D:
On another note:
BAM!
Enjoy.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
And so it begins.
In an effort to stop me going insane I have compiled all my aspirations into a small metaphorical ball to present to you in daily form my recent going ons. This outlet will prove useful when I decide to become a criminal mastermind and need to air my grievances of the world as well as goad my inevitable arch nemesis.
"But wait!" I hear you cry due to the small camera I have placed in your room, "Isn't that the whole point of a blog? Haven't you been doing this all along anyway."
Oh hahahahahaha! I reply in a jolly fashion. Don't be so naive child, have you not read my previous entries and if not then why are you complaining about the change of direction this blog is changing if you have not invested any interest into it already?
You really are shallow and immature. Shame on you.
So while straightening my tie and feeling smugly superior I carry on.
With my parents in Singapore and my sister somewhere in America, I have acquired the house all to myself for the next few weeks. Already, after 12 long hours in solitude I have started to notice some side effects to my isolation. The fourth finger on my right hand has swollen up a tiny bit and my apathy has increased marginally by a factor of 2%. I put both of these symptoms down to the lack of communication with the outside world, leaving me in a very much 'out of the loop' state of mind.
Without other human beings around me to try to spark up conversations I have grown weary of the day to day musings of life as life itself has no meaning. What is the point of my pitiful existence if it has no impact on the outside world? And how am I possibly going to measure my worth as a human being if I cannot interact with the outside world to determine my overall impact.
As such even musing about the meaningless of life has no meaning as I have no way to verify my claim that life is meaningless.
They say the first 12 hours is the hardest. Personally I would like to meet this 'they'. They have said a lot of things in the past which I have not been happy about, often with no references or data. This group of people who call themselves 'they' should be more closely monitored as they could spark up civil interest and unrest according to this latest study that I read somewhere.
Being out of the loop is an unnatural feeling. Has a war started in Korea yet? Have we discovered a new source of fuel to quiet the masses? What has happened to Oprah?
OH TELL ME WHAT OPRAH DID!? LIKE! WHAT DID SHE EAT FOR LUNCH!? I NEED TO KNOW!
So anyway, 12 hours down of my self inflicted solitude and only 350 odd left to go.
"But wait!" I hear you cry due to the small camera I have placed in your room, "Isn't that the whole point of a blog? Haven't you been doing this all along anyway."
Oh hahahahahaha! I reply in a jolly fashion. Don't be so naive child, have you not read my previous entries and if not then why are you complaining about the change of direction this blog is changing if you have not invested any interest into it already?
You really are shallow and immature. Shame on you.
So while straightening my tie and feeling smugly superior I carry on.
With my parents in Singapore and my sister somewhere in America, I have acquired the house all to myself for the next few weeks. Already, after 12 long hours in solitude I have started to notice some side effects to my isolation. The fourth finger on my right hand has swollen up a tiny bit and my apathy has increased marginally by a factor of 2%. I put both of these symptoms down to the lack of communication with the outside world, leaving me in a very much 'out of the loop' state of mind.
Without other human beings around me to try to spark up conversations I have grown weary of the day to day musings of life as life itself has no meaning. What is the point of my pitiful existence if it has no impact on the outside world? And how am I possibly going to measure my worth as a human being if I cannot interact with the outside world to determine my overall impact.
As such even musing about the meaningless of life has no meaning as I have no way to verify my claim that life is meaningless.
They say the first 12 hours is the hardest. Personally I would like to meet this 'they'. They have said a lot of things in the past which I have not been happy about, often with no references or data. This group of people who call themselves 'they' should be more closely monitored as they could spark up civil interest and unrest according to this latest study that I read somewhere.
Being out of the loop is an unnatural feeling. Has a war started in Korea yet? Have we discovered a new source of fuel to quiet the masses? What has happened to Oprah?
OH TELL ME WHAT OPRAH DID!? LIKE! WHAT DID SHE EAT FOR LUNCH!? I NEED TO KNOW!
So anyway, 12 hours down of my self inflicted solitude and only 350 odd left to go.
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Lonesome Knight!
The knight was young for the straggle moose
Not a day over thirty five
So I wonder why it let him loose
Why it let the brave knight survive?
