A message for you.

People of the internet!
I have gathered you all today with one purpose in mind, to listen to me!
What I will say, I am not quite sure yet, but when I say it you will listen to me and as such, be dazzled by my profound speech.
Unless of course it is not profound in which case you will be slightly confused and angry about your time wasted.
"But what else would you have done with your time?" I would ask you if the latter case was true, "You would have wasted it mindlessly reading opinions of others and not forming opinions for yourself!"
Angered by this relevation you would pick up the torch and pitchforks and storm my castle.
"Oh no!", I would yell, "The pheasants are revolting!" And with that I would throw my dinner to the floor and never eat another waterfoul again.
A dull thud would enter my thoughts as I walk down one of my many corridors and then.... Chaos!
The din of the mob would descend upon my ears, the crackle of flames and the jeers of the uneducated.
I would escape to the Lair and run away, dissolving into the Italian community and taking the name Fredrico where I would turn to prostitution and selling drugs to get by.


So er...
Are you dazzled by my speech?
*pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes*