And Everybody made amends
Except for the straggle moose
It is of course on the loose
Hunting down maidens
Playing some raiden
Playing some raiden
Which is quite a feat if you have hoofs.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Two Peanuts
Breaking his 2 month long silence our Author pauses and deliberates what to write about next.
Pen poised and mind at the ready he slowly inches his way over to the lever of inspiration which he must pry free with the stick of hard work unleashing it from the cruel harsh grips of laziness.
And thus he writes:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Bobby was not your ordinary peanut, oh no. Bobby was what you would refer to as a special nut.
You see Bobby was different from all the other peanuts. While the other peanuts would play their special peanut games with each other Bobby would be excluded and shunned from the group.
It barely bothered Bobby, or at least that is what he told himself. It gave him more time to himself, it gave him more time to think.
Bobby liked to think.
"A bright lad, bright lad", Mr Hersworth, Bobby's algebra teacher would say of Bobby while puffing on his pipe, "A tad bit quiet though, and a little bit...special".
"Oh yes, I would say he is extremely bright, although he is also a very strange boy, very special." Was how Mrs Tennytot would describe Bobby.
Though the truth was that all the teachers at Little Peanutington Elementary were a tiny bit afraid of young Bobby. Bobby intimidated them, they gave them the willies.
He would always sit upright and pay attention to whatever they said, adsorbing all their words. He was like a sponge, no a vacuum, sucking in everything into his little peanut head.
You see Bobby listened and that was the most unnerving thing about him. Bobby listened to everything.
Bobby liked to listen.
It was sixth period and the school day was nearing a close. The minute hand was slowly meandering towards the number twelve and all of Bobby's classmates were restless with the seemingly endless possibilities that stretch from the long hours of three until dinner...
I WILL CONTINUE THIS AT A LATER DATE!
BUT NOW! DONKEY KONG COUNTRY RETURNS BECKONS!
Pen poised and mind at the ready he slowly inches his way over to the lever of inspiration which he must pry free with the stick of hard work unleashing it from the cruel harsh grips of laziness.
And thus he writes:
Bobby was not your ordinary peanut, oh no. Bobby was what you would refer to as a special nut.
You see Bobby was different from all the other peanuts. While the other peanuts would play their special peanut games with each other Bobby would be excluded and shunned from the group.
It barely bothered Bobby, or at least that is what he told himself. It gave him more time to himself, it gave him more time to think.
Bobby liked to think.
"A bright lad, bright lad", Mr Hersworth, Bobby's algebra teacher would say of Bobby while puffing on his pipe, "A tad bit quiet though, and a little bit...special".
"Oh yes, I would say he is extremely bright, although he is also a very strange boy, very special." Was how Mrs Tennytot would describe Bobby.
Though the truth was that all the teachers at Little Peanutington Elementary were a tiny bit afraid of young Bobby. Bobby intimidated them, they gave them the willies.
He would always sit upright and pay attention to whatever they said, adsorbing all their words. He was like a sponge, no a vacuum, sucking in everything into his little peanut head.
You see Bobby listened and that was the most unnerving thing about him. Bobby listened to everything.
Bobby liked to listen.
It was sixth period and the school day was nearing a close. The minute hand was slowly meandering towards the number twelve and all of Bobby's classmates were restless with the seemingly endless possibilities that stretch from the long hours of three until dinner...
I WILL CONTINUE THIS AT A LATER DATE!
BUT NOW! DONKEY KONG COUNTRY RETURNS BECKONS!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Short Story
Some of my more astute viewers might remember a story I posted late last year regarding an onion, chemistry and a Little Black Shirted Man.
Well the Fruvivor competition this year was pretty much the same so here is a totally original STORY!
Enjoy!
As one sweeps the universe for all its mysteries one often forgets to notice the little oddities that lie close to home. From the Pistol Shrimp’s unique way of stunning fish to the Cordyceps fungus’ fascinating way of population control there are so many oddities that we glance over simply because they have become the norm. Perhaps the most interesting oddity that we have grown to forget, one that is more interesting than the Pistol Shrimp, more fascinating than the Cordyceps fungus and more odd than a metamorphous of a caterpillar is a small group of dedicated people who have devoted their lives to remind the world of the loss it has sustained. Through them, the world may relive the essence of joy, the power of knowledge and the friendly smile that united nations. Through them, the world may remember Tyler.
Our story takes place at the First Church Of Tyler, located on a hill by the river. It is a grand place indeed, with pillars that reach up to the sky and the walls adorned with paintings of Tyler. It reminds the world of what it has lost.
“And so,” Droned LBSM sporting a Little Black Clerical Outfit, “We must live each day as Tyler intended. We must grasp all possibilities and make them our own. We must be as Tyler was, loving caring and above all logical. And I hear you wonder, ‘But how can we be as Tyler was? How can we be that perfect?’ well do not worry. We can never be as Tyler truly was, only a pale shadow compared to him. He does not expect us to be as him, only that we continue on his legacy. Go in peace brethren.”
“And shall Tyler light the way.” Responded the congregation as one.
“That was an excellent sermon you gave,” said Sammy as the congregation moved out onto the lawn.
“Thankyou Brother Sammy, I felt Tyler’s spirits run through me today.”
“So you still feel him then?” Questioned Sammy, “It’s just that lately I have not been feeling the spirit of Tyler as I once did, I just wonder if it is possible if you were able to-”
“Now Sammy,” interrupted LBSM, “We both know the Great Tyler doeth move in mysterious ways.”
“But I just feel that my passion is fading, my mind has been slipping. Wouldn’t it be possible for you to just give me-”
“No, I am afraid not. Now if you excuse me I have to attend to the books.”
Somewhat disappointed Good Sammy left the alter and stumbled outside into the light wondering what had become of himself and his faith. He had once been a devotee of Tyler, one of his firsts. He did as Tyler did and ate what Tyler ate. He was the model devotee, a shining example but then the incident occurred… they never did find the body.
“Hey Sammy!” Interrupted Kayla as he stumbled by, “How you going?”
“Yeah alright I guess,” responded Sammy despondently, “It’s just that-”
“That’s awesome! Look, what do you think of this necklace Raph bought me? I think it is so brilliant, it matches my eyes and it sparkles if you hold it just right.”
Sammy let Kayla’s words wash over him as he took in his surroundings, the sun was up but there were a few storm clouds on the horizon. The reflection of the lake caught Sammy’s eye as English Sam juggled a ball expertly from foot to foot. His windswept hair and glistening muscles complimented his figure. Sammy scowled. He should not let such thoughts enter his mind. It was against everything that Tyler stood for but even so- He became aware of a buzzing sound entering his unconscious.
“Hello? HELLO?” said Kayla eventually breaking through. “I said what do you think?”
“Oh yeah,” responded Sammy, “Yeah, it’s good.”
“Cool, look Raph and I were going to go and see this hilarious new romantic comedy and then he said he would take me paddle boating and everything! Can you believe it? Oh look, Here he comes now! Squeal! Look I’ll catch up with you later. Bye!”
Sam had never heard anyone pronounce the word ‘squeal’ before. He filed it away as an oddity only Kayla could reproduce.
He wandered on following his subconscious to the lake.
“HEADS!” came the shout as a soccer ball careened out of nowhere and knocked Sammy to the floor.
“Sorry about that Sammy,” puffed English as he extended his hand, “You really should look where you are going.”
“ I know,” said Sammy as he took English’s hand, “I’ve just had a lot-” What was this feeling? Like electricity almost. He never had noticed it until now. Never thought about it until now. Never realised that until now…
“You’ve just had a lot?” Questioned English, somewhat perturbed by the sudden silence fallen over Sammy. “You’ve been drinking again?”
“What? Oh no! No, I’ve just had a lot on my mind. A lot on my mind”
The silence stretched out again, reaching into the dark depths of time and blocking all surrounding noises as it recklessly freefalled into oblivion. Then, like a match suddenly being struck in a dark cave English’s voice flashed out.
“You can let go now.”
“I’m sorry?” Replied Sammy.
“You can let go of my hand now.”
“Oh yes! Um… sorry about that. Don’t know what came over me.” Replied Sammy, flustered by this experience.
“Look, are you ok?,” Asked English, “Because you do seem a little pale.”
“Yeah, it is just that I haven’t been feeling Tyler lately and… I don’t know.”
“Well… do you want to talk about it?”
“Huh?”
“I said, do you want to talk about it?”
“Well it’s just that. Life isn’t fair is it? I mean, why did Tyler have to leave us? After all he did for us why did he have to go?
“You were close to him weren’t you?” Interjected English.
“I was one of his chosen few, I took in everything he said and studied all his teachings and then he just vanishes! After ending poverty and discovering clean fuel he just ups and leaves. He had to go and die before even saying goodbye to me! To his closest devotee.”
“They never did find the body did they?”
“He could unite the nations with his smile but he couldn’t stop the darkness that dwells in the hearts of men, try as he might.”
“I had a hard time too but I got through with a little help from my friends. Tyler would have wanted us to continue his great message not wallow in self pity. You of all people should know that.” English flashed Sammy an encouraging smile.
Sammy smiled back. “You’re right, you always are. Come on, lets play some ball.”
They played for hours that day. And while Sammy tried to put it out of his mind he could not help noticing the sweat whipping off English’s shirt as he bounced the ball. The skill with his feet as he dribbled it around and all the while English’s charming face, shining through. Placing a beacon of hope and kindness on an otherwise drab day. Never before had Sammy felt such feelings of nervousness mixed with joy. Whenever their eyes crossed he could not help it but to grin and feel slightly embarrassed. Perhaps, just for those few short hours, Sammy finally forgot and lived in the present.
“Hey English!” he shouted as he passed the ball back somewhat shocked by the words coming out of his mouth.
“Yeah?”
“I just want to say that you are a true friend.”
“Thanks man.”
“Wait there’s more…” he hesitated, “ I have always admired you and that I shouldn’t try to deny my feelings anymore and so I just want to say-“
Sammy looked at English, their eyes met and for a moment, the world stop. The ball bounced harmlessly down the hill as English replied as soft as a breath of air “I know.”
The rain came thundering down from the skies as Sammy and English locked gazes. They stood there for what felt like hours just savouring the moment. Savouring this feeling.
“We should,” interrupted English breaking the spell, “We should probably get out of the rain.”
Looking around they noticed their surroundings for what seemed the first time in ages, it was nearing the night time and all the Tyler Worshippers had already left for home.
“Quick! Back to the church!” Shouted Sammy, “It should still be open.”
Sammy and English rushed to the great double doors of the church. Each of them grabbing a handle they pulled with all their might finally falling to the floor of the church.
“Man, I am completely soaked,” Panted English as he got to his knees. The discerning faces of Tyler surrounded them, discerning them.
“You’re going to catch a cold with all those wet clothes on,” whispered Sammy as he got off the floor, “That wouldn’t be good at all.”
English shivered as Sammy reached to unbutton his shirt. He always had lusted after Sammy, just that he never dreamed this would actually happen. He noticed the lean body of Sammy bent over him through the now translucent wet shirt. His hands shaking he reached up and started unbuttoning Sammy.
“You big dummy,” English whispered as his breath condensed on Sammy’s neck. “You’re going to get a cold too if you leave your shirt on.”
Sammy let out a moan as English touched his chest. “Your hands are so cold.” Sammy said.
“Well lets warm them up them.” English replied.
Slipping off his own shirt English tentatively removed Sammy’s. Their bodies glistening in the dim light of the church. Droplets of water shining off their bodies, sweat intertwining with rain.
Sammy reached up and stroked English’s hair.
“Come on, I’m ready.”
Lightning struck, thunder rolled. The light’s of the church were activated to reveal a startled LBSM at the top of the stairs.
Sammy let out a startled scream. “LBSM! Look! I can explain! It’s not what it looks like!”
LBSM let out a knowing smile, “It’s ok Brother Sammy.”
“It just started raining and we came inside here and then we were worried about catching a cold so we-”
“I said it is ok Brother Sammy.”
“I just wanted to please Tyler all alo- Wait… you are ok with this?”
“Why of course I am,” Replied LBSM, “If this is what you truly want then I am sure Tyler will be understanding.”
“I’m not going against Tyler by following my heart?”
“Of course not Brother Sammy, You do not love Tyler any less because you also love another man. Why I remember my first time with Lionel and Jim…”
Sammy felt English’s hand on his shoulder as LBSM recounted his story. “Everything has turned out all right then has it? Do you now understand what Tyler had in store for you?”
“I think, I think I do. Thankyou Sam.” Said Sammy.
“Hey that’s what friends are for.”
“And then there was this other time with Raph, boy that was brilliant.”
“I hate to interrupt but if there any place we could get some rest?” Inquired Sammy.
“Oh yes! So sorry, there is a special room out back that I keep stocked for special occasions like this. Just down the hall and on the right.”
Another happy ending, mused LBSM as he moved the alter to reveal a secret passage. Descending the stairs he smiled as he removed his Little Black Clerical Outfit and revealed a Little Black Skin Tight Outfit.
He passed a hall adorned with Tyler’s pictures and by the monitors showing Sammy and English comforting each other. He absentmindedly picked up a whip while he mused life’s oddities.
Isn’t it an oddity, he thought, that they never did find Tyler’s body.
He opened a locked door to expose a dejected human chained to the wall. At a certain angle you might have reflected that this person might have been quite handsome some time in the past. You might also have commented that his smile might have bought the nations together.
“Now,” Said LBSM, “Where were we?”
Well the Fruvivor competition this year was pretty much the same so here is a totally original STORY!
Enjoy!
As one sweeps the universe for all its mysteries one often forgets to notice the little oddities that lie close to home. From the Pistol Shrimp’s unique way of stunning fish to the Cordyceps fungus’ fascinating way of population control there are so many oddities that we glance over simply because they have become the norm. Perhaps the most interesting oddity that we have grown to forget, one that is more interesting than the Pistol Shrimp, more fascinating than the Cordyceps fungus and more odd than a metamorphous of a caterpillar is a small group of dedicated people who have devoted their lives to remind the world of the loss it has sustained. Through them, the world may relive the essence of joy, the power of knowledge and the friendly smile that united nations. Through them, the world may remember Tyler.
Our story takes place at the First Church Of Tyler, located on a hill by the river. It is a grand place indeed, with pillars that reach up to the sky and the walls adorned with paintings of Tyler. It reminds the world of what it has lost.
“And so,” Droned LBSM sporting a Little Black Clerical Outfit, “We must live each day as Tyler intended. We must grasp all possibilities and make them our own. We must be as Tyler was, loving caring and above all logical. And I hear you wonder, ‘But how can we be as Tyler was? How can we be that perfect?’ well do not worry. We can never be as Tyler truly was, only a pale shadow compared to him. He does not expect us to be as him, only that we continue on his legacy. Go in peace brethren.”
“And shall Tyler light the way.” Responded the congregation as one.
“That was an excellent sermon you gave,” said Sammy as the congregation moved out onto the lawn.
“Thankyou Brother Sammy, I felt Tyler’s spirits run through me today.”
“So you still feel him then?” Questioned Sammy, “It’s just that lately I have not been feeling the spirit of Tyler as I once did, I just wonder if it is possible if you were able to-”
“Now Sammy,” interrupted LBSM, “We both know the Great Tyler doeth move in mysterious ways.”
“But I just feel that my passion is fading, my mind has been slipping. Wouldn’t it be possible for you to just give me-”
“No, I am afraid not. Now if you excuse me I have to attend to the books.”
Somewhat disappointed Good Sammy left the alter and stumbled outside into the light wondering what had become of himself and his faith. He had once been a devotee of Tyler, one of his firsts. He did as Tyler did and ate what Tyler ate. He was the model devotee, a shining example but then the incident occurred… they never did find the body.
“Hey Sammy!” Interrupted Kayla as he stumbled by, “How you going?”
“Yeah alright I guess,” responded Sammy despondently, “It’s just that-”
“That’s awesome! Look, what do you think of this necklace Raph bought me? I think it is so brilliant, it matches my eyes and it sparkles if you hold it just right.”
Sammy let Kayla’s words wash over him as he took in his surroundings, the sun was up but there were a few storm clouds on the horizon. The reflection of the lake caught Sammy’s eye as English Sam juggled a ball expertly from foot to foot. His windswept hair and glistening muscles complimented his figure. Sammy scowled. He should not let such thoughts enter his mind. It was against everything that Tyler stood for but even so- He became aware of a buzzing sound entering his unconscious.
“Hello? HELLO?” said Kayla eventually breaking through. “I said what do you think?”
“Oh yeah,” responded Sammy, “Yeah, it’s good.”
“Cool, look Raph and I were going to go and see this hilarious new romantic comedy and then he said he would take me paddle boating and everything! Can you believe it? Oh look, Here he comes now! Squeal! Look I’ll catch up with you later. Bye!”
Sam had never heard anyone pronounce the word ‘squeal’ before. He filed it away as an oddity only Kayla could reproduce.
He wandered on following his subconscious to the lake.
“HEADS!” came the shout as a soccer ball careened out of nowhere and knocked Sammy to the floor.
“Sorry about that Sammy,” puffed English as he extended his hand, “You really should look where you are going.”
“ I know,” said Sammy as he took English’s hand, “I’ve just had a lot-” What was this feeling? Like electricity almost. He never had noticed it until now. Never thought about it until now. Never realised that until now…
“You’ve just had a lot?” Questioned English, somewhat perturbed by the sudden silence fallen over Sammy. “You’ve been drinking again?”
“What? Oh no! No, I’ve just had a lot on my mind. A lot on my mind”
The silence stretched out again, reaching into the dark depths of time and blocking all surrounding noises as it recklessly freefalled into oblivion. Then, like a match suddenly being struck in a dark cave English’s voice flashed out.
“You can let go now.”
“I’m sorry?” Replied Sammy.
“You can let go of my hand now.”
“Oh yes! Um… sorry about that. Don’t know what came over me.” Replied Sammy, flustered by this experience.
“Look, are you ok?,” Asked English, “Because you do seem a little pale.”
“Yeah, it is just that I haven’t been feeling Tyler lately and… I don’t know.”
“Well… do you want to talk about it?”
“Huh?”
“I said, do you want to talk about it?”
“Well it’s just that. Life isn’t fair is it? I mean, why did Tyler have to leave us? After all he did for us why did he have to go?
“You were close to him weren’t you?” Interjected English.
“I was one of his chosen few, I took in everything he said and studied all his teachings and then he just vanishes! After ending poverty and discovering clean fuel he just ups and leaves. He had to go and die before even saying goodbye to me! To his closest devotee.”
“They never did find the body did they?”
“He could unite the nations with his smile but he couldn’t stop the darkness that dwells in the hearts of men, try as he might.”
“I had a hard time too but I got through with a little help from my friends. Tyler would have wanted us to continue his great message not wallow in self pity. You of all people should know that.” English flashed Sammy an encouraging smile.
