Exams

All right people, prepare to strap your eyes in because i'm about to take them for the ride of their lives.
Think all my other entries were long, tedious and boring? WELL JUST LEAVE! NOONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK
*sob*
Well today, I will bring you three entries that I had completed during/regarding the TEE. All which have at least five jokes inbetween them (I counted =D).
So without further ado...


Study Break

Hello and Welcome to my blog, the only place where you can see a dancing monkey eat a sundae.

I'm sorry dear reader but I have made a vow. And it isn't one of those vows like, exercise more or eat more vegetables or don't kill anyone because we all know that's not goingto happen.
No the vow I have made, dear reader, is one to not make a Beaniedude production school study mock movie...like I have done for pretty much every single time for the past 'study' breaks.
Lets see:
"The Jeremy Show"
"Procrastination"
"Easter"
Yeeeep, that's three for three so far and i'm planning to make that three for four.
I figured with all that effort into making a 5minute 'movie' that not only wastes my time but everyone who watches (coincidently i'm noticing a pattern with my youtube comments, mainly they all start with "wtf?") the whole world would be better off if i just studied some more.......unfortuantly i don't see that creative outlet being very creative.

Actually no, studying can be very creative.
You can make little cartoons to help you remember the Bayer Process:
Bauxite:Oh no! Help me Au! I'm being dissolved in hot NaOH
Au: I'm sorry, we have to do this, at the end of this you'll be more pure

Or come up with lame puns to help you remember the names of the bones in the human body, don't worry they don't have to be humerous.
Or, my personal favourite, is coming up with a song/rap to remember your quotes:
Othello, the Black Moor
Othello, the Black Moor
An old black ram is tupping your white ewe
Othello, the Black Moor
Othello, A Babary horse
Othello, Blackamoor of course
Thy Husband, Thy husband!
Thy Thy Thy husband!
THE HANKERCHEIF
Thy husband
THE HANKERCHEIF
Goats and monkeys
Goats goats goats and monkeys

Of course while it doesn't look good on paper it sounds quite good. Opposed to other things that look good on paperbut sound horrible. Most noticably America's Economy, Chinese Space Stations and Cupcakes. But then again cupcakes look good on anything.

So yes...I will stop distracting you (hopefully) and will let you continue with your diligent study...


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And now here is one about the Calculus exam
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Calc Exam

Well that calc exam was a lot easier than I expected it to be. I might as go as far to hazard that it was weak as piss. And this is hydrated piss mind you, the piss that is coming out of a Hydrofillic activist trying to break the world record for most drinks skulled in an hour. The type of piss which you can leave unflushed in the toilet and noone will ever know.
But I digress.
There were only a couple of questions I could not understand opposed to the plethora of questions I could not understand in the 2001 paper. Seriously what was up with that paper? I just felt like commiting suicide but then I realised there was a Simpsons marathon on later that day and I was not going to miss out on watching reruns that i've already seen at least 10 times each BACK TO BACK!

So anyway, four tangents later and we're back on track. (yes I realise there are only two so far, three if you count this one.)
The one question that had me stumped was a two marker:
Explain why the two triangles are congruent.
Now knowing what congruent means thanks to the wonderful wonders of wikipedia I feel somewhat silly at having messed that question up.
"Of course!", I exclaimed to myself when first perusing the entry, "How could I have been so stupid?"
"Well", I answered myself in a brief lapse of knowing what the word 'rhetoric' meant, "It could stem from the lack of study, revision or practise that you chose not to complete concerning last year's geometry course outline"
"Shut up", I responded to myself, angry about this revelation
"No you shut up."
"Well...Your sister is stupid"
"....." thought myself, no longer certain who first instigated this argument. "But then wouldn't that mean that your sister is also stupid?"
"...Yeah...."
So leaving psychomachia to the proffesionals, like Medea or Peter Garrett, I pondered on what I had filled in for said question.

It went a little something like this:
Congruent? Congruent?....more like CONGAruent
*insert picture here of 5 people forming a line with mexican hats etc*
(8)Conga Conga CON-GA(8)


My mother, being a maths teacher, had the priveledge of taking home the Discrete paper for this year. Bored, I decided to flick through it to amuse myself. However I could not do most of the questions. Discarding the theory that this may be because of not learning and studying the course for a year, I immediantly spiraled into a black hole of depression and rage.
Everything lost its colour, noone was my friend. I adopted a combover and wore tight jeans and eyeliner. It was too much, it was too much. As I reached for the knife the world around me glazed over. Sound lost all meaning, everything smelled of angst and hatred instead of the normal teen spirit. However one frequency fought this darkness, one frequency prevailed. Unfortuantly it was 93.7 Megahertz which just made me want to kill myself even more. I glanced at the time "6:00"
Oh, the Simpson's Marathon is starting!
And with that my journey of self hate and discovery was over.