Some speculate that the moon did help
The rather dashing young man
By raising the tides and sending in kelp
To distract the moose while he ran
Others say the moose took pity
Of the knight, all bound up tight
For it did snatch him from the city
And let me tell you it was quite a sight
There the knight was playing poker
With his horse along as well
He was out of chips, bet his super soaker
With a kidney he could sell.
The cards were flopped the hands were queried
His opponent raised some Sauce
Reluctantly the knight quite wearied
Offered up his horse
But his horse said “Neigh!” and cantered off
Leaving the knight alone
The cards were shown, he was at a loss
He admitted he got pwned.
His opponent then, unsheaving a knife
Demanded the other kidney
The knight objected “I need that for life!
Of your presence you shall rid me!”
A brawl was started, the knight but one
The others had a plenty
With their numbers they did overcome
One knight is no match for twenty
Broken and maimed the knight hobbled out
Into the bustling city
He hit a cart, stepped on a lout
The resulting case was not pretty
Alas the knight was overcome
By the lout and his friends they
Did pummel the knight who was but one
The thugs were a plenty
The knight was setting a course for home
when he did trip over his son
He helped him up, “Why you’re all alone”
Then he saw what the son had done
His arms were slashed, his liver missing
The son did rise “from the east
They came with swords and snakes a hissing
They said they needed a feast”
The knight rose up while his son sat down
The situation was bad he deduced
The last thing he saw before blacking out with a frown
Were the horns of a lone straggle moose.
Thus ends the tale of the Lonesome Knight
Even though there are some loose ends
The bad guys were captured their wounds were healed
And Everybody made amends
Except for the straggle moose
It is of course on the loose
Hunting down maidens
Playing some raiden
Playing some raiden
Which is quite a feat if you have hoofs.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Two Peanuts
Breaking his 2 month long silence our Author pauses and deliberates what to write about next.
Pen poised and mind at the ready he slowly inches his way over to the lever of inspiration which he must pry free with the stick of hard work unleashing it from the cruel harsh grips of laziness.
And thus he writes:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Bobby was not your ordinary peanut, oh no. Bobby was what you would refer to as a special nut.
You see Bobby was different from all the other peanuts. While the other peanuts would play their special peanut games with each other Bobby would be excluded and shunned from the group.
It barely bothered Bobby, or at least that is what he told himself. It gave him more time to himself, it gave him more time to think.
Bobby liked to think.
"A bright lad, bright lad", Mr Hersworth, Bobby's algebra teacher would say of Bobby while puffing on his pipe, "A tad bit quiet though, and a little bit...special".
"Oh yes, I would say he is extremely bright, although he is also a very strange boy, very special." Was how Mrs Tennytot would describe Bobby.
Though the truth was that all the teachers at Little Peanutington Elementary were a tiny bit afraid of young Bobby. Bobby intimidated them, they gave them the willies.
He would always sit upright and pay attention to whatever they said, adsorbing all their words. He was like a sponge, no a vacuum, sucking in everything into his little peanut head.
You see Bobby listened and that was the most unnerving thing about him. Bobby listened to everything.
Bobby liked to listen.
It was sixth period and the school day was nearing a close. The minute hand was slowly meandering towards the number twelve and all of Bobby's classmates were restless with the seemingly endless possibilities that stretch from the long hours of three until dinner...
I WILL CONTINUE THIS AT A LATER DATE!
BUT NOW! DONKEY KONG COUNTRY RETURNS BECKONS!
Pen poised and mind at the ready he slowly inches his way over to the lever of inspiration which he must pry free with the stick of hard work unleashing it from the cruel harsh grips of laziness.
And thus he writes:
Bobby was not your ordinary peanut, oh no. Bobby was what you would refer to as a special nut.
You see Bobby was different from all the other peanuts. While the other peanuts would play their special peanut games with each other Bobby would be excluded and shunned from the group.
It barely bothered Bobby, or at least that is what he told himself. It gave him more time to himself, it gave him more time to think.
Bobby liked to think.
"A bright lad, bright lad", Mr Hersworth, Bobby's algebra teacher would say of Bobby while puffing on his pipe, "A tad bit quiet though, and a little bit...special".
"Oh yes, I would say he is extremely bright, although he is also a very strange boy, very special." Was how Mrs Tennytot would describe Bobby.
Though the truth was that all the teachers at Little Peanutington Elementary were a tiny bit afraid of young Bobby. Bobby intimidated them, they gave them the willies.
