The reason I don't drink or swear is because if I do I will be conceding that I am growing up and thus;let go of my childhood.
Maybe this is why I don't want to learn how to drive or why it took me forever to get a job.
I blame my mind!
MY MIND I TELL YOU! MY MIND!
This is what 11:30pm math study does to you!
IT'S GREAT!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I really don't know...
Before I get down to the nitty gritty of me being awesome I would like to direct your attention to two different links:
http://vip.aersia.net/vip.swf
and
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
The former because everyone love video game music (their lack of Banjo Kazooie though is a tiny bit disturbing) and the latter because it is awesome in flash game form.
NOW! To the nitty gritty!
More and more I have booted up this blog and thought to myself "I should write something here." but I never do because a) I don't know what to write about and b) I submerge into an apethetic state of questioning my existance and wondering what the point of it all is. I quickly remind myself that the point is actually on the end of a long pole and sharp. Very sharp.
So I guess this is me, forcing myself to write with a sharp pole behind me and no juicy carrot in front of me. I guess, continuing with this rather clumsy analogy, the ass would be less confused if it knew which path to go down. So I will sniff the air, close my eyes, and choose the path; Mindless tangent.
Because when faced with writing about something profound to do with AAA batteries or those handy dandy Note Pads, writing nonsensical nonsense is always more rewarding. Why I could write about how this ruler on my right could suddenly animate and lead its stationary brethren to overthrow the harsh dictatorship of Jeremy, forever escaping from the harsh imprisoment of the Zipped Pencil Case. Years from now I will return from exile seeking forgiveness for my past actions. The scissors would scoff at me and the pencils would rub their theoretical noses but the ruler of my stationary would come up to me and show me mercy. He would speak out to his fellow citizins and question if they were to be like me. If they would delve down the slippery slope and become the very thing they sought to destroy!
The ruler would then forgive me and emgrace me with a stiffening hug, then when i'm not looking he would grab a knife and drive it through my head cause that's what rulers do.
Is everyone satisfied now?
Good!
http://vip.aersia.net/vip.swf
and
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
The former because everyone love video game music (their lack of Banjo Kazooie though is a tiny bit disturbing) and the latter because it is awesome in flash game form.
NOW! To the nitty gritty!
More and more I have booted up this blog and thought to myself "I should write something here." but I never do because a) I don't know what to write about and b) I submerge into an apethetic state of questioning my existance and wondering what the point of it all is. I quickly remind myself that the point is actually on the end of a long pole and sharp. Very sharp.
So I guess this is me, forcing myself to write with a sharp pole behind me and no juicy carrot in front of me. I guess, continuing with this rather clumsy analogy, the ass would be less confused if it knew which path to go down. So I will sniff the air, close my eyes, and choose the path; Mindless tangent.
Because when faced with writing about something profound to do with AAA batteries or those handy dandy Note Pads, writing nonsensical nonsense is always more rewarding. Why I could write about how this ruler on my right could suddenly animate and lead its stationary brethren to overthrow the harsh dictatorship of Jeremy, forever escaping from the harsh imprisoment of the Zipped Pencil Case. Years from now I will return from exile seeking forgiveness for my past actions. The scissors would scoff at me and the pencils would rub their theoretical noses but the ruler of my stationary would come up to me and show me mercy. He would speak out to his fellow citizins and question if they were to be like me. If they would delve down the slippery slope and become the very thing they sought to destroy!
The ruler would then forgive me and emgrace me with a stiffening hug, then when i'm not looking he would grab a knife and drive it through my head cause that's what rulers do.
Is everyone satisfied now?
Good!
Friday, March 19, 2010
A message for you.
People of the internet!
I have gathered you all today with one purpose in mind, to listen to me!
What I will say, I am not quite sure yet, but when I say it you will listen to me and as such, be dazzled by my profound speech.
Unless of course it is not profound in which case you will be slightly confused and angry about your time wasted.
"But what else would you have done with your time?" I would ask you if the latter case was true, "You would have wasted it mindlessly reading opinions of others and not forming opinions for yourself!"
Angered by this relevation you would pick up the torch and pitchforks and storm my castle.
"Oh no!", I would yell, "The pheasants are revolting!" And with that I would throw my dinner to the floor and never eat another waterfoul again.
A dull thud would enter my thoughts as I walk down one of my many corridors and then.... Chaos!
The din of the mob would descend upon my ears, the crackle of flames and the jeers of the uneducated.