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And lastly one concerning the indonesian exam
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Indonesian Exam

Ah yes, the indonesian exam.
Not really caring how well, or rather how bad I did in this subject I hada field day filing out this paper.
I will take you on a magical journey through thyme and space as we visit the unvisited and generally laugh about life, the universe, and everything.

The first section of the paper was listening wherein everyone sitting the indonesian exam in WA, that is all 20 of us, listened to three people talk about stuff including, watching movies, their sick children and of course itineries for holidays.
Before I go further I would like to point out that this exam wasn't actually that hard, just tedious annoying and boring.
Anyway so the listening sections is split into the multi choice section and short answer. Down the side of this section there is always a little margin saying 'Space for notes'.
Me being me I immediantly disregard what the people are saying and fill in....and I mean completely fill in the little section with croqchets, quavers, ta's and titi's. While taking a break to choose the answers to the multichoice i thought "Hm....it is good, but is it good enough?"On my next section of 'Space for notes' I drew space. Because I could. It was of the Sun with Mercury Venus and the Earth orbiting it drawn from where Mars would've been. I also drew in a Y-Wing just to add to the mood.
However my Pun-O-Meter was still vaguely uninterested. I fixed this by drawing in a piece of paper with writing on it (a note) and a squashed bee (b-flat).
Feeling pride at what I accomplished I quickly realised that I had missed the last question:
What time do they arrive back at the hotel?
For the lack of anything better to say I simply replied 'Hammer Time'!

The next section was the reading section. The section wherein you skim read the passages and guess the answers. A couple of honourable mentions goes to my attempt to link laughing to a cure for AIDS and a description of the 'Filmstar's Girlfriend' as 'Currently dating a filmstar' I would have to admit that I am quite proud of a paticular answer.
The question was "Who is the most excited by their b'day"
Quickly ignoring the poor child needing supplies and the old man because he was old I immediantly choose the girl as she would "receive flowers" from her boyfriend. I then went to back up my argument by going into detail the thought process of a teenage girl. I detailed the hormone activity and the emotional aspect being far greater than ration thought (cross reference Anceint Greek drama, golden mean etc.)
With a blank page before the next section I thought I would have a little fun. At the bottom left I drew a little stick figure man playing on a saxaphone. You could see, if you looked closely enough, tiny little croqchets protuding him the end. Gradually as your eye moved to the right you saw the notes get bigger and bolder, lifting up towards the heavens and the edge of the page. This masterpiece that I had created lacked a name, but needed none. Simply subtitled "Music - The real universal Language" I moved on to the next section.

Ah yes, the letter writing. This one you had to write a letter in reply to a person in Indonesia. They asked you all the stuff that 17 year old Australian teenagers are meant to know; what time does school start? Is the beach fine? etc.... nauseating stuff.
So in replying to this letter I took on the persona of a home-schooled young boy living 5000km east of Coolgardie in a sort of cult. I detalied how i did not know such information due to my isolation from the rest of society as well as aserting multiple times that my favourite teacher is my mother as she is my only teacher. I then went on to say how I loved my mother and also how i also loved the 'leader', may he live long and prosper.
I also went to hint of the possible child punsihment occuring in my household as well as the apparent slavery my parents oversee. I also went into great depth into asking him 'why' he did not just Google these easily answered question. I closed my letter by saying I had to skin some rabbits.

The final section was the 'essay section' wherein we write an essay. I chose to forgo this trivial requirement and instead opted to write a short story.
I immediantly went for the dystopic fiction novel where our protaganist is fleeing from a city overrun by mind reading robot 'policemen'. A cross between The Handmaid's Tale and 1984 with its thought police. I wished to highlight the story of those that got out before the major oppresion started, to tell already dull genre from a fresh and new perspective. Unfortuantly all of this is rather hard to do in another language so what came out was a grammatically incorrect story of a man thinking about grass talking about robots.
It ended with 'she smiled'
I'ld like them to mark that conclusion

So yeah, thats my story. At the end of the exam I ripped out a large chunk of my hair and stuck it in the paper, encircling it and writing 'hair' next to it.


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Phew...hitting CTRL-C and CTRL-V is a lot of work, takes a lot out of you.
Seriously if you read all of that, I commend you. Nicely done.
If we meet I will give you a cookie, or a punch to the face.
YOU CAN CHOSE!