Stalking

Hello everyone....again...some 10 minutes after I posted my first blog.
Here is another 'blog' that I completed sometime last year on the very serious topic of stalking. And believe me... there is nothing funny about stalking.


*snigger*

Anywho without further ado:

I am here to tell you all about the scary world of stalkers.
Unbeknowest to many and beknowest to a select few you, dear readers, are not safe.
They are everywhere. Watching you, absorbing little snippets of information and you, dear reader, are making their job so much more easier.
You and your need for networking puts your entire identity at peril. Your life is on the line when you sign up to sites such as Facebook or Myspace, or if you just log onto MSN.
It's an evil world out there and to demonstrate how easy it is to be stalked I will do some stalking of my own.

My victim, Ben.
I will start with MSN. Already we know that his full name is Benjamin and he is privy to many inside jokes; those being B1 and the fact that he "share[s] [his] asparagus". While these snippets of information may seem insubstantial to many they are actually a gold mine for information. Casual MSN "friends" of Ben may use these "inside jokes" to get closer to the victim. By casually dropping down the fact that this Banana Man shares his asparagus in a sexual ineundo to his friends they can succesfully infiltrate the inner circle by passing of second hand knowledge.
Also as Ben has set his personal message to show what he is playing, the stalker, in this case me, can gain knowledge regarding Ben's musical tastes.

For instance:
10:46am - Rip it up - Jet
10:47am - Candy Coloured Lights - Rogue Traders
10:47am - This is the new *expletive*(anagram of this) - Marylin Manson
10:49am - My Immortal - Evanescence
10:54am - Brown Eyed Girl - Greenday
10:57am - New Kid - Chaos Theory
11:02am - Come With Me - P. Diddy
11:07am - Zebra - John Butler Trio
11:11am - Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
11:19am - Mortal Kombat - Rahzel

Just from this short half hour I have learnt about Ben's Musical Tastes. He does not like Candy Coloured Lights by the Rogue Traders rather opting for the songs that confirm my suspicions of him being a Gay Robot.

MSN however is just the tip of the iceberg. With sites such as Facebook I can successfully learn about Ben's inner workings. Just by skimming over his Status' I learn numerous things.
I learn that as of 23 hours ago Ben is feeling slighty depressed. And that as of December the Third there is 93 days to go until something happens. Also on the Third I learn that Ben is hoping a team called the "Planeteers" will "notch up a victory".
A few more clicks reveals that this is actually a mixed netball team in which Ben is a member. They play every Wednesday night.
Scrolling down even more we realise that Ben is counting down to Kings of Leon further giving me, as a stalker, inside information in his music taste.
I can also browse through Ben's photos, learning what he looks like as well as his friends. What occasions he has been celebrating recently. I can also view which School he attended as well as his birthday among other things.

However while Facebook is rather revealing of Ben's character it is Myspace which is the goldmine. Luckly for me, as a stalker, Ben routinley fills out numerous quizzes that can easily be read by any of his "friends".
These quizzes provide ample oppertuntity for stalkage.
We may learn, if bothered to read them, that Ben has never kissed a "blond haired, blue eyed person" and as such can safely assume he does not support Hitler's regeime. Also we learn important information like Ben ate Toast and drank OJ for breakfast today. We also learn he has four pets as well as the fact he last went to a Chinese resteraunt.
These snippets of information, while seemingly innocent may be pieced together by a mastermind stalker (such as myself) to come to the conclusion that Ben is working tomorrow from 9-5.
However while Ben does give away important information he is also aware of his stalkers. Hoping to deter them by placing sublimnal hints in his bulletin such as "HI JEREMY" a better response would be to not fill them out at all.

For why do humans fill out bulletins? Is it to vent their angst and showcase their otherwise shy voice? Is it merely a timefiller, one we partake in much like soccer or counting to 100 in prime numbers?
I believe it comes deep down from human nature. We wish to be heard and as such we fill in meaningless quizzes hinting that there might be a "special someone" desperatly hoping that it might change something, anything, from our day to day repitious life.

So to sum up this somewhat tedious and not very funny note.
MSN, Myspace and Facebook are gold for stalkers.
Noone reads your enormous quizzes besides the people that like to go over everything and scrutinise your spilling or might even grammer.
And stalking is really really REALLY easy.
Y'all should try it.
Peace out.