I would escape to the Lair and run away, dissolving into the Italian community and taking the name Fredrico where I would turn to prostitution and selling drugs to get by.
So er...
Are you dazzled by my speech?
*pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes*
I have gathered you all today with one purpose in mind, to listen to me!
What I will say, I am not quite sure yet, but when I say it you will listen to me and as such, be dazzled by my profound speech.
Unless of course it is not profound in which case you will be slightly confused and angry about your time wasted.
"But what else would you have done with your time?" I would ask you if the latter case was true, "You would have wasted it mindlessly reading opinions of others and not forming opinions for yourself!"
Angered by this relevation you would pick up the torch and pitchforks and storm my castle.
"Oh no!", I would yell, "The pheasants are revolting!" And with that I would throw my dinner to the floor and never eat another waterfoul again.
A dull thud would enter my thoughts as I walk down one of my many corridors and then.... Chaos!
The din of the mob would descend upon my ears, the crackle of flames and the jeers of the uneducated.
I would escape to the Lair and run away, dissolving into the Italian community and taking the name Fredrico where I would turn to prostitution and selling drugs to get by.
So er...
Are you dazzled by my speech?
*pleasesayyespleasesayyespleasesayyes*
Friday, March 5, 2010
Backlog!
Hey peeps and peepettes.
In this post I will list all the games I have yet to complete but are slowly gathering dust on my shelves.
I will also list why I have not completed them.
So... HERE WE GO!
- Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus
Got to a part where I have no Idea what to do! And no, I will not succumb to walkthroughs.
- Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
Well... I haven't beaten Exoddus yet.
- Super Mario Galaxy
Those purple stars. By George I hate those purple stars. There is no way ANY human being can pull off those stages without growing an extra pair of thumbs.
- LOZ: MM
I have no excuse for this. It is a fun game. It is an awesome game. A FREAKING AWESOME GAME! I don't know why I haven't beaten this yet.
- Donkey Kong Country 3
I have noone to play it with :'(.
Even though I can play by myself but shhhhh.
- Swords and Soldiers
It just became the ol' same ol' same ol'. But still enjoyable none the less.
- Megaman 9
I can say, with only a little bit of shame that this game was impossible for me to beat. I take my hat off to you MM9
- Pikmin 2
Again. Another awesome game. I should play this. Now....
I should play this game now.
- New Super Mario Bros Wii
I blame the lack of Yoshi in ALL the stages, level design be damned. That and also the fact that some of those coins make me cry when I am trying to reach them.
- Scribblenauts
So many different possibilities. *froths at mouth*
I blame frothing at mouth as the main source as to why this has not been completed
- Spyro
Well... a friend got it for me for my birthday....
And it is neh....
- Metroid Prime Trilogy
Why am I not playing this right now?
So in short I am not sure why I have not beaten most of these games.
I am so ashamed.
I blame Team Fortress 2 for this, it doesn't give me anytime to play anything else!
In this post I will list all the games I have yet to complete but are slowly gathering dust on my shelves.
I will also list why I have not completed them.
So... HERE WE GO!
- Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus
Got to a part where I have no Idea what to do! And no, I will not succumb to walkthroughs.
- Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
Well... I haven't beaten Exoddus yet.
- Super Mario Galaxy
Those purple stars. By George I hate those purple stars. There is no way ANY human being can pull off those stages without growing an extra pair of thumbs.
- LOZ: MM
I have no excuse for this. It is a fun game. It is an awesome game. A FREAKING AWESOME GAME! I don't know why I haven't beaten this yet.
- Donkey Kong Country 3
I have noone to play it with :'(.
Even though I can play by myself but shhhhh.
- Swords and Soldiers
It just became the ol' same ol' same ol'. But still enjoyable none the less.
- Megaman 9
I can say, with only a little bit of shame that this game was impossible for me to beat. I take my hat off to you MM9
- Pikmin 2
Again. Another awesome game. I should play this. Now....
I should play this game now.
- New Super Mario Bros Wii
I blame the lack of Yoshi in ALL the stages, level design be damned. That and also the fact that some of those coins make me cry when I am trying to reach them.
- Scribblenauts
So many different possibilities. *froths at mouth*
I blame frothing at mouth as the main source as to why this has not been completed
- Spyro
Well... a friend got it for me for my birthday....
And it is neh....
- Metroid Prime Trilogy
Why am I not playing this right now?
So in short I am not sure why I have not beaten most of these games.
I am so ashamed.
I blame Team Fortress 2 for this, it doesn't give me anytime to play anything else!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
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