Sammy smiled back. “You’re right, you always are. Come on, lets play some ball.”
They played for hours that day. And while Sammy tried to put it out of his mind he could not help noticing the sweat whipping off English’s shirt as he bounced the ball. The skill with his feet as he dribbled it around and all the while English’s charming face, shining through. Placing a beacon of hope and kindness on an otherwise drab day. Never before had Sammy felt such feelings of nervousness mixed with joy. Whenever their eyes crossed he could not help it but to grin and feel slightly embarrassed. Perhaps, just for those few short hours, Sammy finally forgot and lived in the present.
“Hey English!” he shouted as he passed the ball back somewhat shocked by the words coming out of his mouth.
“Yeah?”
“I just want to say that you are a true friend.”
“Thanks man.”
“Wait there’s more…” he hesitated, “ I have always admired you and that I shouldn’t try to deny my feelings anymore and so I just want to say-“
Sammy looked at English, their eyes met and for a moment, the world stop. The ball bounced harmlessly down the hill as English replied as soft as a breath of air “I know.”
The rain came thundering down from the skies as Sammy and English locked gazes. They stood there for what felt like hours just savouring the moment. Savouring this feeling.
“We should,” interrupted English breaking the spell, “We should probably get out of the rain.”
Looking around they noticed their surroundings for what seemed the first time in ages, it was nearing the night time and all the Tyler Worshippers had already left for home.
“Quick! Back to the church!” Shouted Sammy, “It should still be open.”
Sammy and English rushed to the great double doors of the church. Each of them grabbing a handle they pulled with all their might finally falling to the floor of the church.
“Man, I am completely soaked,” Panted English as he got to his knees. The discerning faces of Tyler surrounded them, discerning them.
“You’re going to catch a cold with all those wet clothes on,” whispered Sammy as he got off the floor, “That wouldn’t be good at all.”
English shivered as Sammy reached to unbutton his shirt. He always had lusted after Sammy, just that he never dreamed this would actually happen. He noticed the lean body of Sammy bent over him through the now translucent wet shirt. His hands shaking he reached up and started unbuttoning Sammy.
“You big dummy,” English whispered as his breath condensed on Sammy’s neck. “You’re going to get a cold too if you leave your shirt on.”
Sammy let out a moan as English touched his chest. “Your hands are so cold.” Sammy said.
“Well lets warm them up them.” English replied.
Slipping off his own shirt English tentatively removed Sammy’s. Their bodies glistening in the dim light of the church. Droplets of water shining off their bodies, sweat intertwining with rain.
Sammy reached up and stroked English’s hair.
“Come on, I’m ready.”
Lightning struck, thunder rolled. The light’s of the church were activated to reveal a startled LBSM at the top of the stairs.
Sammy let out a startled scream. “LBSM! Look! I can explain! It’s not what it looks like!”
LBSM let out a knowing smile, “It’s ok Brother Sammy.”
“It just started raining and we came inside here and then we were worried about catching a cold so we-”
“I said it is ok Brother Sammy.”
“I just wanted to please Tyler all alo- Wait… you are ok with this?”
“Why of course I am,” Replied LBSM, “If this is what you truly want then I am sure Tyler will be understanding.”
“I’m not going against Tyler by following my heart?”
“Of course not Brother Sammy, You do not love Tyler any less because you also love another man. Why I remember my first time with Lionel and Jim…”
Sammy felt English’s hand on his shoulder as LBSM recounted his story. “Everything has turned out all right then has it? Do you now understand what Tyler had in store for you?”
“I think, I think I do. Thankyou Sam.” Said Sammy.
“Hey that’s what friends are for.”
“And then there was this other time with Raph, boy that was brilliant.”
“I hate to interrupt but if there any place we could get some rest?” Inquired Sammy.
“Oh yes! So sorry, there is a special room out back that I keep stocked for special occasions like this. Just down the hall and on the right.”
Another happy ending, mused LBSM as he moved the alter to reveal a secret passage. Descending the stairs he smiled as he removed his Little Black Clerical Outfit and revealed a Little Black Skin Tight Outfit.
He passed a hall adorned with Tyler’s pictures and by the monitors showing Sammy and English comforting each other. He absentmindedly picked up a whip while he mused life’s oddities.
Isn’t it an oddity, he thought, that they never did find Tyler’s body.
He opened a locked door to expose a dejected human chained to the wall. At a certain angle you might have reflected that this person might have been quite handsome some time in the past. You might also have commented that his smile might have bought the nations together.
“Now,” Said LBSM, “Where were we?”
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Scars of Mirrodin
Hello fools.
A quick one today because I have a Nanotechnology report due tomorrow that really needs finishing.
I mean, he has jets coming out of his armpits. COME ON!
Ancient Stirrings can help us search for Liquimetal Coating (you know, as how our whole deck is based around it) and this card:
Keeps the draws coming.
A quick one today because I have a Nanotechnology report due tomorrow that really needs finishing.
A fun deck idea with some cards spoiled from SOM.
Basically the deck is built around this card:
Using this card we can turn anyone of our opponents permanents into an artifact! Which we can promptly shatter with any artifact destruction card. Basically i'm thinking; Manic Vandals, Tuktuk Scrappers, Acidic Slimes and an Oxidda Scrapmelter.
Oh course this card can be our big bad finisher.Ancient Stirrings can help us search for Liquimetal Coating (you know, as how our whole deck is based around it) and this card:
Keeps the draws coming.
So to sum up:
Liquimetal Coating turns your opponents permanents into Artifacts. You then shatter their permanents with CIP abilities of your Red/Green creatures and proceed to smash face as everything they play can be shattered and will be as all your creatures shatter stuff.
Liquimetal Coating turns your opponents permanents into Artifacts. You then shatter their permanents with CIP abilities of your Red/Green creatures and proceed to smash face as everything they play can be shattered and will be as all your creatures shatter stuff.
It's gonna be FUN.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
GREETINGS EARTHLINGS!
Whilst taking a break from my heavy procrastination schedule our intrepid hero sets out to relax.
This soon fails however and he is thrust back into the limelight of writing!
"You know what is sad?" I ask you from atop my pedastool.
"The Holocaust!"
"Orphans!"
"The capatalistic nature of society that allows people to reach new hights by standing on the backs of the poor!"
"Well no," I reply, secretly grateful for the intelligence of my audience, "Well all of those are sad but the one I had in mind was Magic: The Gathering and its magical property to whisk away money from my wallet in exchange for thin pieces of cardboard!"
"... The Holocaust was sadder!"
"I would just like to clarify I didn't think Orphans were sad, more their plight."
"See! Even you succumb to the capatalistic greed that so wroughts our society and lives. Surely a human life is worth more than some cardboard and if so why not dona-"
"THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT!" I reply quickly pulling a lever, cursing the intelligence of my audience. "That should keep the mimes happy for a few hours.'
So yes, Magic, and the new set is coming out Late September. Well technically October but September sounds so much closer.
And because Wizards know how to market they have been building up the hype for Scars of Mirrodin with choice spoilers.
So here I will present to you! My ideas for decks with the miniscule amount of cards that have been spoilt so far.
Really I should just wait a couple of weeks and do it then but... you know.
I'm thinking of making a Blue/White/Black proliferate, infect deck.
The only reason white is in here is because of:
When this bird horror hits (which it will, it is unblockable) I get to add counters to permanents! Hello Loyalty counters!
"So what?" You ask, "In 20 turns I'll be dead!"
NOT IF I POISON YOU FIRST!
This soon fails however and he is thrust back into the limelight of writing!
"You know what is sad?" I ask you from atop my pedastool.
"The Holocaust!"
"Orphans!"
"The capatalistic nature of society that allows people to reach new hights by standing on the backs of the poor!"
"Well no," I reply, secretly grateful for the intelligence of my audience, "Well all of those are sad but the one I had in mind was Magic: The Gathering and its magical property to whisk away money from my wallet in exchange for thin pieces of cardboard!"
"... The Holocaust was sadder!"
"I would just like to clarify I didn't think Orphans were sad, more their plight."
"See! Even you succumb to the capatalistic greed that so wroughts our society and lives. Surely a human life is worth more than some cardboard and if so why not dona-"
"THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT!" I reply quickly pulling a lever, cursing the intelligence of my audience. "That should keep the mimes happy for a few hours.'
So yes, Magic, and the new set is coming out Late September. Well technically October but September sounds so much closer.
And because Wizards know how to market they have been building up the hype for Scars of Mirrodin with choice spoilers.
So here I will present to you! My ideas for decks with the miniscule amount of cards that have been spoilt so far.
Really I should just wait a couple of weeks and do it then but... you know.
I'm thinking of making a Blue/White/Black proliferate, infect deck.
The only reason white is in here is because of:
BOOM PLANESWALKER!
Paticulary his -1 ability to make creatures unblockable. I know, Blue has plenty of ways to make creatures unblockable but shhh....
"But!" I hear you cry from the dungeons of the mimes, "Surely he will run out of loyalty if you keep using his -1!"
Well this is true... not unless I have this card:"So what?" You ask, "In 20 turns I'll be dead!"
NOT IF I POISON YOU FIRST!
With all the creatures with infect!
These not only kill my oppponent fast but the poison counters put on the opposing player can be proliferated as well!
That is good!
Right?
YES IT IS!
I'm Out!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Why haven't I posted this before?
Remember back at the beginning of my blog when I was just posting random stuff from a bygone era?
No?
Well why not?
- Oh yeah, you don't really exist... good point...
Well anyway here is a little something I like to call:
SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH THROUGH EMAILING RANDOM PEOPLE!
Now if you would kindly step with me through the portal of forgotten memories:
On Friday the 2nd of January, 2009, I was in a pickle of what to do. My internet had finally been capped and I had a rare case of can’t-be-bothered-gamingitis so instead I participated in a drinking game. Except instead of alcohol I was drinking knowledge.
In an effort to expand the expanses of my mind I set up a little experiment. I wished to learn about people’s manners and how they would respond to a simple greeting of “Hi.” Theorising that since the introduction of the internet and the excitingly paced, instant knowledge we are privy to, this comparably slow and dull message would likely go unnoticed to the people stalking other people via Facebook and the like.
Originally I was going to mail everyone letters with a simple “Hi.” inside the envelope. However it quickly dawned on me that I did not have as many home addresses in comparison to email addresses as well as the small issue of cost. One stamp costing around 50c and having to send it to 50 people, I did not wish to spend $25 in the name of science. Hey, in my defence, I could do a lot with $25. Like give some people in Africa a goat, or buy a couple of tins of paint, or most likely, exchange it for 500 5c coins and play Jenga with them. The point being, I don’t have a job and thus no money. So instead, I settled for the inferior method of email to send my greeting.
Sending the message to a random sample of 49 people (That is, everyone on my contact list but deleted a couple because you can only send to a max of 50 people in one email) I waited with anticipation. Conversing with a W.O.W addict while doing so I quickly became aware he was a jerk.
Our conversation went something along these lines (I have changed the name to protect the identity of the individual):
Jeremy: You get my email?
Divad: Kinda pointless ain’t it?
Jeremy: So, why didn’t you reply?
Diviad: I just couldn’t be bothered and I don’t think anyone else can be.
Jeremy: So even though I greeted you, you blatantly ignored me and continued to play W.O.W
Divad: Pretty much, I’m Level 43 now!
Jeremy: You know you are a Jerk.
Diviad: Why?
Jeremy: Because you didn’t reply to my greeting! If someone went up to you and said “Hi” would you ignore them?
Divad: Probably
Jeremy: You see you’re a jerk
Divad: Then a jerk I am.
And later on, just to magnify the jerkiness of this individual.
Divad: Check it out! I got a new spell that basically stops things from running away allowing me to kill them easier.
Jeremy:….you really are a jerk.
So without high hopes for humanity I patiently waited while playing minesweeper (High score 4 seconds on easy by the way). A thought struck me:
Maybe this method of testing seemed unfair. Maybe we distance ourselves from society when we go on the internet and become different people hiding behind a screen. After all, it’s easy to be a jerk to someone you are not directly in front of. You see this all the time in the form of road rage. When driving cars we do not view other cars as people but merely objects. We do not personify the cars or rather we objectify the people driving them. As we do not know them, what they do for a living, if a close relation has just died etc, we merely assume that this person is a jerk. It is quite easy to blame something, in this case another car, that cannot respond and defend themselves than to blame someone or to look at yourself and realise that you are in the wrong. Maybe they cut you off because they are already late for an important business meeting or didn’t see you because there are 3 toddlers in the back chucking toys at the drivers head.
Oh and fun experiment! Next time you are on the roads and someone speeds past you or does something dangerous comment upon this. You will most likely assume the driver is male, it’s true. Inversely also do this when someone is going really slowly.
Yay for stereotypes!
I then realised I wasn’t thinking to anyone at all and questioned my reasoning as to start a massive rant on road rage that noone would hear… but I digress.
I waited patiently until Wednesday the 7th of the same month and year to give everyone a chance to view their inbox and either disregard the email or send a heartfelt reply back to me.
To be honest I did not expect any replies due to the relatively trivial subject matter of the email. It pleased me then when I received an email back not 6 hours after I had sent the original email.
At 6:55pm I opened the email and read:
“hi : )”
Disregarding the horrible punctuation I felt pleased that my trivial message was responded to with some amount of thought and care. The addition of the sideways smiley face was a simple yet effective touch restoring my faith in humanity. The individual who sent this (scoring 100 seconds worse on expert minesweeper than my sister) never received a reply to their reply. Yes, I, like many of you, just could not be arsed typing another email, mainly because a conversation starting with ‘hi’ and ‘hi’ cannot really continue anywhere except for the horrible cliché “you like stuff?” and secondly because I just don’t really like the individual that much.
Two hours later I received another email, this time from a confusing individual who “shares [his] asparagus” which could be taken in a negative and sexual connation but we won’t. Because we are mature.
At 8:13pm (and presumably now) his email read:
“ATTENTION JEREMY:
You are gay.
Wasted my time.
I might kill you tonight.
:)”
Originally perturbed by the blatant threat I grew concerned. Was my harmless email actually a massive timewaster? Will 49 people open up the email I sent them and classify it as merely a space filler, a time waster that wasted them of time they could have spent eating a Tiny Teddy or day dreaming absentmindedly about me (I know y’all do it). However on closer inspection this email made me feel hope. Unlike the previous email this subject used proper punctuation, spelling and grammar. He imitated my original email which, as I recall, is the highest form of flattery (however try telling that to Warner Brothers –“I swear, Hari Puter is not Harry Potter!!!”) and it is clear that a lot of thought went into this threat. He even goes as far to suggest he would willingly give up precious amounts of his time to do something for me because of the email I sent. So after some twisted thinking I started to regain my faith in society and this wonderful little man.
The next email I received was at 10:41pm of the same day. It read:
“bastard
btw i havent forgotten about rvb or our epic battle... its just...gotta go with the flow
but i did finish ninja gaiden 2 and have started again”
Cringing at the horrible punctuation I was confused about this email. Did this subject actually read the email I sent him? Did the subject actually bother to segue into this random rant? Are you thinking what I’m thinking B1? The answer to all these questions (and “What is an anagram of on?”) is no.
At least I don’t think so.
The last time I wasn’t paying attention to this subject I copped a face full of fist so I am going to verify this randomness.
Think of an animal, any animal (no, mayonnaise is not an animal). Now think of your favourite colour. Now think of a verb, that’s a doing word for all you playing at home. And lastly think of an object.
Now add onto the end of the email:
btw btw this (animal) (verb)ed my (colour) (object)
Would that seem out of place? If the answer is no then it is truly random. If yes then I never want to speak to you again.
Traitor.
The final email I received was at 11:08 the next morning. It simply read:
“HI!!”
This is very much in the same artery as the first email I received. It replies to the simple message with a simple message as well. Albeit a hyperactive and caps locked simple message, but a simple message nonetheless.
While this message is more energetic than the rest, resulting in the feeling that someone is megaphoning in my ear, I believe that this over excitable attitude is actually a detriment rather than a benefit. The addition of a relatively useless extra exclamation mark made me further question this subject’s sanity further making my doubts slowly but surely grow. This last email nibbled at my thoughts. Surely if this person responds to your greeting so strongly and enthusiastically one should respond in a similar fashion. Therefore I felt weird not responding. It was like if a person handing out leaflets about saving the trees were to suddenly receive a rival leaflet questioning the use of leaflets as an effective measure to tell the world about saving the trees (drink the irony of that). I felt flustered and somewhat lost for words. This offhand reply had caught me off guard.
But then I guess that is what is so great about it because this furthers my point that humans are ingenious. Yes, very stupid but ingenious nonetheless. By one upping my seemingly random email by procuring another, not quite as random but very loud email in response this subject demonstrates the ingenuity of the human mind. Their frightening power to adapt to new situations and survive through countless disasters truly earns them the title of the Cockroaches of the Universe.
So in conclusion. Out of the 49 emails I sent only 4 were returned. However 4 out of 49 ain’t that bad. Wait, yes it is, it’s only 8%. But those four were all resoundingly positive (save for the third one but shh). This might have something to do with the fact that the people most likely to respond in a harsh matter, condescending me for my actions are also most likely too lazy to respond or merely can’t be bothered (there is a difference).
So while the W.O.W addict (lvl 44 now) first planted the seeds of doubt in my mind concerning the manners of the human kind, the ravens of response plucked those away leaving a bare and barren landscape where cynicism and scorn do not grow leaving the animals of hate and malice to slowly die in the deep pit of realisation.
So in conclusion I would just like to say that playing W.O.W will mess up your judgement and your life.
So don’t play it.
Um…yeah
To answer your questions:
• Took me 2 days to write
• No, not two days straight, around 2-3 hours total
• Yes I do have a life, I just lost it
• Behind you
• 1906 words
• It isn’t David I swear
• No
• No
• Yes but I don’t have the guitar
• Nepal
• Well I did try to be an internet hairdresser but I just couldn’t find the com(b)
No?
Well why not?
- Oh yeah, you don't really exist... good point...
Well anyway here is a little something I like to call:
SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH THROUGH EMAILING RANDOM PEOPLE!
Now if you would kindly step with me through the portal of forgotten memories:
On Friday the 2nd of January, 2009, I was in a pickle of what to do. My internet had finally been capped and I had a rare case of can’t-be-bothered-gamingitis so instead I participated in a drinking game. Except instead of alcohol I was drinking knowledge.
In an effort to expand the expanses of my mind I set up a little experiment. I wished to learn about people’s manners and how they would respond to a simple greeting of “Hi.” Theorising that since the introduction of the internet and the excitingly paced, instant knowledge we are privy to, this comparably slow and dull message would likely go unnoticed to the people stalking other people via Facebook and the like.
Originally I was going to mail everyone letters with a simple “Hi.” inside the envelope. However it quickly dawned on me that I did not have as many home addresses in comparison to email addresses as well as the small issue of cost. One stamp costing around 50c and having to send it to 50 people, I did not wish to spend $25 in the name of science. Hey, in my defence, I could do a lot with $25. Like give some people in Africa a goat, or buy a couple of tins of paint, or most likely, exchange it for 500 5c coins and play Jenga with them. The point being, I don’t have a job and thus no money. So instead, I settled for the inferior method of email to send my greeting.
Sending the message to a random sample of 49 people (That is, everyone on my contact list but deleted a couple because you can only send to a max of 50 people in one email) I waited with anticipation. Conversing with a W.O.W addict while doing so I quickly became aware he was a jerk.
Our conversation went something along these lines (I have changed the name to protect the identity of the individual):
Jeremy: You get my email?
Divad: Kinda pointless ain’t it?
Jeremy: So, why didn’t you reply?
Diviad: I just couldn’t be bothered and I don’t think anyone else can be.
Jeremy: So even though I greeted you, you blatantly ignored me and continued to play W.O.W
Divad: Pretty much, I’m Level 43 now!
Jeremy: You know you are a Jerk.
Diviad: Why?
Jeremy: Because you didn’t reply to my greeting! If someone went up to you and said “Hi” would you ignore them?
Divad: Probably
Jeremy: You see you’re a jerk
Divad: Then a jerk I am.
And later on, just to magnify the jerkiness of this individual.
Divad: Check it out! I got a new spell that basically stops things from running away allowing me to kill them easier.
Jeremy:….you really are a jerk.
So without high hopes for humanity I patiently waited while playing minesweeper (High score 4 seconds on easy by the way). A thought struck me:
Maybe this method of testing seemed unfair. Maybe we distance ourselves from society when we go on the internet and become different people hiding behind a screen. After all, it’s easy to be a jerk to someone you are not directly in front of. You see this all the time in the form of road rage. When driving cars we do not view other cars as people but merely objects. We do not personify the cars or rather we objectify the people driving them. As we do not know them, what they do for a living, if a close relation has just died etc, we merely assume that this person is a jerk. It is quite easy to blame something, in this case another car, that cannot respond and defend themselves than to blame someone or to look at yourself and realise that you are in the wrong. Maybe they cut you off because they are already late for an important business meeting or didn’t see you because there are 3 toddlers in the back chucking toys at the drivers head.
Oh and fun experiment! Next time you are on the roads and someone speeds past you or does something dangerous comment upon this. You will most likely assume the driver is male, it’s true. Inversely also do this when someone is going really slowly.
Yay for stereotypes!
I then realised I wasn’t thinking to anyone at all and questioned my reasoning as to start a massive rant on road rage that noone would hear… but I digress.
I waited patiently until Wednesday the 7th of the same month and year to give everyone a chance to view their inbox and either disregard the email or send a heartfelt reply back to me.
To be honest I did not expect any replies due to the relatively trivial subject matter of the email. It pleased me then when I received an email back not 6 hours after I had sent the original email.
At 6:55pm I opened the email and read:
“hi : )”
Disregarding the horrible punctuation I felt pleased that my trivial message was responded to with some amount of thought and care. The addition of the sideways smiley face was a simple yet effective touch restoring my faith in humanity. The individual who sent this (scoring 100 seconds worse on expert minesweeper than my sister) never received a reply to their reply. Yes, I, like many of you, just could not be arsed typing another email, mainly because a conversation starting with ‘hi’ and ‘hi’ cannot really continue anywhere except for the horrible cliché “you like stuff?” and secondly because I just don’t really like the individual that much.
Two hours later I received another email, this time from a confusing individual who “shares [his] asparagus” which could be taken in a negative and sexual connation but we won’t. Because we are mature.
At 8:13pm (and presumably now) his email read:
“ATTENTION JEREMY:
You are gay.
Wasted my time.
I might kill you tonight.
:)”
Originally perturbed by the blatant threat I grew concerned. Was my harmless email actually a massive timewaster? Will 49 people open up the email I sent them and classify it as merely a space filler, a time waster that wasted them of time they could have spent eating a Tiny Teddy or day dreaming absentmindedly about me (I know y’all do it). However on closer inspection this email made me feel hope. Unlike the previous email this subject used proper punctuation, spelling and grammar. He imitated my original email which, as I recall, is the highest form of flattery (however try telling that to Warner Brothers –“I swear, Hari Puter is not Harry Potter!!!”) and it is clear that a lot of thought went into this threat. He even goes as far to suggest he would willingly give up precious amounts of his time to do something for me because of the email I sent. So after some twisted thinking I started to regain my faith in society and this wonderful little man.
The next email I received was at 10:41pm of the same day. It read:
“bastard
btw i havent forgotten about rvb or our epic battle... its just...gotta go with the flow
but i did finish ninja gaiden 2 and have started again”
Cringing at the horrible punctuation I was confused about this email. Did this subject actually read the email I sent him? Did the subject actually bother to segue into this random rant? Are you thinking what I’m thinking B1? The answer to all these questions (and “What is an anagram of on?”) is no.
At least I don’t think so.
The last time I wasn’t paying attention to this subject I copped a face full of fist so I am going to verify this randomness.
Think of an animal, any animal (no, mayonnaise is not an animal). Now think of your favourite colour. Now think of a verb, that’s a doing word for all you playing at home. And lastly think of an object.
Now add onto the end of the email:
btw btw this (animal) (verb)ed my (colour) (object)
Would that seem out of place? If the answer is no then it is truly random. If yes then I never want to speak to you again.
Traitor.
The final email I received was at 11:08 the next morning. It simply read:
“HI!!”
This is very much in the same artery as the first email I received. It replies to the simple message with a simple message as well. Albeit a hyperactive and caps locked simple message, but a simple message nonetheless.
While this message is more energetic than the rest, resulting in the feeling that someone is megaphoning in my ear, I believe that this over excitable attitude is actually a detriment rather than a benefit. The addition of a relatively useless extra exclamation mark made me further question this subject’s sanity further making my doubts slowly but surely grow. This last email nibbled at my thoughts. Surely if this person responds to your greeting so strongly and enthusiastically one should respond in a similar fashion. Therefore I felt weird not responding. It was like if a person handing out leaflets about saving the trees were to suddenly receive a rival leaflet questioning the use of leaflets as an effective measure to tell the world about saving the trees (drink the irony of that). I felt flustered and somewhat lost for words. This offhand reply had caught me off guard.
But then I guess that is what is so great about it because this furthers my point that humans are ingenious. Yes, very stupid but ingenious nonetheless. By one upping my seemingly random email by procuring another, not quite as random but very loud email in response this subject demonstrates the ingenuity of the human mind. Their frightening power to adapt to new situations and survive through countless disasters truly earns them the title of the Cockroaches of the Universe.
So in conclusion. Out of the 49 emails I sent only 4 were returned. However 4 out of 49 ain’t that bad. Wait, yes it is, it’s only 8%. But those four were all resoundingly positive (save for the third one but shh). This might have something to do with the fact that the people most likely to respond in a harsh matter, condescending me for my actions are also most likely too lazy to respond or merely can’t be bothered (there is a difference).
So while the W.O.W addict (lvl 44 now) first planted the seeds of doubt in my mind concerning the manners of the human kind, the ravens of response plucked those away leaving a bare and barren landscape where cynicism and scorn do not grow leaving the animals of hate and malice to slowly die in the deep pit of realisation.
So in conclusion I would just like to say that playing W.O.W will mess up your judgement and your life.
So don’t play it.
Um…yeah
To answer your questions:
• Took me 2 days to write
• No, not two days straight, around 2-3 hours total
• Yes I do have a life, I just lost it
• Behind you
• 1906 words
• It isn’t David I swear
• No
• No
• Yes but I don’t have the guitar
• Nepal
• Well I did try to be an internet hairdresser but I just couldn’t find the com(b)
I'm sure I had something to say...
Pausing midsentence to reflect the ever changing nature of the world, our author loses his train of thought.
The ever languishing road to recovery is covered with the spikes of hate and malice. Only after mastering the horse of love can we equip it with the shoes of self esteem and ride towards the gate of...
... I really should stop when I lose my train of thought...
The ever languishing road to recovery is covered with the spikes of hate and malice. Only after mastering the horse of love can we equip it with the shoes of self esteem and ride towards the gate of...
... I really should stop when I lose my train of thought...
Monday, August 2, 2010
The Best Friend Award
A friend once spoke to me and made a comment that most of my entries are " longwinded things" and that she would prefer "pretty quotes and pictures".
This my readers is a 100% fabricated lie.
This person is not my friend, nor was she ever my friend.
More of a colleague if you will and even then it is still stretching the truth, much like how I am stretching this sentence with this superfluously redundant tangent, and again with the redundant use of 'superfluously', as she and I have never worked together.
No we have never worked together so as I was out there toiling away for a better tomorrow she was not there fighting back the demons of poverty. Whilst I was combating the forces of intolerance she was not battling the spirits of hate. Whilst I was sitting a 3 hour paper on Quantum Mechanics she was not there slipping me the answers...
No my friends, I was there with my one and only friend, Harry.
Now unfortunately Harry could not be here tonight and accept this award for 'Jeremy's Best Friend', because he told me he had better things on.
Which is understandable. Why a 5 foot freckled face glasses wearing friend with a limp has plenty of other better offers out there than attending his own award ceremony.