He would always sit upright and pay attention to whatever they said, adsorbing all their words. He was like a sponge, no a vacuum, sucking in everything into his little peanut head.
You see Bobby listened and that was the most unnerving thing about him. Bobby listened to everything.
Bobby liked to listen.
It was sixth period and the school day was nearing a close. The minute hand was slowly meandering towards the number twelve and all of Bobby's classmates were restless with the seemingly endless possibilities that stretch from the long hours of three until dinner...
I WILL CONTINUE THIS AT A LATER DATE!
BUT NOW! DONKEY KONG COUNTRY RETURNS BECKONS!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Short Story
Some of my more astute viewers might remember a story I posted late last year regarding an onion, chemistry and a Little Black Shirted Man.
Well the Fruvivor competition this year was pretty much the same so here is a totally original STORY!
Enjoy!
As one sweeps the universe for all its mysteries one often forgets to notice the little oddities that lie close to home. From the Pistol Shrimp’s unique way of stunning fish to the Cordyceps fungus’ fascinating way of population control there are so many oddities that we glance over simply because they have become the norm. Perhaps the most interesting oddity that we have grown to forget, one that is more interesting than the Pistol Shrimp, more fascinating than the Cordyceps fungus and more odd than a metamorphous of a caterpillar is a small group of dedicated people who have devoted their lives to remind the world of the loss it has sustained. Through them, the world may relive the essence of joy, the power of knowledge and the friendly smile that united nations. Through them, the world may remember Tyler.
Our story takes place at the First Church Of Tyler, located on a hill by the river. It is a grand place indeed, with pillars that reach up to the sky and the walls adorned with paintings of Tyler. It reminds the world of what it has lost.
“And so,” Droned LBSM sporting a Little Black Clerical Outfit, “We must live each day as Tyler intended. We must grasp all possibilities and make them our own. We must be as Tyler was, loving caring and above all logical. And I hear you wonder, ‘But how can we be as Tyler was? How can we be that perfect?’ well do not worry. We can never be as Tyler truly was, only a pale shadow compared to him. He does not expect us to be as him, only that we continue on his legacy. Go in peace brethren.”
“And shall Tyler light the way.” Responded the congregation as one.
“That was an excellent sermon you gave,” said Sammy as the congregation moved out onto the lawn.
“Thankyou Brother Sammy, I felt Tyler’s spirits run through me today.”
“So you still feel him then?” Questioned Sammy, “It’s just that lately I have not been feeling the spirit of Tyler as I once did, I just wonder if it is possible if you were able to-”
“Now Sammy,” interrupted LBSM, “We both know the Great Tyler doeth move in mysterious ways.”
“But I just feel that my passion is fading, my mind has been slipping. Wouldn’t it be possible for you to just give me-”
“No, I am afraid not. Now if you excuse me I have to attend to the books.”
Somewhat disappointed Good Sammy left the alter and stumbled outside into the light wondering what had become of himself and his faith. He had once been a devotee of Tyler, one of his firsts. He did as Tyler did and ate what Tyler ate. He was the model devotee, a shining example but then the incident occurred… they never did find the body.
“Hey Sammy!” Interrupted Kayla as he stumbled by, “How you going?”
“Yeah alright I guess,” responded Sammy despondently, “It’s just that-”
“That’s awesome! Look, what do you think of this necklace Raph bought me? I think it is so brilliant, it matches my eyes and it sparkles if you hold it just right.”
Sammy let Kayla’s words wash over him as he took in his surroundings, the sun was up but there were a few storm clouds on the horizon. The reflection of the lake caught Sammy’s eye as English Sam juggled a ball expertly from foot to foot. His windswept hair and glistening muscles complimented his figure. Sammy scowled. He should not let such thoughts enter his mind. It was against everything that Tyler stood for but even so- He became aware of a buzzing sound entering his unconscious.
“Hello? HELLO?” said Kayla eventually breaking through. “I said what do you think?”
“Oh yeah,” responded Sammy, “Yeah, it’s good.”
“Cool, look Raph and I were going to go and see this hilarious new romantic comedy and then he said he would take me paddle boating and everything! Can you believe it? Oh look, Here he comes now! Squeal! Look I’ll catch up with you later. Bye!”
Sam had never heard anyone pronounce the word ‘squeal’ before. He filed it away as an oddity only Kayla could reproduce.
He wandered on following his subconscious to the lake.
“HEADS!” came the shout as a soccer ball careened out of nowhere and knocked Sammy to the floor.
“Sorry about that Sammy,” puffed English as he extended his hand, “You really should look where you are going.”
“ I know,” said Sammy as he took English’s hand, “I’ve just had a lot-” What was this feeling? Like electricity almost. He never had noticed it until now. Never thought about it until now. Never realised that until now…
“You’ve just had a lot?” Questioned English, somewhat perturbed by the sudden silence fallen over Sammy. “You’ve been drinking again?”
“What? Oh no! No, I’ve just had a lot on my mind. A lot on my mind”
The silence stretched out again, reaching into the dark depths of time and blocking all surrounding noises as it recklessly freefalled into oblivion. Then, like a match suddenly being struck in a dark cave English’s voice flashed out.
“You can let go now.”
“I’m sorry?” Replied Sammy.
“You can let go of my hand now.”
“Oh yes! Um… sorry about that. Don’t know what came over me.” Replied Sammy, flustered by this experience.
“Look, are you ok?,” Asked English, “Because you do seem a little pale.”
“Yeah, it is just that I haven’t been feeling Tyler lately and… I don’t know.”
“Well… do you want to talk about it?”
“Huh?”
“I said, do you want to talk about it?”
“Well it’s just that. Life isn’t fair is it? I mean, why did Tyler have to leave us? After all he did for us why did he have to go?
“You were close to him weren’t you?” Interjected English.
“I was one of his chosen few, I took in everything he said and studied all his teachings and then he just vanishes! After ending poverty and discovering clean fuel he just ups and leaves. He had to go and die before even saying goodbye to me! To his closest devotee.”
“They never did find the body did they?”
“He could unite the nations with his smile but he couldn’t stop the darkness that dwells in the hearts of men, try as he might.”
“I had a hard time too but I got through with a little help from my friends. Tyler would have wanted us to continue his great message not wallow in self pity. You of all people should know that.” English flashed Sammy an encouraging smile.
Sammy smiled back. “You’re right, you always are. Come on, lets play some ball.”
They played for hours that day. And while Sammy tried to put it out of his mind he could not help noticing the sweat whipping off English’s shirt as he bounced the ball. The skill with his feet as he dribbled it around and all the while English’s charming face, shining through. Placing a beacon of hope and kindness on an otherwise drab day. Never before had Sammy felt such feelings of nervousness mixed with joy. Whenever their eyes crossed he could not help it but to grin and feel slightly embarrassed. Perhaps, just for those few short hours, Sammy finally forgot and lived in the present.
“Hey English!” he shouted as he passed the ball back somewhat shocked by the words coming out of his mouth.
“Yeah?”
“I just want to say that you are a true friend.”
“Thanks man.”
“Wait there’s more…” he hesitated, “ I have always admired you and that I shouldn’t try to deny my feelings anymore and so I just want to say-“
Sammy looked at English, their eyes met and for a moment, the world stop. The ball bounced harmlessly down the hill as English replied as soft as a breath of air “I know.”
The rain came thundering down from the skies as Sammy and English locked gazes. They stood there for what felt like hours just savouring the moment. Savouring this feeling.
“We should,” interrupted English breaking the spell, “We should probably get out of the rain.”
Looking around they noticed their surroundings for what seemed the first time in ages, it was nearing the night time and all the Tyler Worshippers had already left for home.
“Quick! Back to the church!” Shouted Sammy, “It should still be open.”
Sammy and English rushed to the great double doors of the church. Each of them grabbing a handle they pulled with all their might finally falling to the floor of the church.
“Man, I am completely soaked,” Panted English as he got to his knees. The discerning faces of Tyler surrounded them, discerning them.
“You’re going to catch a cold with all those wet clothes on,” whispered Sammy as he got off the floor, “That wouldn’t be good at all.”
English shivered as Sammy reached to unbutton his shirt. He always had lusted after Sammy, just that he never dreamed this would actually happen. He noticed the lean body of Sammy bent over him through the now translucent wet shirt. His hands shaking he reached up and started unbuttoning Sammy.
“You big dummy,” English whispered as his breath condensed on Sammy’s neck. “You’re going to get a cold too if you leave your shirt on.”
Sammy let out a moan as English touched his chest. “Your hands are so cold.” Sammy said.
“Well lets warm them up them.” English replied.
