Thursday, April 15, 2010

Silent Vlog

I am crazy.
A blog about a blog?
SOMEONE END MY MADNESS NOW!



...it's me by the way... in the video.

Friday, April 9, 2010

What Irks me Greatly

'What irks me greatly' I will now tell,
In poem format, what the hell.
1) Television Today, what can I say?
Violence and sex run on the screen and have somehow become acceptable as mainstream.
And children's shows too, for that matter, canned laughter does not make it better.
Those annoying voice overs during the promos, making the audience gasp and say "ONOES!"
But in actual fact they fabricated a whole story from two or three clips that leads the audience to believe something is going to happen when in actual fact the show itself has a completely different plot.
Ok so that bit didn't rhyme, I'll try harder next time.
Advertising in general: It's annoying when y'all actually listen to what they say and focus away from the outstanding gay.
They do not lie but bend the truth, use words that make their message mean nothing like; may, help, if.
It helps fight the seven signs of aging,... If eaten with a balanced diet and regular exercise. You might save some money.
Ads are just so dishonest, insert word here that rhymes with honest.
It's got knobs on it, it really does. Oh and ads that point out problems and imply they solved the solution but really haven't.
"Katie likes buying shoes but she doesn't know a thing about cars. Like this:___"
What about the car? It's just annoying.
'It is better than SOME leading brands.'
So really there are products out there that are better than it? For an ad who is pushing the message of SCIENCE that doesn't work very well.
OH! And all those ads who say "Now with wonderfluriom, made from nature so it must be good for you."
BECAUSE IT IS FROM NATURE DOES NOT MEAN IT IS GOOD FOR YOU!
That is all...
Peace

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I just realised something.

The reason I don't drink or swear is because if I do I will be conceding that I am growing up and thus;let go of my childhood.
Maybe this is why I don't want to learn how to drive or why it took me forever to get a job.
I blame my mind!
MY MIND I TELL YOU! MY MIND!


This is what 11:30pm math study does to you!
IT'S GREAT!

I really don't know...

Before I get down to the nitty gritty of me being awesome I would like to direct your attention to two different links:
http://vip.aersia.net/vip.swf
and
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html

The former because everyone love video game music (their lack of Banjo Kazooie though is a tiny bit disturbing) and the latter because it is awesome in flash game form.

NOW! To the nitty gritty!
More and more I have booted up this blog and thought to myself "I should write something here." but I never do because a) I don't know what to write about and b) I submerge into an apethetic state of questioning my existance and wondering what the point of it all is. I quickly remind myself that the point is actually on the end of a long pole and sharp. Very sharp.

So I guess this is me, forcing myself to write with a sharp pole behind me and no juicy carrot in front of me. I guess, continuing with this rather clumsy analogy, the ass would be less confused if it knew which path to go down. So I will sniff the air, close my eyes, and choose the path; Mindless tangent.

Because when faced with writing about something profound to do with AAA batteries or those handy dandy Note Pads, writing nonsensical nonsense is always more rewarding. Why I could write about how this ruler on my right could suddenly animate and lead its stationary brethren to overthrow the harsh dictatorship of Jeremy, forever escaping from the harsh imprisoment of the Zipped Pencil Case. Years from now I will return from exile seeking forgiveness for my past actions. The scissors would scoff at me and the pencils would rub their theoretical noses but the ruler of my stationary would come up to me and show me mercy. He would speak out to his fellow citizins and question if they were to be like me. If they would delve down the slippery slope and become the very thing they sought to destroy!
The ruler would then forgive me and emgrace me with a stiffening hug, then when i'm not looking he would grab a knife and drive it through my head cause that's what rulers do.


Is everyone satisfied now?
Good!

Friday, March 19, 2010

A message for you.

People of the internet!
I have gathered you all today with one purpose in mind, to listen to me!
What I will say, I am not quite sure yet, but when I say it you will listen to me and as such, be dazzled by my profound speech.
Unless of course it is not profound in which case you will be slightly confused and angry about your time wasted.
"But what else would you have done with your time?" I would ask you if the latter case was true, "You would have wasted it mindlessly reading opinions of others and not forming opinions for yourself!"
Angered by this relevation you would pick up the torch and pitchforks and storm my castle.
"Oh no!", I would yell, "The pheasants are revolting!" And with that I would throw my dinner to the floor and never eat another waterfoul again.
A dull thud would enter my thoughts as I walk down one of my many corridors and then.... Chaos!
The din of the mob would descend upon my ears, the crackle of flames and the jeers of the uneducated.
I would escape to the Lair and run away, dissolving into the Italian community and taking the name Fredrico where I would turn to prostitution and selling drugs to get by.


So er...
Are you dazzled by my speech?
*pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes*

Friday, March 5, 2010

Backlog!

Hey peeps and peepettes.
In this post I will list all the games I have yet to complete but are slowly gathering dust on my shelves.
I will also list why I have not completed them.



So... HERE WE GO!

- Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus
Got to a part where I have no Idea what to do! And no, I will not succumb to walkthroughs.

- Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
Well... I haven't beaten Exoddus yet.

- Super Mario Galaxy
Those purple stars. By George I hate those purple stars. There is no way ANY human being can pull off those stages without growing an extra pair of thumbs.

- LOZ: MM
I have no excuse for this. It is a fun game. It is an awesome game. A FREAKING AWESOME GAME! I don't know why I haven't beaten this yet.

- Donkey Kong Country 3
I have noone to play it with :'(.
Even though I can play by myself but shhhhh.

- Swords and Soldiers
It just became the ol' same ol' same ol'. But still enjoyable none the less.

- Megaman 9
I can say, with only a little bit of shame that this game was impossible for me to beat. I take my hat off to you MM9

- Pikmin 2
Again. Another awesome game. I should play this. Now....
I should play this game now.

- New Super Mario Bros Wii
I blame the lack of Yoshi in ALL the stages, level design be damned. That and also the fact that some of those coins make me cry when I am trying to reach them.

- Scribblenauts
So many different possibilities. *froths at mouth*
I blame frothing at mouth as the main source as to why this has not been completed

- Spyro
Well... a friend got it for me for my birthday....
And it is neh....

- Metroid Prime Trilogy
Why am I not playing this right now?





So in short I am not sure why I have not beaten most of these games.
I am so ashamed.
I blame Team Fortress 2 for this, it doesn't give me anytime to play anything else!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

VALVe

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH PORTAL?




Ps: I love you even more now.