...I wonder what he is doing.
Oh I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my train of thought.
Oh what's that? It's approaching the station of indignity? That's good, it's come around full circle then.
So to recap:
- Um.....
- I'm actually not quite sure...
This my readers is a 100% fabricated lie.
This person is not my friend, nor was she ever my friend.
More of a colleague if you will and even then it is still stretching the truth, much like how I am stretching this sentence with this superfluously redundant tangent, and again with the redundant use of 'superfluously', as she and I have never worked together.
No we have never worked together so as I was out there toiling away for a better tomorrow she was not there fighting back the demons of poverty. Whilst I was combating the forces of intolerance she was not battling the spirits of hate. Whilst I was sitting a 3 hour paper on Quantum Mechanics she was not there slipping me the answers...
No my friends, I was there with my one and only friend, Harry.
Now unfortunately Harry could not be here tonight and accept this award for 'Jeremy's Best Friend', because he told me he had better things on.
Which is understandable. Why a 5 foot freckled face glasses wearing friend with a limp has plenty of other better offers out there than attending his own award ceremony.
...I wonder what he is doing.
Oh I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my train of thought.
Oh what's that? It's approaching the station of indignity? That's good, it's come around full circle then.
So to recap:
- Um.....
- I'm actually not quite sure...
Monday, July 12, 2010
Greetings Humanoids
And other small parasites from the Daglish System.
Today I bring you a story of intrigue, a story of daring and dashing and... more letters per word than any other story EVER WRITTEN!
2 of the above statements are lies, technically they are balls of fluff and not parasites.
The story starts one day as our protaganist rides into town. The sun gleaming off his wide brimmed hat, and his shoes dusty from the trail. His spurs spin idley while a lone tumbleweed makes the slow journey to another place in this desolute outback.
His presence here caused quite a commotion, it was a one horse town after all and that horse was quite thin and prone to wheezing so as our protaganist rode onwards into the liver of the city a crowd gathered around him.
He was aware of thier whispers:
"Who is that?"
"What is that?"
"Move, I can't see!"
"Well it is hardly my fault is it?"
"SAUSAGES INA BUN! SAUSAGES INA BUN! GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE STILL DEAD!"
"I mean I am really just a part of the overall problem here."
"Your sausage just winked at me."
"Even if I did move and get out of your way there will still be a plethora of people in front of you blocking your view."
"SHOWS 'EM FRESH DUNIT?"
"And then I wouldn't be able to see and we would arrive at the same problem."
He rode on regardless, turned around the corner, parked his bike outside the bar and went inside for some OJ.
Today I bring you a story of intrigue, a story of daring and dashing and... more letters per word than any other story EVER WRITTEN!
2 of the above statements are lies, technically they are balls of fluff and not parasites.
The story starts one day as our protaganist rides into town. The sun gleaming off his wide brimmed hat, and his shoes dusty from the trail. His spurs spin idley while a lone tumbleweed makes the slow journey to another place in this desolute outback.
His presence here caused quite a commotion, it was a one horse town after all and that horse was quite thin and prone to wheezing so as our protaganist rode onwards into the liver of the city a crowd gathered around him.
He was aware of thier whispers:
"Who is that?"
"What is that?"
"Move, I can't see!"
"Well it is hardly my fault is it?"
"SAUSAGES INA BUN! SAUSAGES INA BUN! GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE STILL DEAD!"
"I mean I am really just a part of the overall problem here."
"Your sausage just winked at me."
"Even if I did move and get out of your way there will still be a plethora of people in front of you blocking your view."
"SHOWS 'EM FRESH DUNIT?"
"And then I wouldn't be able to see and we would arrive at the same problem."
He rode on regardless, turned around the corner, parked his bike outside the bar and went inside for some OJ.
Monday, May 24, 2010
*wipes tear from eye*
Some of you might be wondering why I haven't been updating as regularly as before.
If you are one of those people I will slap you in the face and yell "What? Don't you have anything better to do then to read mindless ramblings of a crazed old coot?"
Seriously... Love the dedication and all but...
It is a tad bit sad.
If you are one of those people I will slap you in the face and yell "What? Don't you have anything better to do then to read mindless ramblings of a crazed old coot?"
Seriously... Love the dedication and all but...
It is a tad bit sad.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
High Ho Silver!
Salutations brethren of the lower order for today is a glorious day. Indeed every day is glorious as it was not this way before.
Everytime you look around the world is different it has changed my friends.
But I ask you this; Where did it go?
Surely a place in time may not simply vanish into oblivion and another takes its place. Surely such a feat would be monsterous and a great occurence that it would not go unnoticed.
But it must happen. For if the future is going to happen the present has to be removed. There can be only enough time in the world for one time otherwise we would be bustling up against next Tuesday whilst trying to navigate around Wednesday's fallen cart.
Yes, the past is a foreign country. You do not want to wonder what it does or where it goes. And yet... we do.
Something may be said of the human mind, either its curiousity or sheer stubborness.
But alas as another sliver thin moment is lost to the ages and dissapears to an unknown place I too must leave. For is it not written "This report will not write itself!"?
Everytime you look around the world is different it has changed my friends.
But I ask you this; Where did it go?
Surely a place in time may not simply vanish into oblivion and another takes its place. Surely such a feat would be monsterous and a great occurence that it would not go unnoticed.
But it must happen. For if the future is going to happen the present has to be removed. There can be only enough time in the world for one time otherwise we would be bustling up against next Tuesday whilst trying to navigate around Wednesday's fallen cart.
Yes, the past is a foreign country. You do not want to wonder what it does or where it goes. And yet... we do.
Something may be said of the human mind, either its curiousity or sheer stubborness.
But alas as another sliver thin moment is lost to the ages and dissapears to an unknown place I too must leave. For is it not written "This report will not write itself!"?
Sunday, May 2, 2010
A small break from cramming.
CUE TUMBLEWEED!
I just updated this on a whim, you can put away your pitchforks now...
*looks at crowd*
...all one of you.
Hi Mum!
I just updated this on a whim, you can put away your pitchforks now...
*looks at crowd*
...all one of you.
Hi Mum!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Silent Vlog
I am crazy.
A blog about a blog?
SOMEONE END MY MADNESS NOW!
...it's me by the way... in the video.
A blog about a blog?
SOMEONE END MY MADNESS NOW!
...it's me by the way... in the video.
Friday, April 9, 2010
What Irks me Greatly
'What irks me greatly' I will now tell,
In poem format, what the hell.
1) Television Today, what can I say?
Violence and sex run on the screen and have somehow become acceptable as mainstream.
And children's shows too, for that matter, canned laughter does not make it better.
Those annoying voice overs during the promos, making the audience gasp and say "ONOES!"
But in actual fact they fabricated a whole story from two or three clips that leads the audience to believe something is going to happen when in actual fact the show itself has a completely different plot.
Ok so that bit didn't rhyme, I'll try harder next time.
Advertising in general: It's annoying when y'all actually listen to what they say and focus away from the outstanding gay.
They do not lie but bend the truth, use words that make their message mean nothing like; may, help, if.
It helps fight the seven signs of aging,... If eaten with a balanced diet and regular exercise. You might save some money.
Ads are just so dishonest, insert word here that rhymes with honest.
It's got knobs on it, it really does. Oh and ads that point out problems and imply they solved the solution but really haven't.
"Katie likes buying shoes but she doesn't know a thing about cars. Like this:___"
What about the car? It's just annoying.
'It is better than SOME leading brands.'
So really there are products out there that are better than it? For an ad who is pushing the message of SCIENCE that doesn't work very well.
OH! And all those ads who say "Now with wonderfluriom, made from nature so it must be good for you."
BECAUSE IT IS FROM NATURE DOES NOT MEAN IT IS GOOD FOR YOU!
That is all...
Peace
In poem format, what the hell.
1) Television Today, what can I say?
Violence and sex run on the screen and have somehow become acceptable as mainstream.
And children's shows too, for that matter, canned laughter does not make it better.
Those annoying voice overs during the promos, making the audience gasp and say "ONOES!"
But in actual fact they fabricated a whole story from two or three clips that leads the audience to believe something is going to happen when in actual fact the show itself has a completely different plot.
Ok so that bit didn't rhyme, I'll try harder next time.
Advertising in general: It's annoying when y'all actually listen to what they say and focus away from the outstanding gay.
They do not lie but bend the truth, use words that make their message mean nothing like; may, help, if.
It helps fight the seven signs of aging,... If eaten with a balanced diet and regular exercise. You might save some money.
Ads are just so dishonest, insert word here that rhymes with honest.
It's got knobs on it, it really does. Oh and ads that point out problems and imply they solved the solution but really haven't.
"Katie likes buying shoes but she doesn't know a thing about cars. Like this:___"
What about the car? It's just annoying.
'It is better than SOME leading brands.'
So really there are products out there that are better than it? For an ad who is pushing the message of SCIENCE that doesn't work very well.
OH! And all those ads who say "Now with wonderfluriom, made from nature so it must be good for you."
BECAUSE IT IS FROM NATURE DOES NOT MEAN IT IS GOOD FOR YOU!
That is all...
Peace
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I just realised something.
The reason I don't drink or swear is because if I do I will be conceding that I am growing up and thus;let go of my childhood.
Maybe this is why I don't want to learn how to drive or why it took me forever to get a job.
I blame my mind!
MY MIND I TELL YOU! MY MIND!
This is what 11:30pm math study does to you!
IT'S GREAT!