Slipping off his own shirt English tentatively removed Sammy’s. Their bodies glistening in the dim light of the church. Droplets of water shining off their bodies, sweat intertwining with rain.
Sammy reached up and stroked English’s hair.
“Come on, I’m ready.”
Lightning struck, thunder rolled. The light’s of the church were activated to reveal a startled LBSM at the top of the stairs.
Sammy let out a startled scream. “LBSM! Look! I can explain! It’s not what it looks like!”
LBSM let out a knowing smile, “It’s ok Brother Sammy.”
“It just started raining and we came inside here and then we were worried about catching a cold so we-”
“I said it is ok Brother Sammy.”
“I just wanted to please Tyler all alo- Wait… you are ok with this?”
“Why of course I am,” Replied LBSM, “If this is what you truly want then I am sure Tyler will be understanding.”
“I’m not going against Tyler by following my heart?”
“Of course not Brother Sammy, You do not love Tyler any less because you also love another man. Why I remember my first time with Lionel and Jim…”
Sammy felt English’s hand on his shoulder as LBSM recounted his story. “Everything has turned out all right then has it? Do you now understand what Tyler had in store for you?”
“I think, I think I do. Thankyou Sam.” Said Sammy.
“Hey that’s what friends are for.”
“And then there was this other time with Raph, boy that was brilliant.”
“I hate to interrupt but if there any place we could get some rest?” Inquired Sammy.
“Oh yes! So sorry, there is a special room out back that I keep stocked for special occasions like this. Just down the hall and on the right.”
Another happy ending, mused LBSM as he moved the alter to reveal a secret passage. Descending the stairs he smiled as he removed his Little Black Clerical Outfit and revealed a Little Black Skin Tight Outfit.
He passed a hall adorned with Tyler’s pictures and by the monitors showing Sammy and English comforting each other. He absentmindedly picked up a whip while he mused life’s oddities.
Isn’t it an oddity, he thought, that they never did find Tyler’s body.
He opened a locked door to expose a dejected human chained to the wall. At a certain angle you might have reflected that this person might have been quite handsome some time in the past. You might also have commented that his smile might have bought the nations together.
“Now,” Said LBSM, “Where were we?”
Well the Fruvivor competition this year was pretty much the same so here is a totally original STORY!
Enjoy!
As one sweeps the universe for all its mysteries one often forgets to notice the little oddities that lie close to home. From the Pistol Shrimp’s unique way of stunning fish to the Cordyceps fungus’ fascinating way of population control there are so many oddities that we glance over simply because they have become the norm. Perhaps the most interesting oddity that we have grown to forget, one that is more interesting than the Pistol Shrimp, more fascinating than the Cordyceps fungus and more odd than a metamorphous of a caterpillar is a small group of dedicated people who have devoted their lives to remind the world of the loss it has sustained. Through them, the world may relive the essence of joy, the power of knowledge and the friendly smile that united nations. Through them, the world may remember Tyler.
Our story takes place at the First Church Of Tyler, located on a hill by the river. It is a grand place indeed, with pillars that reach up to the sky and the walls adorned with paintings of Tyler. It reminds the world of what it has lost.
“And so,” Droned LBSM sporting a Little Black Clerical Outfit, “We must live each day as Tyler intended. We must grasp all possibilities and make them our own. We must be as Tyler was, loving caring and above all logical. And I hear you wonder, ‘But how can we be as Tyler was? How can we be that perfect?’ well do not worry. We can never be as Tyler truly was, only a pale shadow compared to him. He does not expect us to be as him, only that we continue on his legacy. Go in peace brethren.”
“And shall Tyler light the way.” Responded the congregation as one.
“That was an excellent sermon you gave,” said Sammy as the congregation moved out onto the lawn.
“Thankyou Brother Sammy, I felt Tyler’s spirits run through me today.”
“So you still feel him then?” Questioned Sammy, “It’s just that lately I have not been feeling the spirit of Tyler as I once did, I just wonder if it is possible if you were able to-”
“Now Sammy,” interrupted LBSM, “We both know the Great Tyler doeth move in mysterious ways.”
“But I just feel that my passion is fading, my mind has been slipping. Wouldn’t it be possible for you to just give me-”
“No, I am afraid not. Now if you excuse me I have to attend to the books.”
Somewhat disappointed Good Sammy left the alter and stumbled outside into the light wondering what had become of himself and his faith. He had once been a devotee of Tyler, one of his firsts. He did as Tyler did and ate what Tyler ate. He was the model devotee, a shining example but then the incident occurred… they never did find the body.
“Hey Sammy!” Interrupted Kayla as he stumbled by, “How you going?”
“Yeah alright I guess,” responded Sammy despondently, “It’s just that-”
“That’s awesome! Look, what do you think of this necklace Raph bought me? I think it is so brilliant, it matches my eyes and it sparkles if you hold it just right.”
Sammy let Kayla’s words wash over him as he took in his surroundings, the sun was up but there were a few storm clouds on the horizon. The reflection of the lake caught Sammy’s eye as English Sam juggled a ball expertly from foot to foot. His windswept hair and glistening muscles complimented his figure. Sammy scowled. He should not let such thoughts enter his mind. It was against everything that Tyler stood for but even so- He became aware of a buzzing sound entering his unconscious.
“Hello? HELLO?” said Kayla eventually breaking through. “I said what do you think?”
“Oh yeah,” responded Sammy, “Yeah, it’s good.”
“Cool, look Raph and I were going to go and see this hilarious new romantic comedy and then he said he would take me paddle boating and everything! Can you believe it? Oh look, Here he comes now! Squeal! Look I’ll catch up with you later. Bye!”
Sam had never heard anyone pronounce the word ‘squeal’ before. He filed it away as an oddity only Kayla could reproduce.
He wandered on following his subconscious to the lake.
“HEADS!” came the shout as a soccer ball careened out of nowhere and knocked Sammy to the floor.
“Sorry about that Sammy,” puffed English as he extended his hand, “You really should look where you are going.”
“ I know,” said Sammy as he took English’s hand, “I’ve just had a lot-” What was this feeling? Like electricity almost. He never had noticed it until now. Never thought about it until now. Never realised that until now…
“You’ve just had a lot?” Questioned English, somewhat perturbed by the sudden silence fallen over Sammy. “You’ve been drinking again?”
“What? Oh no! No, I’ve just had a lot on my mind. A lot on my mind”
The silence stretched out again, reaching into the dark depths of time and blocking all surrounding noises as it recklessly freefalled into oblivion. Then, like a match suddenly being struck in a dark cave English’s voice flashed out.
“You can let go now.”
“I’m sorry?” Replied Sammy.
“You can let go of my hand now.”
“Oh yes! Um… sorry about that. Don’t know what came over me.” Replied Sammy, flustered by this experience.
“Look, are you ok?,” Asked English, “Because you do seem a little pale.”
“Yeah, it is just that I haven’t been feeling Tyler lately and… I don’t know.”
“Well… do you want to talk about it?”
“Huh?”
“I said, do you want to talk about it?”
“Well it’s just that. Life isn’t fair is it? I mean, why did Tyler have to leave us? After all he did for us why did he have to go?
“You were close to him weren’t you?” Interjected English.
“I was one of his chosen few, I took in everything he said and studied all his teachings and then he just vanishes! After ending poverty and discovering clean fuel he just ups and leaves. He had to go and die before even saying goodbye to me! To his closest devotee.”
“They never did find the body did they?”
“He could unite the nations with his smile but he couldn’t stop the darkness that dwells in the hearts of men, try as he might.”
“I had a hard time too but I got through with a little help from my friends. Tyler would have wanted us to continue his great message not wallow in self pity. You of all people should know that.” English flashed Sammy an encouraging smile.
Sammy smiled back. “You’re right, you always are. Come on, lets play some ball.”
They played for hours that day. And while Sammy tried to put it out of his mind he could not help noticing the sweat whipping off English’s shirt as he bounced the ball. The skill with his feet as he dribbled it around and all the while English’s charming face, shining through. Placing a beacon of hope and kindness on an otherwise drab day. Never before had Sammy felt such feelings of nervousness mixed with joy. Whenever their eyes crossed he could not help it but to grin and feel slightly embarrassed. Perhaps, just for those few short hours, Sammy finally forgot and lived in the present.
“Hey English!” he shouted as he passed the ball back somewhat shocked by the words coming out of his mouth.
“Yeah?”
“I just want to say that you are a true friend.”
“Thanks man.”
“Wait there’s more…” he hesitated, “ I have always admired you and that I shouldn’t try to deny my feelings anymore and so I just want to say-“
Sammy looked at English, their eyes met and for a moment, the world stop. The ball bounced harmlessly down the hill as English replied as soft as a breath of air “I know.”
The rain came thundering down from the skies as Sammy and English locked gazes. They stood there for what felt like hours just savouring the moment. Savouring this feeling.
“We should,” interrupted English breaking the spell, “We should probably get out of the rain.”
Looking around they noticed their surroundings for what seemed the first time in ages, it was nearing the night time and all the Tyler Worshippers had already left for home.
“Quick! Back to the church!” Shouted Sammy, “It should still be open.”
Sammy and English rushed to the great double doors of the church. Each of them grabbing a handle they pulled with all their might finally falling to the floor of the church.
“Man, I am completely soaked,” Panted English as he got to his knees. The discerning faces of Tyler surrounded them, discerning them.
“You’re going to catch a cold with all those wet clothes on,” whispered Sammy as he got off the floor, “That wouldn’t be good at all.”
English shivered as Sammy reached to unbutton his shirt. He always had lusted after Sammy, just that he never dreamed this would actually happen. He noticed the lean body of Sammy bent over him through the now translucent wet shirt. His hands shaking he reached up and started unbuttoning Sammy.
“You big dummy,” English whispered as his breath condensed on Sammy’s neck. “You’re going to get a cold too if you leave your shirt on.”
Sammy let out a moan as English touched his chest. “Your hands are so cold.” Sammy said.
“Well lets warm them up them.” English replied.
Slipping off his own shirt English tentatively removed Sammy’s. Their bodies glistening in the dim light of the church. Droplets of water shining off their bodies, sweat intertwining with rain.
Sammy reached up and stroked English’s hair.
“Come on, I’m ready.”
Lightning struck, thunder rolled. The light’s of the church were activated to reveal a startled LBSM at the top of the stairs.
Sammy let out a startled scream. “LBSM! Look! I can explain! It’s not what it looks like!”
LBSM let out a knowing smile, “It’s ok Brother Sammy.”
“It just started raining and we came inside here and then we were worried about catching a cold so we-”
“I said it is ok Brother Sammy.”
“I just wanted to please Tyler all alo- Wait… you are ok with this?”
“Why of course I am,” Replied LBSM, “If this is what you truly want then I am sure Tyler will be understanding.”
“I’m not going against Tyler by following my heart?”
“Of course not Brother Sammy, You do not love Tyler any less because you also love another man. Why I remember my first time with Lionel and Jim…”
Sammy felt English’s hand on his shoulder as LBSM recounted his story. “Everything has turned out all right then has it? Do you now understand what Tyler had in store for you?”
“I think, I think I do. Thankyou Sam.” Said Sammy.
“Hey that’s what friends are for.”
“And then there was this other time with Raph, boy that was brilliant.”
“I hate to interrupt but if there any place we could get some rest?” Inquired Sammy.
“Oh yes! So sorry, there is a special room out back that I keep stocked for special occasions like this. Just down the hall and on the right.”
Another happy ending, mused LBSM as he moved the alter to reveal a secret passage. Descending the stairs he smiled as he removed his Little Black Clerical Outfit and revealed a Little Black Skin Tight Outfit.
He passed a hall adorned with Tyler’s pictures and by the monitors showing Sammy and English comforting each other. He absentmindedly picked up a whip while he mused life’s oddities.
Isn’t it an oddity, he thought, that they never did find Tyler’s body.
He opened a locked door to expose a dejected human chained to the wall. At a certain angle you might have reflected that this person might have been quite handsome some time in the past. You might also have commented that his smile might have bought the nations together.
“Now,” Said LBSM, “Where were we?”
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Scars of Mirrodin
Hello fools.
A quick one today because I have a Nanotechnology report due tomorrow that really needs finishing.
I mean, he has jets coming out of his armpits. COME ON!
Ancient Stirrings can help us search for Liquimetal Coating (you know, as how our whole deck is based around it) and this card:
Keeps the draws coming.
A quick one today because I have a Nanotechnology report due tomorrow that really needs finishing.
A fun deck idea with some cards spoiled from SOM.
Basically the deck is built around this card:
Using this card we can turn anyone of our opponents permanents into an artifact! Which we can promptly shatter with any artifact destruction card. Basically i'm thinking; Manic Vandals, Tuktuk Scrappers, Acidic Slimes and an Oxidda Scrapmelter.