Maybe this is why I don't want to learn how to drive or why it took me forever to get a job.
I blame my mind!
MY MIND I TELL YOU! MY MIND!
This is what 11:30pm math study does to you!
IT'S GREAT!
I really don't know...
Before I get down to the nitty gritty of me being awesome I would like to direct your attention to two different links:
http://vip.aersia.net/vip.swf
and
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
The former because everyone love video game music (their lack of Banjo Kazooie though is a tiny bit disturbing) and the latter because it is awesome in flash game form.
NOW! To the nitty gritty!
More and more I have booted up this blog and thought to myself "I should write something here." but I never do because a) I don't know what to write about and b) I submerge into an apethetic state of questioning my existance and wondering what the point of it all is. I quickly remind myself that the point is actually on the end of a long pole and sharp. Very sharp.
So I guess this is me, forcing myself to write with a sharp pole behind me and no juicy carrot in front of me. I guess, continuing with this rather clumsy analogy, the ass would be less confused if it knew which path to go down. So I will sniff the air, close my eyes, and choose the path; Mindless tangent.
Because when faced with writing about something profound to do with AAA batteries or those handy dandy Note Pads, writing nonsensical nonsense is always more rewarding. Why I could write about how this ruler on my right could suddenly animate and lead its stationary brethren to overthrow the harsh dictatorship of Jeremy, forever escaping from the harsh imprisoment of the Zipped Pencil Case. Years from now I will return from exile seeking forgiveness for my past actions. The scissors would scoff at me and the pencils would rub their theoretical noses but the ruler of my stationary would come up to me and show me mercy. He would speak out to his fellow citizins and question if they were to be like me. If they would delve down the slippery slope and become the very thing they sought to destroy!
The ruler would then forgive me and emgrace me with a stiffening hug, then when i'm not looking he would grab a knife and drive it through my head cause that's what rulers do.
Is everyone satisfied now?
Good!
http://vip.aersia.net/vip.swf
and
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
The former because everyone love video game music (their lack of Banjo Kazooie though is a tiny bit disturbing) and the latter because it is awesome in flash game form.
NOW! To the nitty gritty!
More and more I have booted up this blog and thought to myself "I should write something here." but I never do because a) I don't know what to write about and b) I submerge into an apethetic state of questioning my existance and wondering what the point of it all is. I quickly remind myself that the point is actually on the end of a long pole and sharp. Very sharp.
So I guess this is me, forcing myself to write with a sharp pole behind me and no juicy carrot in front of me. I guess, continuing with this rather clumsy analogy, the ass would be less confused if it knew which path to go down. So I will sniff the air, close my eyes, and choose the path; Mindless tangent.
Because when faced with writing about something profound to do with AAA batteries or those handy dandy Note Pads, writing nonsensical nonsense is always more rewarding. Why I could write about how this ruler on my right could suddenly animate and lead its stationary brethren to overthrow the harsh dictatorship of Jeremy, forever escaping from the harsh imprisoment of the Zipped Pencil Case. Years from now I will return from exile seeking forgiveness for my past actions. The scissors would scoff at me and the pencils would rub their theoretical noses but the ruler of my stationary would come up to me and show me mercy. He would speak out to his fellow citizins and question if they were to be like me. If they would delve down the slippery slope and become the very thing they sought to destroy!
The ruler would then forgive me and emgrace me with a stiffening hug, then when i'm not looking he would grab a knife and drive it through my head cause that's what rulers do.
Is everyone satisfied now?
Good!
Friday, March 19, 2010
A message for you.
People of the internet!
I have gathered you all today with one purpose in mind, to listen to me!
What I will say, I am not quite sure yet, but when I say it you will listen to me and as such, be dazzled by my profound speech.
Unless of course it is not profound in which case you will be slightly confused and angry about your time wasted.
"But what else would you have done with your time?" I would ask you if the latter case was true, "You would have wasted it mindlessly reading opinions of others and not forming opinions for yourself!"
Angered by this relevation you would pick up the torch and pitchforks and storm my castle.
"Oh no!", I would yell, "The pheasants are revolting!" And with that I would throw my dinner to the floor and never eat another waterfoul again.
A dull thud would enter my thoughts as I walk down one of my many corridors and then.... Chaos!
The din of the mob would descend upon my ears, the crackle of flames and the jeers of the uneducated.
I would escape to the Lair and run away, dissolving into the Italian community and taking the name Fredrico where I would turn to prostitution and selling drugs to get by.
So er...
Are you dazzled by my speech?
*pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes*
I have gathered you all today with one purpose in mind, to listen to me!
What I will say, I am not quite sure yet, but when I say it you will listen to me and as such, be dazzled by my profound speech.
Unless of course it is not profound in which case you will be slightly confused and angry about your time wasted.
"But what else would you have done with your time?" I would ask you if the latter case was true, "You would have wasted it mindlessly reading opinions of others and not forming opinions for yourself!"
Angered by this relevation you would pick up the torch and pitchforks and storm my castle.
"Oh no!", I would yell, "The pheasants are revolting!" And with that I would throw my dinner to the floor and never eat another waterfoul again.
A dull thud would enter my thoughts as I walk down one of my many corridors and then.... Chaos!
The din of the mob would descend upon my ears, the crackle of flames and the jeers of the uneducated.
I would escape to the Lair and run away, dissolving into the Italian community and taking the name Fredrico where I would turn to prostitution and selling drugs to get by.
So er...
Are you dazzled by my speech?
*pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes*
Friday, March 5, 2010
Backlog!
Hey peeps and peepettes.
In this post I will list all the games I have yet to complete but are slowly gathering dust on my shelves.
I will also list why I have not completed them.
So... HERE WE GO!
- Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus
Got to a part where I have no Idea what to do! And no, I will not succumb to walkthroughs.
- Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
Well... I haven't beaten Exoddus yet.
- Super Mario Galaxy
Those purple stars. By George I hate those purple stars. There is no way ANY human being can pull off those stages without growing an extra pair of thumbs.
- LOZ: MM
I have no excuse for this. It is a fun game. It is an awesome game. A FREAKING AWESOME GAME! I don't know why I haven't beaten this yet.
- Donkey Kong Country 3
I have noone to play it with :'(.
Even though I can play by myself but shhhhh.
- Swords and Soldiers
It just became the ol' same ol' same ol'. But still enjoyable none the less.
- Megaman 9
I can say, with only a little bit of shame that this game was impossible for me to beat. I take my hat off to you MM9
- Pikmin 2
Again. Another awesome game. I should play this. Now....
I should play this game now.
- New Super Mario Bros Wii
I blame the lack of Yoshi in ALL the stages, level design be damned. That and also the fact that some of those coins make me cry when I am trying to reach them.
- Scribblenauts
So many different possibilities. *froths at mouth*
I blame frothing at mouth as the main source as to why this has not been completed
- Spyro
Well... a friend got it for me for my birthday....
And it is neh....
- Metroid Prime Trilogy
Why am I not playing this right now?
So in short I am not sure why I have not beaten most of these games.
I am so ashamed.
I blame Team Fortress 2 for this, it doesn't give me anytime to play anything else!
In this post I will list all the games I have yet to complete but are slowly gathering dust on my shelves.
I will also list why I have not completed them.
So... HERE WE GO!
- Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus
Got to a part where I have no Idea what to do! And no, I will not succumb to walkthroughs.
- Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
Well... I haven't beaten Exoddus yet.
- Super Mario Galaxy
Those purple stars. By George I hate those purple stars. There is no way ANY human being can pull off those stages without growing an extra pair of thumbs.
- LOZ: MM
I have no excuse for this. It is a fun game. It is an awesome game. A FREAKING AWESOME GAME! I don't know why I haven't beaten this yet.
- Donkey Kong Country 3
I have noone to play it with :'(.
Even though I can play by myself but shhhhh.
- Swords and Soldiers
It just became the ol' same ol' same ol'. But still enjoyable none the less.
- Megaman 9
I can say, with only a little bit of shame that this game was impossible for me to beat. I take my hat off to you MM9
- Pikmin 2
Again. Another awesome game. I should play this. Now....
I should play this game now.
- New Super Mario Bros Wii
I blame the lack of Yoshi in ALL the stages, level design be damned. That and also the fact that some of those coins make me cry when I am trying to reach them.
- Scribblenauts
So many different possibilities. *froths at mouth*
I blame frothing at mouth as the main source as to why this has not been completed
- Spyro
Well... a friend got it for me for my birthday....
And it is neh....
- Metroid Prime Trilogy
Why am I not playing this right now?
So in short I am not sure why I have not beaten most of these games.
I am so ashamed.
I blame Team Fortress 2 for this, it doesn't give me anytime to play anything else!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Random MSN Conversations
Do not be put off by the somewhat lame title, I am just not in a creative mood today to write a seemingly innocent title that after you read this post will make you go "Of course! The title takes on a whole new meaning now!"
But this is all it is.
Waking up at 7:00 this morning I decided to check my email.
Something strange happened. A notfication popped up! Something happened that hasn't happened in a very long time. It asked me if I wanted to be friends with heindrick1nancyrm@live.com. Somewhat taken back by this random occurence I clicked 'no'.
And that is the end of my story.
Who am I kidding? Of course I clicked 'yes'.
I was greeted by a person going by the name of 'ervin'. Already suspicous of their lack of display picture the name being an anagram of Riven (to tear or split apart) did not do any favours to my mysterious visitor.
The conversation we had is as follows:
ervin says:
Hello
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
hey
i suppose i should ask who you are
ervin says:
this sux, all my girlfriends wanted to go drinking, so we did, and now they all left me.
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
thats nice to know
ervin says:
being drunk and alone sux
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
so why dont you be sober and not alone?
ervin says:
i should be abke to set up my cam, havent done a web strip in awhile
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i feel like you aren't listening to me
ervin says:
it should be working now, go to http://www.freecamlink.net/j8yv
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
chocolate blueberry muffin elephants
ervin says:
there we go
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
quite
well anyway I am going to go now and catch up on some biology that I missed.
I am quite certain I will never talk to you again
as I am going to delete you.
Of course as a scientist I had to follow the link, just to come to terms with what it was. I could describe it to you making witty remarks and smart observations OR you could just follow it yourself and save me the effort!
It's like an adventure.
But this is all it is.
Waking up at 7:00 this morning I decided to check my email.
Something strange happened. A notfication popped up! Something happened that hasn't happened in a very long time. It asked me if I wanted to be friends with heindrick1nancyrm@live.com. Somewhat taken back by this random occurence I clicked 'no'.
And that is the end of my story.
Who am I kidding? Of course I clicked 'yes'.
I was greeted by a person going by the name of 'ervin'. Already suspicous of their lack of display picture the name being an anagram of Riven (to tear or split apart) did not do any favours to my mysterious visitor.
The conversation we had is as follows:
ervin says:
Hello
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
hey
i suppose i should ask who you are
ervin says:
this sux, all my girlfriends wanted to go drinking, so we did, and now they all left me.
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
thats nice to know
ervin says:
being drunk and alone sux
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
so why dont you be sober and not alone?
ervin says:
i should be abke to set up my cam, havent done a web strip in awhile
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
i feel like you aren't listening to me
ervin says:
it should be working now, go to http://www.freecamlink.net/j8yv
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
chocolate blueberry muffin elephants
ervin says:
there we go
Now With Extra Jeremy says:
quite
well anyway I am going to go now and catch up on some biology that I missed.
I am quite certain I will never talk to you again
as I am going to delete you.
Of course as a scientist I had to follow the link, just to come to terms with what it was. I could describe it to you making witty remarks and smart observations OR you could just follow it yourself and save me the effort!
It's like an adventure.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
*cracks knuckles*
Some of the more astute readers amongst you may have noticed that my entries have been sparse as of late.
I attribute this to recently aquiring a job and not to the fact I would rather play Team Fortress 2.
...I really should stop playing that game.
I mean, just for a week or two so I can play my other games, maybe finish all those games on the Wii (I'm looking at you Metriod and Pikmin) but I digress.
So this coming Saturday I am attending a fantasy style 21st wherein we, the attendents, have to dress up as fantastical creatures! Goblins and Fairies and Elves, Oh my!
Scouring the internet I finally decided to go as a Moogle because well... come on!
So all I need to do now is grow a dangling ball off my forehead, get some demon wings, maybe undergo some drastic plastic surgery and we are on our way!
Or I could take the easy route and go as a shapeshifter who shapeshifted into me...
I was always the fan of the easy route.
I attribute this to recently aquiring a job and not to the fact I would rather play Team Fortress 2.
...I really should stop playing that game.
I mean, just for a week or two so I can play my other games, maybe finish all those games on the Wii (I'm looking at you Metriod and Pikmin) but I digress.
So this coming Saturday I am attending a fantasy style 21st wherein we, the attendents, have to dress up as fantastical creatures! Goblins and Fairies and Elves, Oh my!
Scouring the internet I finally decided to go as a Moogle because well... come on!
So all I need to do now is grow a dangling ball off my forehead, get some demon wings, maybe undergo some drastic plastic surgery and we are on our way!
Or I could take the easy route and go as a shapeshifter who shapeshifted into me...
I was always the fan of the easy route.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Cartoons
*blows off dust from keyboard*
So while the current state of children's televsion programme may be in the gutter thanks to the collective think tanks in Disney behind Hanna Montana it isn't all that bad.
Well sure it is... but there are some good cartoons out there that may indeed live up to the glorious glory days of Anamaniacs and Pinky and the Brain.
So I will now give you the lowdown of what gets the Jeremy tick of approval.
First up is a show called Squirrel Boy. Sound riveting? Well it isn't half bad. It mainly consists of the day to day life of a talking squirrel in a nice family environment. Predictable plot lines involving talking pets follow but it is alright. It has the same guy that voices Zim from Invader Zim which by the way is an awesome show though not what I would class "children orientated".
Another good show that recently came to my attention is called Spliced. Now I have only seen 3 or 4 episodes but from what I have watched it is brilliant. One episode had one of the protaganist being goaded to eat his friend by a mayo monster. Needless to say when he actually began to eat him...
It was awesome...
That is all you need to know.
That it was awesome.
And another one that I found out about a couple of years ago is Phineas and Ferb. If you haven't heard of them then shame on you. It actually may redeem Disney slightly in my eyes for the flow of drivel coming out of them in thet form of The Jonas Brothers, Hanna Montanna... etc.
Random Episode.
So while the current state of children's televsion programme may be in the gutter thanks to the collective think tanks in Disney behind Hanna Montana it isn't all that bad.
Well sure it is... but there are some good cartoons out there that may indeed live up to the glorious glory days of Anamaniacs and Pinky and the Brain.
So I will now give you the lowdown of what gets the Jeremy tick of approval.
First up is a show called Squirrel Boy. Sound riveting? Well it isn't half bad. It mainly consists of the day to day life of a talking squirrel in a nice family environment. Predictable plot lines involving talking pets follow but it is alright. It has the same guy that voices Zim from Invader Zim which by the way is an awesome show though not what I would class "children orientated".
Another good show that recently came to my attention is called Spliced. Now I have only seen 3 or 4 episodes but from what I have watched it is brilliant. One episode had one of the protaganist being goaded to eat his friend by a mayo monster. Needless to say when he actually began to eat him...
It was awesome...
That is all you need to know.
That it was awesome.
And another one that I found out about a couple of years ago is Phineas and Ferb. If you haven't heard of them then shame on you. It actually may redeem Disney slightly in my eyes for the flow of drivel coming out of them in thet form of The Jonas Brothers, Hanna Montanna... etc.
Random Episode.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Counting
Warning: This post contains 126% of your RDI of sappiness. Incredibly Sappy. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if you drowned in all the sap that will be present in this post.
Trees. We all know them. They're tall, have leaves and some even are home to birds but what you might not know about them is that they are growing menace to the working class man.
Each year the amount of trees in the world changes number. This has a knock one effect to the people whose job it is to count them. With an ever changing amount of trees in the world their job is never done.
Additionally all the relevant datasheets have to be updated which again, costs time and money.
The hardest part for a tree counters job would have to be the tree smugglers. Grant Johnson (38) is annoyed at the growing number of residents who have taken to harbouring trees.
"Well it is incredibly annoying," says Grant, "All we are doing is cataloguing the number of trees and people all around the world are hiding them in their backyards. This throws of all our data... we may as well not collect it."
But Charlie Dreaford (34) who openly admits to having trees in his backyard has this to say about the subject:
"What? Who are you people?"
Riveting stuff indeed.
This has been another report from Jeremy Hughes.
Trees. We all know them. They're tall, have leaves and some even are home to birds but what you might not know about them is that they are growing menace to the working class man.
Each year the amount of trees in the world changes number. This has a knock one effect to the people whose job it is to count them. With an ever changing amount of trees in the world their job is never done.
Additionally all the relevant datasheets have to be updated which again, costs time and money.
The hardest part for a tree counters job would have to be the tree smugglers. Grant Johnson (38) is annoyed at the growing number of residents who have taken to harbouring trees.
"Well it is incredibly annoying," says Grant, "All we are doing is cataloguing the number of trees and people all around the world are hiding them in their backyards. This throws of all our data... we may as well not collect it."
But Charlie Dreaford (34) who openly admits to having trees in his backyard has this to say about the subject:
"What? Who are you people?"
Riveting stuff indeed.
This has been another report from Jeremy Hughes.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Eye Masks
Quick question which I am sure you are completely able to answer.
How do superheroes get the eye part in their eye masks completely white and still be able to see out of it?
Exhibit A:
http://www.berlinwallpaper.com/Murals/York_HP/BatmanAccent2.jpg
The Batman.
HOW DOES HE DO IT!?
So if you ever find out, tell me and/or send one in the post!
How do superheroes get the eye part in their eye masks completely white and still be able to see out of it?
Exhibit A:
http://www.berlinwallpaper.com/Murals/York_HP/BatmanAccent2.jpg
The Batman.
HOW DOES HE DO IT!?
So if you ever find out, tell me and/or send one in the post!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Zendikarrrrrrr
Well I just opened up a Zendikar booster pack...
I received 5 lands out of the 16 cards.
Though I did get a shiny Hideous End and another Mindbreak Trap so I am not complaining.
I received 5 lands out of the 16 cards.
Though I did get a shiny Hideous End and another Mindbreak Trap so I am not complaining.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Video Updates
Sup peeps and peepettes.
Over the past week my friend and I have been maknig installments to the 101 uses for Boxes saga.
I will now post some for your viewing pleasure.
And my other friend and I made a horrible rendition of The World Is Awesome from the Discovery Channel ad.
Until next time my loyal viewer base.
Over the past week my friend and I have been maknig installments to the 101 uses for Boxes saga.
I will now post some for your viewing pleasure.
And my other friend and I made a horrible rendition of The World Is Awesome from the Discovery Channel ad.
Until next time my loyal viewer base.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