Oh course this card can be our big bad finisher.Ancient Stirrings can help us search for Liquimetal Coating (you know, as how our whole deck is based around it) and this card:
Keeps the draws coming.
So to sum up:
Liquimetal Coating turns your opponents permanents into Artifacts. You then shatter their permanents with CIP abilities of your Red/Green creatures and proceed to smash face as everything they play can be shattered and will be as all your creatures shatter stuff.
Liquimetal Coating turns your opponents permanents into Artifacts. You then shatter their permanents with CIP abilities of your Red/Green creatures and proceed to smash face as everything they play can be shattered and will be as all your creatures shatter stuff.
It's gonna be FUN.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
GREETINGS EARTHLINGS!
Whilst taking a break from my heavy procrastination schedule our intrepid hero sets out to relax.
This soon fails however and he is thrust back into the limelight of writing!
"You know what is sad?" I ask you from atop my pedastool.
"The Holocaust!"
"Orphans!"
"The capatalistic nature of society that allows people to reach new hights by standing on the backs of the poor!"
"Well no," I reply, secretly grateful for the intelligence of my audience, "Well all of those are sad but the one I had in mind was Magic: The Gathering and its magical property to whisk away money from my wallet in exchange for thin pieces of cardboard!"
"... The Holocaust was sadder!"
"I would just like to clarify I didn't think Orphans were sad, more their plight."
"See! Even you succumb to the capatalistic greed that so wroughts our society and lives. Surely a human life is worth more than some cardboard and if so why not dona-"
"THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT!" I reply quickly pulling a lever, cursing the intelligence of my audience. "That should keep the mimes happy for a few hours.'
So yes, Magic, and the new set is coming out Late September. Well technically October but September sounds so much closer.
And because Wizards know how to market they have been building up the hype for Scars of Mirrodin with choice spoilers.
So here I will present to you! My ideas for decks with the miniscule amount of cards that have been spoilt so far.
Really I should just wait a couple of weeks and do it then but... you know.
I'm thinking of making a Blue/White/Black proliferate, infect deck.
The only reason white is in here is because of:
When this bird horror hits (which it will, it is unblockable) I get to add counters to permanents! Hello Loyalty counters!
"So what?" You ask, "In 20 turns I'll be dead!"
NOT IF I POISON YOU FIRST!
This soon fails however and he is thrust back into the limelight of writing!
"You know what is sad?" I ask you from atop my pedastool.
"The Holocaust!"
"Orphans!"
"The capatalistic nature of society that allows people to reach new hights by standing on the backs of the poor!"
"Well no," I reply, secretly grateful for the intelligence of my audience, "Well all of those are sad but the one I had in mind was Magic: The Gathering and its magical property to whisk away money from my wallet in exchange for thin pieces of cardboard!"
"... The Holocaust was sadder!"
"I would just like to clarify I didn't think Orphans were sad, more their plight."
"See! Even you succumb to the capatalistic greed that so wroughts our society and lives. Surely a human life is worth more than some cardboard and if so why not dona-"
"THAT IS ENOUGH OF THAT!" I reply quickly pulling a lever, cursing the intelligence of my audience. "That should keep the mimes happy for a few hours.'
So yes, Magic, and the new set is coming out Late September. Well technically October but September sounds so much closer.
And because Wizards know how to market they have been building up the hype for Scars of Mirrodin with choice spoilers.
So here I will present to you! My ideas for decks with the miniscule amount of cards that have been spoilt so far.
Really I should just wait a couple of weeks and do it then but... you know.
I'm thinking of making a Blue/White/Black proliferate, infect deck.
The only reason white is in here is because of:
BOOM PLANESWALKER!
Paticulary his -1 ability to make creatures unblockable. I know, Blue has plenty of ways to make creatures unblockable but shhh....
"But!" I hear you cry from the dungeons of the mimes, "Surely he will run out of loyalty if you keep using his -1!"
Well this is true... not unless I have this card:"So what?" You ask, "In 20 turns I'll be dead!"
NOT IF I POISON YOU FIRST!
With all the creatures with infect!
These not only kill my oppponent fast but the poison counters put on the opposing player can be proliferated as well!
That is good!
Right?
YES IT IS!
I'm Out!
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